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Valentine’s Fail or Is It?

February 14, 2011 12 comments

I love Valentine’s Day. 

I love donning an outfit of pink and red.

I love to pick out cards for my kids and my husband.

I love planning a special dinner and eating a decadent dessert.

I love attending my kids’ class parties.

I love my husband and my kids.

I love celebrating love.

But this year…

I love that I have a sinister cold.

I love that I have a zit between my nose and my upper lip from the lotion kleenex that hurts when I used it.

I love that my hair is dirty (and needs a color touch up), my nose is red and my Valentine’s Day outfit is grey sweats.

I love that the antibiotics are making me so sick that I will be having brown rice for dinner.

I love that my husband and I are cancelling our romantic dinner because I am too sick to enjoy it.

However…

I love that my husband bought cards for the kids from both of us, flowers for our nanny, flowers for our son’s teacher and cards for me, despite the fact that I did nothing.

I love that my son contorted himself into the shape of a heart when I told him he was my valentine.

I love that my daughter offered to share he prized chocolate heart with me because she loves me ( I let her keep it – yes I love her that much!)

I love that my kids had great Valentine’s Day despite my calamities.

I love that the perfect gift for my husband could be purchased next door to the pharmacy I went to this morning. (A little late, but gift and card acquired).

I love that my husband had Sherry’s Berries delivered to me at noon.

I love that he had roses delivered to me at 4:30.

I love that he loves me despite my mucous, upset stomach and many short-comings.

I love being married to a man who loves to love, loves unconditionally and knows chocolate cures almost everything.

I love being this lucky.

Categories: Holidays, Love Tags: , ,

What I’ll Miss When My Kids Grow Up

January 4, 2011 16 comments

I was exhausted last night.  I did another marathon post-bedtime poop party with my daughter.  I swear she poops at will and her will is AFTER I have put her to bed.  She pulls the poop card to get out of bed and hang out.  She sits on the potty for 30 minutes and somehow pulls poop out of her ass little touchy literally and figuratively.  It doesn’t matter if she has pooped twice already during the day.  Come 8:30 pm, she waltzes in for her poop party.  Did I mention she likes me to hold her hands to help “push the big poop out”. (I know, I am a sucker).  So I sit, on the bathroom floor, holding my daughter’s hands while she talks to me, gets me to sing “There’s a Whole In My Bucket” and pushes out the poop.

Last night nearly killed me.  I was tired, had a horrible headache and today is the first day back to work and school.  As I sat there fuming, she bent over and kissed my forehead.  In that moment, I pulled it together and reminded myself that despite the trials of parenthood, there are some amazing parts too.  

I am writing myself a list of the things I will miss when my kids are all grown up, so that I don’t take these precious moments for granted.   It is my intent to refer to this list when I am tempted to daydream about fast-forwarding to the part where they are grown up and out of the house.

Here’s a start:

  • Falling asleep cuddled up with them
  • Waking up to kisses on my nose
  • Receiving hugs that nearly knock me over
  • Spontaneous and surprise art projects
  • Hearing the giggles from the other room when they are playing well together
  • Hearing them running through the hall to come see me when they get home from school
  • “I love you Mommy”
  • “Mommy, will you snuggle me?”
  • Watching their excitement at Christmas
  • Seeing them accomplish a goal for the first time – waterskiing, a soccer goal, a somersault
  • Seeing their eyes light up when something delights them
  • Cute mispronunciation of words
  • Eskimo kisses
  • Butterfly kisses

Clearly, this list could go on forever.  Just starting this list has put me back in my zen mommy place.  It’s only breakfast, so who knows how long it will last, but I can always work on this list some more if when they dump their cereal on the floor.

What will you miss?

Lust

December 8, 2010 9 comments

This is the grand finale of the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge.  I am asked to provide seven love secrets.  This is a PG-13 blog on its raciest days and does not necessarily reflect my wild side, but here are seven love secrets.

  1. My husband and I had sex in a room full of people (watching a loud movie in the dark) without anyone knowing.  College or post-college – you decide…
  2. When my son was 14 months, we were on vacation in Hawaii.  My husband I got the tropical itch and persuaded my husband to have sex while our son was in his crib.  He woke up and yelled, “Daddy, no!”  Game Over!
  3. Every guy I know has the same dream – trifecta.  If you can’t figure it out, I can’t tell you.  No, it’s not a threesome.
  4. I still wear my wedding night lingerie every year on our anniversary.
  5. My husband and I have a code word for oral sex (no, not going to tell).  I let it slip once with some girlfriends and now this common phrase gets me into all sorts of laughter and trouble.
  6. The lock on our bedroom door doesn’t work.  Now that our son is older, we often use a chair to block the door, just in case.
  7. 6:00 pm is my hot time.  It makes cooking dinner with my husband fun, but leads nowhere with two hungry children.

As I am writing this, I am trying to think of all the people I know who read this.  I am hoping to not forget the one person I wouldn’t want to look in the eye when I realize they know some of these things.  Oh well, that would be a blog post in itself!

I told you mine, now tell me yours!

Might I recommend a bigger blanket for privacy...

I Choose

October 1, 2010 1 comment
  • I choose balance
  • I choose to be kind to myself
  • I choose to hold my tongue and not try to “set somebody else straight”
  • I choose to look for the good in a day and the good in a person
  • I choose to smile at strangers and sometimes even help them
  • I choose to give an empathetic smile to a mom with a screaming child
  • I choose to work and be a mom
  • I choose to put my family first, usually
  • I choose to parent like Child Protective Services is watching
  • I choose to love

I don’t make these great choices everyday, but when I don’t, I choose to try again tomorrow.

What do you choose?

My Better Half

September 15, 2010 22 comments

My husband left for a business trip this morning.  He was gone before the sun came up.  My daughter had me up from 2:30 to 4:30 am and I was trying to catch a few extra winks when my husband called to say good morning and make sure I got up okay.  He was worried that he had not re-set the alarm clock, although unbeknownst to him, I had set my own alarm.  So I drug myself out of bed and started the morning routine.  When I walked into the kitchen, he had laid out my son’s lunch bag, put out everything for his lunch that didn’t need to be kept cold (down to the knife to make his sandwich) and arranged his homework.  This was such a sweet gesture, but I wasn’t shocked…

My husband is better at… well everything sometimes.  He gets  up (usually before me), gets our son dressed, packs his lunch and starts breakfast.  He does the laundry, the grocery shopping and the cooking.  He volunteers in my son’s class twice per month and helps coach his sports.  He has tea parties with our 3-year old daughter and knows  my son’s weekly spelling words better than me every week.  Oh yeah, and he’s the bread-winner.

There are days when I definitely feel like the lesser half.  This is not because of anything my husband says or does, but just because I have a nasty habit of keeping score when I am losing.  (Ironically, I don’t keep score when I am ahead).  I often jokingly say, “What do I bring to the marriage?”  But those are thought for another day.

Today, I want to celebrate and appreciate having a better half.  I have shared in a previous post that he is my best friend.  I am so fortunate to have a husband who is my partner in all of this chaos.  He keeps me as balanced as I can be (which is still off-balance).  My kids are lucky to have a dad that is not solely devoted to his career.  Our family and our life works because my husband is great.  People often ask how we juggle two careers, two kids and still appear it to have it together most of the time.  The answer is often simple: I have a better half!

10 Rules of Slightly Off-Balance Me

September 1, 2010 4 comments

I am currently reading Bitter Is The New Black by Jen Lancaster.  In her book, she has the “Jen Commandments” that basically give her boyfriend Fletch some guidelines he must adhere to.  Hilarious!  They inspired me to write my commandments.  I am sure my husband has already figured these out, but a few might be universal – please check with your significant other!

  1. Skin care, hair care and supplements are not luxuries, they are necessities – I plan to grow old gracefully.  Well, at least look graceful.
  2. If opening a bottle of wine, save the cheap stuff for someone else.  I may have broken up with wine, but we still each other, and I want our reunions to be special.
  3. I like to cook but I do not want to be expected to do it on a regular basis.
  4. I have mowed a lawn once.  Period.
  5. I am a HUGE over-communicator (I know you’re shocked), failure to communicate back to me will be taken as a sign of hostility.
  6. When faced with a situation I don’t know how to handle (like turning off a quad), I will throw my hands up in the air and say”What do I do?” Come running.
  7. Never leave the house without a hug and kiss goodbye.  However, if one of us has not brushed our teeth, stick to the cheek please.
  8. That reminds me, morning breath is a huge inhibitor to morning sex.
  9. I like to pretend I am handy and love to have a reason to carry around the Makita (I say that word over and over), please don’t burst my bubble.
  10. I am fine with guy humor and fraternity house talk, but the toilet seat must be down.

Wow, 10 went fast and I have more to say.  This might be the first installment of the rule book…  I realize I may sound high maintenance, I prefer to tell my husband I am a delicate orchid, that when properly cared for provides endless beauty and enjoyment.  (Then we both laugh hysterically.) 

What are your rules?

I look handy just carrying it around!

I CHOOSE To Love

August 19, 2010 16 comments

In a recent post, I talked about I feel kids help my marriage.  This may seem unusual to some, but  I truly believe I can choose my perspective and response to life.  Not every day is magic and love.  I break under pressure, I consider sending my kids off to the circus and my husband to Antarctica, but I make choices.  I chose to have kids and I choose to focus on the positive. 

My husband and I did a couples counseling weekend before we got married and they said you will not be in love with your partner through your whole marriage, some days you will have to use your resolve and choose to love.  I choose to love on the tough days.  When I want to unleash my completely unbalanced side on my husband, I make a conscious decision to love him.  I definitely do not feel in love with him at that moment, but I remind myself that our relationship is deeper than that.  My choice to love him is what carries me through until I feel “in love” again.  I know that life is full of ups and downs.  I use the ups to get me through the downs.  I am confident that each chapter in my life will be different.  I also now have a clever way of telling him I am angry with him the kids are present – when he hears me say “I am choosing to love you”, he knows he has set off my crazy side!

I used my “choose to love mantra” with a friend yesterday.  She was having one of those days, she was arguing with her husband in front of her kids.  She was at her wit’s end and didn’t provide the normal explanation to her kids that mommies and daddies fight, but still love each other.  Instead, she had that moment where her head may have been capable of spinning around on her neck and she was driving the anger train!  She needed fresh perspective.  I reminded her that she has the ability to choose to love him. 

– On a side note, imagine how annoying it must be to have a friend like me who interjects positivity and “choose to love” mantras when you’re pissed off and ready to come unglued.  Maybe it’s not my advice that helps, but rather that her husband seems like a better ally then my Little Mary Sunshine personality (reminder: I have several personalities).

Back to the point – I believe that my marriage is strengthened by weathering the rocky periods.  I look back on the ten years of my marriage and they haven’t all been as good as this one and I know there will be rough years in the future, but I’d rather be tested and pass than keep my marriage in a bubble.  It’s a lot of work to choose happiness, positivity and love.  It’s also a lot of work to be friends with me, but I have to hope that there is some goodness in both.