Wine And I Are Breaking Up
I have loved you since my 21st birthday when we met on a wine tasting trip. We have had a great relationship, with the occasional quarrels. During those rough patches you made me crazy, even sick to my stomach because your love was too strong, but I kept coming back. We have had fun and made many wonderful memories.
But, my beloved, I have changed. It’s not you, it’s me. My tolerance for you has changed. I used to be able to enjoy your whole bottle, without consequence. But now, I sleep poorly after seeing you. I find mornings difficult when I spend the evening, or even two glasses with you. I am also no longer immune to the bad influences of your dangerous friends, like dessert, who you seem to bring along on our dates. Based on the increasing frequency of regret the morning after we’re together, I must end the relationship.
But hey, we can still be friends. We can see each other occasionally, even spend an evening together from time to time, like friends with benefits. But our love affair is over. I need to see others that don’t leaving me feeling badly the next day. I have been spending more time with a pirate, a captain by the name of Morgan and his friend, a sailor named Jerry. They provide fun and relaxation, without the unpleasant quarrels and feelings of regret the next morning.
I do have some concerns about how limiting our relationship will affect our social circle. My friends are used to us being a couple, they enjoy you’re company when they spend time with me, but they’ll have to adjust. My husband is thrilled that I am putting boundaries on our relationship, because it allows him to spend more time (yet less money) with you.
Thank you for a fabulous love affair, I will always appreciate your complexity, variety and the joy you have brought me. I will eagerly anticipate our occasional encounters and will know that I have benefitted from our relationship.