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Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

I Quit

November 10, 2014 3 comments

No, I am not announcing my intention to quit blogging.  After a 2+ year unannounced sabbatical, that would just be silly. And anti-climatic. And a short-post.

But there are several things I am thinking about quitting (or not quitting) and I promised a friend that I would stop blogging in my head, so this post is for her!

Things I Am Quitting

  • Wearing workout clothes – I rarely workout these days, pajamas make more sense, but I will change them in the morning… sometimes.
  • Dieting – Life is stressful, food helps.  If I diet I will be more cranky and crazy than I am now.  That’s not good for anyone.
  • Exercising – If I am in my pajamas and busy eating, how could I possibly workout?
  • Playdates – Because my definition of playdate is sending the kids out the door in hopes that they find a neighbor. Because I suck at scheduling them and then feel guilty.  The only exception is when someone asks for my help (which I am truly happy to do) or my kids plan one while I am standing there (very effective and requires less back and forth texting).  I may wear a short to school that says “I am happy to have your kids over.  Put them in my car instead of waiting for me to offer” (good thing I am stopping the diet and exercise, that’s a lot for one shirt).
  • Saying tomorrow is a new day – tomorrow will be a list of things I should have done today in addition to tomorrow’s to-dos.  Tomorrow will taunt me and make me miss today.  Tomorrow is a jerk.
  • Pretending I know how to juggle.  If I do one thing in my life well, the others suffer.  I don’t know how to balance it and be sane, which leads me to…
  • Sanity – it is over-rated and so damn hard to achieve.

Things I Am Not Quitting

  • Self-deprecating humor – If I say it before someone else it doesn’t hurt so bad. Especially useful at work, where I do a ‘Daily F*&% Ups Recap’.  With so much on my plate, things are starting to fray like a bad pair of 80’s denim cut-offs
  • Drinking – Wine and Vodka (no not mixed together… usually…) keeps the men with the nice white coat from putting me in the nice padded room.
  • Wishing I could write more – Because it’s healthier than wine and vodka.
  • Remembering that many people are chasing that elusive balance.  Balance is like an Elvis sighting, they happen from time to time, but aren’t believable.
  • My job – Because it fulfills me it pays the bills.  As soon as I find the money tree in my backyard, I will have a whole new blog.  For now, I just have a lot of holes in my backyard – watch your step.
  • Swearing – It’s cathartic.
  • Friends – I have a 60+hour per week job and 2 kids in school and sports.  I only have help four hours per week.  I don’t see any of my amazing friends as much as I’d like, but knowing they exist is much better than imaginary friends.
  • My husband and kids – the three most amazing blessings God could give me.  They make everything worth it (although often contribute to my insanity)
  • Recognizing the humor in life’s challenges.  I can’t commit to laughing, but I will observe said humor with a smug look on my face.

I Quit

What are you quitting or not quitting?

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From a Mom to Her Friends

May 16, 2012 5 comments

To all of my friends, in-persona nd virtual, who help this mommy stay more balanced than not:

When you listen, I keep my sanity.

When you laugh, my heart smiles.

When you show support, I survive.

When you rant, I agree.

When you’re lost, I hold the compass.

When you’re ready to pull it together, I help gather the pieces.

When you have a great day, I am happy.

When you interrupt, I am glad you can relate.

When you’re sad, I am heartbroken.

When you triumph, I am not surprised.

When you walk out of the room, I steal a sip of your wine!

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10 Lessons from a Girls Weekend

April 11, 2011 12 comments

The following lessons may or may not have come from actual or alleged events.  You can’t prove these things happened.  I destroyed the pictures.  Enjoy the lessons and take them to heart!

  1. There are three slots on an ATM – the one you put the card in, the one you get a receipt from and the one that dispenses the money.  These slots are not interchangeable.
  2. When a friend gives you directions to a bar four times, it is time to pick that friend up from said bar.
  3. When attempting to rent a stack of chick flicks, it is easier to ask how to open a rental account than to guess other people’s’ account information.
  4. Short bar patrons are not souvenirs.  Even if she is 4′ 10″ one should not try to put her in their pocket.
  5. Yoga on patio cushions is dangerous.
  6. There is a brief window where karaoke sounds good: after listeners have had enough to drink to miss the mistakes, but before the singers have had too much to drink and sit down on stage.
  7. If you’re going to get on your hands and knees to bow to your new friend at the bar because she has six kids and multiple grandchildren, wash your hands afterwards.
  8. Playing ‘hide the car’ while a friend is in a store, never becomes mature old.
  9. If eye flirting with a guy at the other end of the bar doesn’t create a love connection, throwing ice at him probably won’t either.
  10. There is a fine line between a classy woman and a two scoops of crazy one.

They are rather confusing...

Thank You to My Parenting Village

April 8, 2011 13 comments

When it comes to parenting, they (whoever ‘they’ are) say “it takes a village”.  I whole-heartedly believe this is true.  As a working-mom, I rely on my village to make it all happen.  Carpools, playdates, meal swaps – my village works together to make sure our kids are dropped off, picked up, fed, have presents for parties and uniforms for games.

But not just working parents need the village.  Stay-at-home moms and dads need the village too.  They need a break from their precious darlings or they need back-up when they have four kids playing two sports each with games in different parts of the state.  Bottom line, all parents need a village.

What’s amazing about my village is how efficient it is, how seamlessly our villagers work to ensure the best for every child.  The other day, my son was standing in front of the school waiting to be picked up.  In the mere minutes that he waited, two of my friends checked to see if he had a ride.  They talked to the mother picking him up to make sure he was taken care of.  My son was not crying, he did not look distressed, but my friends in my village know the routine and they saw him in front a minute past when he normally is out there.  They made sure he was accounted for.

Having a village full of aware, considerate friends is more valuable than a job, a pay check or any other material thing.  My village watches out for my kids, shares tips and advice and picks me up on the low days we all have as parents.  We celebrate as a village too.  Lost teeth, passing the big test, learning to ride a bike; we rejoice as a village, thus making every celebration more monumental for our children.  The village, and the people of my village are amazing, unique and keep me balanced.

Thank you to my wonderful village, you make my heart full and my worries less.

What do you want to thank your village for?

Mechanical Bulls, Mullets and Friends

March 29, 2011 16 comments

This last weekend, after having sushi with friends, we decided to go the Saloon in town.  I love saying this, because I am hoping it conjures up images of me living in Texas and wearing some sassy boots.  I really do live in the suburbs, but we do have a saloon with a mechanical bull.

After running up a bill that was more Sapporo than sushi (and it was a lot of sushi), we headed over to the Saloon.  As some of you may know, I am all for an adventure.  Before we even left the parking lot of the sushi restaurant, my husband was making me swear I would not ride the mechanical bull.  We were placing bets in the parking lot on who would ride and my husband kept reminding me that I am already a frequent visitor to the chiropractor and a bull ride would not help.  I do not think it is appropriate to bring up my aging, frail body on my birthday.

Upon arriving, I felt like the bull was calling my name, my friends were trying to talk me into it and my husband was giving me the look of, ‘I will not give you sympathy or pay for the massages’.  We decided two other friends would ride, but I would at least get on for a picture.  Only I couldn’t even get on by myself.  Maybe it was the Sapporo or the high-heeled boots, or the Sapporo, but it took the help of a friend to even get me on – it was clear riding would not go any better.  Rather I was a passionate spectator.

The only thing that could steal my attention was the 80’s band setting up.  One of the guys had a mullet and the female lead definitely rocked the 80’s – hard!  I was instantly enamored!  I was the first one on the dance floor – inappropriately early.  I drug my tolerant friends and two perfect strangers out with me.  Is there anything better than listening to an 80’s band in a Saloon, with fantastic, indulgent friends?

Well yes, let me suggest some improvements:

  • They didn’t know any Bon Jovi songs.  There should be a law that states that if you have a mullet, you know Bon Jovi songs.
  • I am too old to dance with such enthusiasm (think hamming it up – combination swing dancing and jazzercise) in high-heeled boots.  My shins, calves and ankles are still recovering.  I should have taken the boots off earlier.
  • If you can’t remember how many beers you had at dinner, don’t drink seven captain and diets at the saloon, even if you are making up for Lent.
  • When everyone wants to leave, do not explain to your husband that the two nice women you met on the dance floor can bring you home later.
  • We should have used a camera that didn’t create the devil eyes, but it’s almost fitting because I felt like the devil had strapped me to a mechanical bull and done his worst the next morning…

Yes, my friend in the picture had to help me up AND hold me up, I would have surely fallen off the back!

Re-Pay It Forward

March 10, 2011 26 comments

Do you ever have those moments in life that you wish you could do over and be a better you?  Here’s one of mine:

My cousin, Lisa, is like a sister to me.  I love her so much my heart wants to explode.  So naturally, when she was in labor I had to be there to support her.  I was stuck at work all day and couldn’t leave for the hospital when I first got the call.  When I got off work, before I started the 45 minute drive to her hospital, I stopped at the grocery store to get her flowers.  I was excited, I was nervous and I was in a hurry!!

As I stood in line to checkout, the woman in front of me had 4 cans of green beans, but there was something wrong with her form of payment.  They had to go get a manager, it took ‘forever’.  I am ashamed to say I was rolling my eyes and tapping my foot with impatience.

As she finished her transaction and walked away, I realized the problem was with her food stamps card.  I will never forget how horrible I felt.  Had I not been so absorbed in my life, and realized what was going on, I would have gladly paid for her green beans to expedite things or… I could have just been more patient.  That woman will never know that I wasn’t rolling my eyes at the form of payment and I can never make up my rudeness to her (something I will never forget).

But there is still a lesson to be learned and a way to create something positive out of my negative behavior.  I use that day to re-pay it forward.  You have likely heard of paying it forward, buying the next person’s coffee, paying the next driver’s toll fees.  I love those gestures, but also practice small acts of patience and kindness with strangers.  I need to make amends to a stranger for being rude, so I make sure to treat other strangers better. 

  • I wait patiently when someone is trying to park their car next to mine (it’s a big SUV and seems to intimidate people). 
  • I pull the lever so the next person has a paper towel in the airport restroom. 
  • I help people get their baggage up to the ticket counter.
  • Helping people who are lost (directionally – if they are lost in their lives, I probably would only hurt the situation).
  • Holding the elevator doors when you know the person is just around the corner even though you can’t see them and can get away with letting the doors close. 

Since I can’t ever apologize to that woman in the grocery store, I try to pass on other goodness that I hope will come back to her.

I also know there will be other moments when I am distracted, stressed or simply not being the best Paige I can be, so I re-pay it forward for those moments too.

How do you show kindness to strangers?

10 Lessons From a Girl’s Weekend

February 28, 2011 6 comments

I had a fabulous girls weekend.  Friday night was book club a passion party and Saturday I left for San Francisco for some quality time with my cousin (who is more like a sister).  I had a wonderful weekend full of laughs, yummy food and female bonding, but certainly learned a few lessons:

  1. When soup boils over, do not grab a wet paper towel to pull the grate off the burner, in order to clean it immediately.  Fight the OCD impulses, wait until the stove has cooled down and never use a wet towel – paper or otherwise.
  2. When hosting a passion party, not only do you need to have the kids out of the house, but they need to remain out of the house until you do a full cleaning.  Check under the sofa to make sure there are no passion party product catalogs that your kids can find.
  3. When departing for the city – listen to the advice you give your kids – go potty before you leave.  While you may not be conspicuous running through Union Square doing the pee pee (or worse) dance, it can be uncomfortable and the thought of not making it to the hotel bathroom frightening.
  4. When driving to any big city, choose your car wisely.  The biggest SUV on the road is not the best choice.  If you have no other vehicle option, make sure you know the height restrictions of the parking garage AND the height of your car.  Accuracy is important here, otherwise one might learn what those metal tube height signs sound like when they scrape the top of your car.  Luggage racks can act as the sacrifical lamb life saver in this situation.
  5. Valet parking (with the additional oversize vehicle fee) at the hotel is expensive, but slightly less than the deductible on your car insurance.  Suck it up when the valet mentions your car is not the best choice for the city.
  6. Eating your way through San Francisco may sound like a good great idea, but should be left to the professionals.  Over eating can lead to food coma which can cause falling asleep during the previews of a movie and one should be careful about sleeping in the Metreon.  Three such food comas in 24 hours probably isn’t healthy and may result in a sleepless night, despite the Heavenly Bed.
  7. Check your cell phone alarm clock and ensure it is off.  Waking up at 6:00 am on a girls weekend after a night of food coma fall-out can be hazardous.
  8. If you plan to shop in the city, tell your husband in advance to avoid shell shock.  If you don’t plan to shop in the city, you’re just fooling yourself.  Shopping in the city is as unavoidable as encountering crazy, ranting women with black eyes and missing teeth.
  9. When a man is sitting in the park with a sign that says “Free Advice”, you should stop and listen.  It can’t be worse than the advice we give our friends.
  10. There is nothing better for your soul than a weekend of girl time (and nothing worse for your waist line).

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