Home > Confessions, Love, Relationships > Humble, Grateful and Still Off-Balance

Humble, Grateful and Still Off-Balance

The day after receiving so much traffic from being freshly pressed, thank you Freshly Pressed Gods, I am faced with what to write about.  Do I follow in Lori Dyan’s footsteps and discuss the overwhelming, thrilling experience of having 2,000+ hits in a single day?  I loved her post, and could certainly discuss the excitement of the day, however, I am going to stick to what I always do, write about what is pounding the hardest in my head and/or heart.

I am humble, grateful and…

I am overwhelmed by a day so filled with love and hope.  Yesterday would have been a great day just celebrating 10 years of marriage to my husband.  I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful partner to share in the joys and struggles of life.  I know that 10 years would not have happened without him being who he is. 

However, in addition, I was given the unique gift of discussing love, marriage and children with so many people yesterday.  I was humbled by the kind words people shared about my perspective.  But I feel the need for full disclosure: I am not positive and grateful every day.  Children and marriage are tough!  Some days, I am the crazy lady who closes the windows so the neighbors don’t hear me screaming at the kids.  I am the irrational wife who takes out a bad day on her husband by being cranky and hard to please.  My blog is called Slightly Off-Balance for a reason – I am on an emotional roller coaster, just like I suspect most people are. 

What made yesterday different is that each comment on how important it is to be positive reinforced my resolve, commitment and appreciation of family.   Readers yesterday took my feelings and gave them more strength than ever.  Even the gentleman who said I might be delusional (I loved his honesty) was a reminder that every day is not Hallmark cards,  flowers* and anniversary dinners.  I read every comment and will finish responding to each one, not only because I appreciate the time people take to read my thoughts but because I will go back to those comments to get me through the hard days.  A hundred plus strangers are now part of my marriage enjoyment/maintenance/survival toolkit – wow, that is a gift.  I told my husband last night at dinner that on bad days I am going to read what I wrote yesterday and the subsequent comments to remind me of my priorities.

Now, it wouldn’t be a post from me if there wasn’t a flip side – Things were going so well yesterday that I felt like anything was possible. In addition to the joys I have shared, we had some good news on a business endeavor yesterday, it felt like I was charmed.  I was ready to take my luck to Vegas!  So as I sat at dinner with my husband last night, drinking too much wine, I started to think that more good things could potentially happen.  I got it in my wine and love filled head that my husband was going to propose to me to renew our vows and that he had an anniversary ring. (I am pausing so you can finish laughing).  Although I am well aware that it is a bad economy and we had agreed no gifts, I decided he had been planning for so long that it was still possible.  I thought the waitress was pushing dessert hard and looking at my husband in a knowing way, I pictured the ring arriving on my dessert plate.  I even went as far as texting one of my friends my ludicrous thoughts while my husband was in the bathroom. 

You know how the story ends, there was no new ring, no “proposal” and I didn’t even get flowers (pausing to remind myself of appreciation and love), but there was a lot of chuckling when I told my husband of my crazy thoughts.  You see, he knows who he is married to, my thoughts did not surprise him or upset him, he looked at me fondly the way we look at our children when they are being insane.  That look of amusement and love was almost as good as a new ring…

Thanks for being part of the ride!

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  1. August 13, 2010 at 8:54 am

    Great follow-up and so true about the roller coaster… the crazy ideas that I convince myself of sometimes are for more embarrassing than that. I had my actual engagement planned and worked out 6 or 7 times over before T got around to actually doing it….

    And thanks for the shout-outs! 🙂

    • August 13, 2010 at 3:07 pm

      I could write a whole book on events I have concocted in my head! Hmmm….

  2. August 13, 2010 at 11:42 am

    *snort* loved your confession about what you expected from your anniversary. My husband and I refer to it as ‘the dream’–and if you were to ask him, he would know exactly what you were talking about, because I remind him that still, EVERY. DAY. I hold onto the dream that things will be a certain way for us. I won’t go into the gory details, but it is nice to know I’m not the only one.

    And in fererence to being delusional, I found another blog yesterday also, and the author had posted these words today:

    ‘some days the crazy just pours out like a broken faucet.’

    yeah. you get it. 🙂

    • August 13, 2010 at 3:09 pm

      What’s life without dreams?! 🙂 Send me the url for the blog you quoted, it sounds like one I would appreciate!

  3. August 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    OMG Paige! Amazing!!!! Love that you got ‘pressed’ – and the topic was great (my Disney Dad is known as Fun Daddy around our house). Congratulations on *meeting* so many great people – isn’t it fun to have so many great blogs at your fingertips via the comments?

    Enjoy the ride…
    Lori

    • August 13, 2010 at 3:13 pm

      Thank you Lori, I have thought about you a lot in the last 24 hours! Now you’ll have to coach me through post FP!

  4. August 13, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Some days, I am the crazy lady who closes the windows so the neighbors don’t hear me screaming at the kids. I am the irrational wife who takes out a bad day on her husband by being cranky and hard to please.

    We all have those days. Some days are just HARD. And boy, I have a temper and I often regret how easy it is me to fly-off-the-handle and scream at the kids or at Mama for whatever’s bugging me, them or not. I am the king of over-reaction, too, which adds a dash of guilt to that regret and usually ends with profuse apologies.

    But you know, like you, I wouldn’t trade a second of the bad because the good is just oh so good and worth every second of bad.

    And I love your outlook on family and parenting and everything. Even though you may not be positive all the time (and who can be and still live in reality?), you seem to keep your focus positive, which is what grounds you and keeps you just “slightly off-balance!” ;D

  5. August 13, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks, I know from your posts you’re only a “slightly” off-balance dad. It’s great sharing stories!

  6. August 13, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    So glad you had your day — that was a nice post to share. I’m happy to know that you are also a “dreamer,”…although many of mine end with me randomly bumping into celebrities who then want to become my best friends…hmmmmm….

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