Home > Lists, Love, Paige's Favorites, Parenting, Relationships > 10 Reasons My Kids Help My Marriage

10 Reasons My Kids Help My Marriage

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary.  Please send sympathy cards to my husband. 😉  I have discussed how I miss my husband even though we live in the same house as a result of having the chaos of kids.  But today I am reflecting, and appreciating, all of the gifts my children bring to my marriage.  Many of you know I love lists, so here we go:

  1. The kids unite us in a common cause of being great parents.  We both try hard and work at it together.
  2. They keep us young (out of self-preservation) with sports, bike rides and play time.
  3. Our kids provide us endless goals to satisfy our achievement oriented personalities.  Celebrating those milestones as a family brings my husband and I closer together.
  4. They can make our sex life risky and exciting.  In other words the threat of them walking in at any minute.
  5. They keep us from taking life too seriously.  Who can be stoic when your kids are showing you their latest dance moves?!
  6. They provide another reason not to walk out when the going gets tough.
  7. They are constant reminders of unconditional love – both giving and receiving.
  8. When we’re engaged in a battle of wills with our kids and my husband is my only ally, it makes our bond stronger.
  9. I see the best parts of him in them and it reminds me of why I fell in love.
  10. I can fall in love all over again watching my husband be a tender, nurturing father.

My husband and I don’t always agree about the kids.  AKA he is Disney Dad and I am the enforcer, we balance each other out and keep each other sane.  Our kids will always test our patience, conviction and physical endurance.  The rewards of passing those tests are endless love, laughter and joy.

  1. Marvi Marti
    August 12, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Very inspiring look at what kids bring to our marriages. Congrats on your anniversary and many many more to come!

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:15 am

      Thank you. I read your post today. The irony is painful. Your writing was raw, honest and beautiful. I subscribed!

  2. Raul
    August 12, 2010 at 7:04 am

    This is a great list and something to look forward to when I have kids. 🙂


    • August 12, 2010 at 7:17 am

      Thank you Raul. I love your list as well. It seems you’re in good shape to have kids! 😉

  3. August 12, 2010 at 7:07 am

    Love your list! I also love the name of your blog, I can soo relate. Congrats on being Pressed!

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:18 am

      Thank you Christy. I am definitely more off balance than balanced. 😉

  4. August 12, 2010 at 7:07 am

    Lovely post. Children change the nature of a partnered relationship in a way nothing else can. We think we know what love is. We are wrong. I say thank goodness for that.

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:20 am

      Thank you. It looks like I need to read your blog to see what life has in store for me next!

  5. August 12, 2010 at 7:08 am

    Sweet. I think kids just add to happiness in life overall.

    Grtz on being freshly pressed!

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:25 am

      Thank you! I read your post! I am glad to see the kids back in school, but I am okay with more warm weather! 😉

  6. rhiella1expat
    August 12, 2010 at 7:08 am

    this is really lovely. Congratulations on your anniversary 🙂 x

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:31 am

      Thank you. As this is happening, my husband is joking that he arranged for me to be FP as an anniversary present. 😉

    • August 13, 2010 at 1:20 am

      I’m Canadian so I’m pretty much melting away in the warm weather. 😀
      My kids have another 2 weeks before school starts again, so I truly envy you!^^

  7. August 12, 2010 at 7:09 am

    very lovely! : )

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:33 am

      Thanks, if you read my post about my underwear isn’t sexy anymore, you’ll discover I desperately need your blog!

  8. August 12, 2010 at 7:09 am

    love the pic!

  9. August 12, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Congrats on your anniversary and FP! I love your blog and the mix of humor and poignancy. I also love the perspective of kids helping a marriage since there is so much out there saying how hard kids are on a marriage.

    • August 12, 2010 at 7:36 am

      Thank you my blog friend! As you know I have been following you blog for a few weeks now and it is one of my favorites!!!

  10. August 12, 2010 at 7:17 am

    Great post! Our little guy is still just a baby but I can’t wait to see how our family dynamic will change and grow as he gets older.

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:03 pm

      Thanks! You’re on an amazing journey that goes faster than you can imagine!

  11. August 12, 2010 at 7:23 am

    This is a wonderful list. I’m printing it out now to hang it on my wall.

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:04 pm

      Wow, thanks! I do that too. I have favorite quotes and matras taped to my computer screen.

  12. August 12, 2010 at 7:28 am


  13. August 12, 2010 at 7:30 am

    My counselor has a theory that a marriage needs children to survive. Even if they are spiritual or metaphorical children. The couple needs a collective reason to be together and something to work on that is beyond the other person, otherwise when they change (as everyone does over time) they will just drift apart. I don’t know if she’s right, but I may need to think up some metaphorical children cause I don’t want any real ones, but I do want to be married.


    • August 12, 2010 at 1:07 pm

      That’s an interesting thought Crystal. I do think marriages need a rallying point, and I don’t think it has to be kids. I have kidless friends who have amazing marriages – they just find a focus for their energy and a common goal to collaborate on.

  14. August 12, 2010 at 7:39 am

    What a fun list. Makes me want kids!

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:16 am

      Thanks! They are crazy, trying and wonderful!

  15. August 12, 2010 at 7:40 am

    I always admire parents, as the job is something I have consciously decided against in my lifetime. Your list is a great example of being a parent for the right reasons and what you’ve learned from the whole experience. For now, I’ll just keep living vicariously through my child-laden friends. Congratulations on your anniversary!

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:17 am

      Thank you! There are days I would like to live vicariously though my child-less friends. 😉

  16. SKM
    August 12, 2010 at 7:43 am

    Sweet post. I’ve been telling my husband that I miss him, even though we climb into bed together every night. It’s hard, though, to connect, when every time you open your mouth to speak, a small child interrupts. OTOH, it’s a bit “band of brothers”–my husband is the only one living through this with me, and we are united in our family struggles.

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:18 am

      Thanks. I read your post yesterday (was it yesterday? my days blend together) on airlines and loved your thoughtful questions!

  17. August 12, 2010 at 7:48 am

    Great post. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary earlier this year as well.Your post helped remind me that he is such an incredible husband and father. It’s good to appreciate those things that keeps our marriage together and strong.

  18. olgaivannikova
    August 12, 2010 at 7:55 am

    nice post 🙂

  19. August 12, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Wonderful post! 🙂

    As a mother of six, I totally agree with you. Kids do change a relationship. My husband and I feel our kids inspire us to stay active and to work hard. The way children see the world is way different than adults…and we like their world much more. They are forgiving and open to new ideas and experiences, plus the excitement children feel for each new day is certainly contagious. Other than teaching my teens how to drive…it’s all good!

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:24 am

      Thanks! I am going to need moral support when my little ones are ready to drive! I agree, seeing the wonderment through childrens’ eyes is one of the best parts of being a parent.

  20. August 12, 2010 at 8:01 am

    Beautiful Post.

    Thanks for the Reminder.
    There are times when the Going gets REALLY TOUGH…
    And it’s the “Little Things” around us that remind us WHY it’s worth it.

    God Bless

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:27 am

      Thank you. There are days I have to “choose to love” rather than feeling “in love” but those days past and the miracles of family reveal themselves.

  21. August 12, 2010 at 8:02 am

    Happy Anniversary Paige!

  22. August 12, 2010 at 8:05 am

    Congrats on your 10 anniversary!

    Interesting post and I have to agree with pretty much everything on that list.

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:28 am

      Thank you! I am sure everyone could edit the list and we all feel differently on different days. 😉

  23. August 12, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Loved the post, especially number 4. A quickie can be a lot of fun amd make you appreciate the times you get to be at it a little longer.

  24. August 12, 2010 at 8:08 am

    Me gusta mucho to lista, personalmente uno de los momentos que difruto con mi familia es la hora de la cena, donde hablamos de lo que paso durante el dia.

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:29 am

      I used Bing Translator – thanks you!

  25. Angelique
    August 12, 2010 at 8:16 am

    Great Blog! Very Cute!

  26. August 12, 2010 at 8:19 am

    Congratulations! Happy Tenth Anniversary!! May you have many more fulfilling ones come your way.

    I agree with your thoughts.

  27. August 12, 2010 at 8:21 am

    Beautiful post! I am a single mother of a toddler and looking for a man to be my partner in life as you describe your husband. They are few and far between! Sounds like you have an awesome family! May God bless you and forever unite you all in love. Happy Anniversary and congrats on being Freshly Pressed.

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:31 am

      You bring up a great point. I probably should have mentioned more about how lucky I am to have a great partner. Ten years wouldn’t have worked without him! I hope you find the right one. I believe that there is a perfect person for everybody!

  28. August 12, 2010 at 8:28 am

    I like seeing how your children strengthened your marriage, versus how often it is mentioned how children can “ruin” it.

    The world needs more love like this, 🙂 Happy Anniversary

    • August 12, 2010 at 8:33 am

      Thank you, I am getting a little teary-eyed at this point. I can’t imagine a more important post for me to get this much traffic and to help remind me on the hard days how lucky I am. My children and husband are the most important thing to me. There are days when I complain and poke fun. I am lucky you all saw me on my good day! 😉

  29. August 12, 2010 at 8:33 am

    #9 is one of my favorite things about being a mom. Congrats on 10 years of marriage!

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:09 pm

      Thank you – it is amazing to see them develop into fabulous mixes of mom and dad!

  30. August 12, 2010 at 8:39 am

    beautiful! I see our family in your words. just celebrated my 12 year anniversary + 2 kids. Our children complete our family and remind us every day of the commitment we have with each other and that inspires us to overcome life’s challenges. congratulations!

    • August 12, 2010 at 11:02 am

      Thank you Aleida. Children really do inspire us to be our best!

  31. August 12, 2010 at 8:48 am

    This is really positive. I’m glad to know your kids have such a positive mom =) Although, my inner child cringed at the sex part. I know my parents are people too, but still…eww….Lol =)

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:10 pm

      LOL! I am not always positive – hence the blog name slightly off balance, but I hope I am postive when it matters most! 😉

  32. Aaron Johnson
    August 12, 2010 at 8:52 am

    I have kids!

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:11 pm

      And you have a saint for a wife. That’s what makes your marriage work! xoxo AJ! You out did my husband, he has never posted a comment! 😉

  33. August 12, 2010 at 8:54 am

    I loved this post, too, and I love your blog! I really enjoy your perspective and humor.

    I can certainly relate to all the items in this list!

    Congrats on your anniversary and being freshly pressed, too!

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:11 pm

      Thank you! As you know, I am fan of yours too!

  34. Cheryl
    August 12, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Ok, so I keep reading about you being freshly pressed and all I can think is that it has something to do with #4 on your list??? Not being a writer, my second guess is that someone is publishing you… or your blog will live on? Happy Anniversary! 10 years is an amazing milestone. 10 happy ones just means you are blessed beyond words.

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:13 pm

      Thank you Cheryl. Freshly Pressed means the editors of WordPress (who host my blog and several hundred thousand other blogs) decided to feature my blog among about 11 others on their home page this morning. But we should giggle about your idea as it relates to number four over a mojito! xoxo

  35. sunshinensnow
    August 12, 2010 at 8:56 am

    WOW! I thought I would read a list of gooey things and that was not at all the case! I love your list and they are all true. Thank you.

    • August 12, 2010 at 1:14 pm

      Glad I didn’t hit you with too much sugar, I am part gooey, part sarcastic and all crazy! 😉

  36. lifeincolors
    August 12, 2010 at 9:02 am

    I absolutely LOVE this!! Thank you for adding an extra smile to my face!

  37. Ahna Rebekah Hendrix
    August 12, 2010 at 9:31 am

    What a cool post!

    For a single woman like myself who mostly says she doesn’t want to have children ~ this is a great list to make me question my decision 🙂

    Happy Anniversary and congrats on the ten year mark!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm

      Thank you! I think there are lots of things that can strengthen the bond of marriage, kids is one of the choices, but it’s a choice I am personally grateful for everyday!

  38. rivkachka
    August 12, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Congrats on your anniversary and on FP! There’s an old Jewish saying that before kids you have rest, but no joy, and that after you have kids, you have joy, but no rest! In your list you have captured so many of the things about parenting which increase the joy in our lives. It’s a great reminder and inspiration to all of us parents (and pre-parents, too!)!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      Thank you. I love that saying, it is so true!!! I am perpetually exhausted, but usually happy. 😉

  39. August 12, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Happy Anniversary!

    What a great list and may be need to be printed out and put on the fridge! I am not sure if it will be the same for you, but it has been the experience of me and my friends that so much of the “business” of the marriage occurs during the 10+ years. You are taking care of a family, making ends meet and trying to find a little time to remember who you are – sometimes the intial reason for the marriage can slip. Being able to look at my children and see the living, breathing examples of our love helps me remember why I married him when I cannot remember the last time we spent two minutes together 🙂

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:33 pm

      You said that perfectly! There are days, weeks and months go by that I take my husband for granted, but I always find my way back to appreciation. Oddly, I have found that through blogging and reading other blogs, I have stayed more focused on the things that matter most!

  40. squirrelsloveacorns
    August 12, 2010 at 9:31 am

    I really enjoyed this article, thank you so much for posting it!

  41. August 12, 2010 at 9:33 am

    I love this. You are very positive in your approach to child rearing and family and that is admirable. From one mother to another.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:34 pm

      I have said that a compliment from another mother is as good as it gets. Mothers know the struggles and the joys. Thank you for your kind words and I am glad you found me on a postive day! 😉

  42. August 12, 2010 at 9:37 am

    Simple truth – I love it;) congrats on 10 years of marriage!!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:35 pm

      Thank you, as you know there is nothing simple about marriage, but it’s worth it!

  43. August 12, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Oh My gosh!!! I can so so relate to your post and to your blog!!!! It’s a good thing to realize that I’m human after all! Funny how I too miss my husband so much and we live in the same house and I never want to talk about it because I’m affraid some people think I’m a crazy woman who jealous of my own child! Your post show that I’m not crazy and it is happening to other people as well.
    THANK YOU!!!!!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:37 pm

      No, thank you. I have referenced your comment several times today. I am always amazed at how all mom’s have the same feelings, yet we always feel like we’re the only crazy ones. It’s the ones that seem normal that you should wonder about! 😉

  44. August 12, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Btw… (too excited about your post) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Many more to come!! 🙂

  45. August 12, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Nice list and so true. I’ve been married for 8 years and we now have a two year old. It is awesome to see you husband, lover and best friend prove themselves to be brilliant dads too! Congrats and here’s to many more

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:38 pm

      Congrtulations on 8 years. Who would have thought that we could love our husbands more than the day we got married?!

  46. August 12, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Congratulations on 10 years. I feel the same way about my husband (and kids!) after 22! Every day is a gift!

  47. August 12, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Saw your response about needing moral support when the kids are ready to drive…Precisely what my blog is about! Sooo many blogs for Moms with babies, and nothing out there for we moms navigating the teen years…I forsee my blog following a somewhat biblical format, beginning with Lamentations, occasional ruminations on ‘genesis’ (how it all started) and hopefully ending with Exodus. If not, there’s always the Revelations and the Apocolypse. 🙂

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:42 pm

      I am so glad to “meet you” as I think you’re blog is going to come in very hand for me! I am one of those people that likes to know what is coming next so I need insight on the teenage years. 😉 I have subscribed and will be adding you to my blogroll.

  48. August 12, 2010 at 10:38 am

    “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”- that is all I can say. This is a very sweet and honest post! Congrats on the 10th year and being on FP.Reading this post makes me want to get marry ( too early though). Say hi to the kids and your hubby:) * hugs*

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:42 pm

      Thank you. I promise it’s not all sweetness and love, but the bottomline is Awwwww. 😉

  49. August 12, 2010 at 10:40 am

    I’ve always said that children are the best entertainment…well I really used to say that they were free entertainment but us mom’s know all too well that is not true. My hubs and I went to Lowe’s to pick up supplies for the house, one thing on our list was a sliding lock for the back door. G’kids are coming soon and I don’t sleep well with toddlers in the house and the pool out back. They have been known to roam. When I picked out the pretty shiny brass lock my husband asks; “is that for our bedroom door?”
    His humor has kept our marriage alive for many years, but you are so right about those precious children they are the glue. Now with grandkids in the mix, life is indeed wonderful.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:44 pm

      I can only imagine how the grandkids add another wonderful layer to the bond. I love his humor about the lock, but seriously, I think I should make a trip to Lowes! 😉

  50. August 12, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Love this post, and can see how kids can keep you from taking life too seriously. I don’t have any kids myself, but I know whenever I hang out with children, I find myself laughing more, telling silly jokes, etc. etc… there’s just a lightness to it all. Thanks for sharing.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:44 pm

      Thank you. Lightness is the perfetc word to describe it!

  51. Janice Doty
    August 12, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Wonderful and refreshing post! I love reflective pieces as they help me to see the whole picture in my own life. I look forward to following your posts!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:45 pm

      Thank you Janice! Writing helps me see the big picture and keep my priorities in check!

  52. August 12, 2010 at 11:51 am

    Great post. I don’t have children yet, I’m 23, but oddly enough reading this posting I visually pictured how having children could in fact make a marriage that much stronger. I’ve seen some marriages with tons of problems and on the brink of divorce, and yet it was their children that provided that thread, that was just enough to keep them together. It was their children that helped break the ice, led them to crack a smile and laugh together, and to even plan to have more. By the way nice blog title.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:49 pm

      Children are tough, I don’t think they can save a doomed marriage, but you’re right they can be the thread that pulls it back together. I am fortunate that I took the time to build the foundation of my marriage before I embarked on the kid roller coaster, I think that made it easier for me. 😉

  53. August 12, 2010 at 11:57 am

    We always hear about children tearing marriages apart–sometimes we forget that the other way around is possible too. Great post!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:51 pm

      Thanks. It’s sad that there are failed marriages blamed on having kids and I feel very fortunate to have the opposite perspective and have found readers that agree.

  54. Aimee
    August 12, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you for putting it into words. You absolutely made my day. Now I can’t wait until the end of the day when we all sit down together as a family for dinner.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:53 pm

      Aimee – I love what you said about dinner. It’s the one sacred time of day in our house. We sit down as a family, no TV, no cell phones (still training my husband on this one) nad connect. Althouh tonight, I will be dressing up and heading out to celebrate with my husband. 😉

  55. August 12, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    🙂 It is good to see a post about how wonderful kids, husbands, and family can be. Happy anniversary.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:54 pm

      Thank you. I can’t promise that if you keep reading you won’t see a post about how rotten they can be too ;), but yes, I feel blessed.

  56. August 12, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Thank you for your list, I’ll keep it in my files !! Can’t wait to have kids and realize all theses beautiful things that having childrens is not only a bullet in our too serious Adult lifes.

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:54 pm

      I promise that when you have kids, your serious adult life will be forever altered! 🙂

  57. August 12, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    I like this!

  58. August 12, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Fantastic and refreshing list. I could feel myself nodding in agreement to each one of your reasons. Thanks for the uplifting moment today. Happy Anniversary!

    • August 12, 2010 at 2:57 pm

      Imagine the return on “uplifting” I have received today from all of the wonderful people, such as yourself, who have commented! Thank you!!

  59. August 12, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Those are really great points…Thanks for the list!…Jason

    • August 12, 2010 at 3:00 pm

      Thanks Jason! I took a look at your blog and feel like I should add #11:

      Kids provide justification that our spouses also make good drinking buddies at the end of a stressful day! 😉

  60. August 12, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    That’s a very interesting topic, I love those 10 things you listed because they made me believe that being a working mother and balancing my personal and professional life isn’t as impossible and hard as I thought..Congratulations on your anniversary and on being freshly pressed!

    • August 12, 2010 at 3:04 pm

      Yasmine – it is hard as hell to juggle! Some days I do it gracefully and some days I am a trainwreck, but I am grateful for the opportunity and reap the rewards everyday! I loved your post about the nouveau riche (and I do remember that part in Titanic).

  61. August 12, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    So true! Nurturing a marriage while being pushed and pulled by little hands/feet can be challenging but so rewarding as you pointed out.

  62. August 12, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Congrats on your anniversary. Thanks for sharing your story, it was indeed inspiring and brought me back a few years.

    Hubby and I celebrated our 22nd this year and though our 2 sons are now grown up and gone, they have certainly filled our lives. I sometimes wish they were still babies so i could hold them again. But seeing them as they are now reminds me how much and how far we’ve come together.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:45 am

      22 years – congratulations! What’s the secret for surviving the transition of them leaving the nest?

  63. August 12, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Kids can be a lot of fun and can definitely lighten up a moment when you need it to be lightened up. I’m glad you could reflect and see that besides driving you insane at times, it’s great to have them. Thank you for sharing!

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:46 am

      Thank you for your comments. Kids are pure light – when they are not being hellions 😉

  64. rowena
    August 12, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Happy 10th year anniversary, CONGRATULATIONS! You look very gorgeous and really happy, I’m so HAPPY for YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! Wish to see your family picture soon.

    While I’m reading your story and lists I am so touched because I thought it was me everything you said… I felt the same way specially when you said that your husband is a Disney Dad and you the Enforcer.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:47 am

      Thanks! There will definitely be posts coming on Disney Dad… 🙂

  65. bearlover
    August 12, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    This warrented reposting. Congrats on the FP! You deserve it.
    If you have stumbled upon this blog on accident, it’s your lucky day. If you have been invited here, you have come because you know the value of wisdom. As wives, mothers, bosses, and as women we all have wisdom and insight to give away. Some of us focus on gaining it, while others focus on sharing it.
    My friend Paige is a perfect example of someone whose wisdom and insight I respect and rely upon. She really does live her life with a sense of balance that I revere…no… actually envy. And she does it without judgment or pretense. I’ve seen her plate…and it is pretty full. So we should be grateful that she has made room between the peas and mashed potatoes to share life with us.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:52 am

      My life would not be as rich, my roller coaster would have more drops and my joy would not bubble over without cherished friends like you! I am putting it in writing: it is my goal, (not strong enough), my quest, to find a way to share your wit, charm and insanity with a world that needs you so badly.

  66. August 12, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    Just read this out of curiousity and stumbled on a goldmine. Love the story, even if I’ve been married just 3 years and it’s been tough with different work schedules, raising our son has been one of the many joys in both me and my wife’s life. More power to you.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:53 am

      Thank you Joey. there is so much that tests us everyday, but it makes the rewards sweeter.

  67. fool #2
    August 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    amen sista! I love #s 6 and 7. I’m always amazed when I see myself or my husband in our kids looks, smiles and personalities. It does make you realize why you love them and help you love yourself. Happy 10 years and I wish you many more.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:54 am

      Thank you! “Help you love yourself”, beautifully said!

  68. August 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    What a great post. Happy tenth. We just celebrated our 34th (August 4th). We have six kids, (30 to 14), the two youngest still at home. Grand children (3) add to our enjoyment.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:56 am

      Congratulations on 34 years Ivan! One of my dearest friends is also August 4th – in my mind, it’s a magical day! Thank you for your comment. I am not ready yet, but am excited for the grandparent stage – lots of love, with more sleep! 😉

  69. August 12, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Congrats! and wishing you many more years of happiness.

    • August 13, 2010 at 8:56 am

      Thank you so much and thanks for reading!

  70. August 12, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Love the list, My kids sometimes help me talk when I was having a fight with my husband, and that way make us solve our problem faster just cause they were so cute communicator.

  71. Richard Lerner
    August 12, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    You are either happily self-deluding or extremely unusual. Children degrade marriages. They may keep couples together more than any other reason, but they don’t improve communication, give adults opportunity for sharing of time or ideas (or love, or bodily fluids), allow for the adequate rest to do things with full attention, understand when parents need time together without them, etc.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything in the world, and that may be part of the problem–they get unconditional love, and my wife doesn’t. And I’m really happy for you, but you are living in a different world than the rest of us. The conventional wisdom here is true: marriages are better without the demands of parenting.

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:13 am

      Richard – thank you. Your post has stuck with me the most. I shared it with my husband at dinner last night. I think it comes down to perspective. I truly believe I can choose my perspective and response to life. As I said in my post today (where I mentioned your comment) not every day is magic and love, I break under pressure, I yearn for more adult time but I make choices. I chose to have kids and I choose to focus on the positive.

      We did a couples counseling weekend before we got married and they said you will not be in love with your partner through your whole marriage, somedays you will have to use your resolve and choose to love. I choose to love on the tough days and I know that life is full of ups and downs. I use the ups to get me through the downs. I am confident that this is one chapter in my life and other chapters will be different. My kids will go off to college and I will have more time with my husband.

      I believe that my marriage is strengthened by weathering the rocky periods. I look back on the ten years and they haven’t all been as good as this one and I know there will be rough years in the future, but I’d rather be tested and pass than keep my marriage in a bubble. It’s a lot of work being married in “my world” but I am happier for it.

      I wish your family much love and happiness. Thank you again for your honest comments.

  72. August 12, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Must be a beautiful family 🙂

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:13 am

      Thank you. Every family is beautiful with ugly moments, don’t you think?

  73. ’પ્રમથ’
    August 12, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Touched by the truth in the post!
    Children are the strongest glue that keeps the family together and focused.
    They have inexhaustible list of challenges to offer to parents – and similarly inexhaustible list of blessings too.

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:15 am

      Yes! The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward!

  74. August 12, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    Very nice.

  75. August 12, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Wow! so lovable, so romantic more than that.. so practical! I love this post.!

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:21 am

      Thank you! Life should be a combination of romantic and practical!

  76. shecypearljewelry
    August 12, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    having children is so great!can you post your children’s pics at here,I donnot think I will not appreciate them!Happy anniversary !

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:35 am

      Thank you. I made a decision a few weeks ago not to post recognizable pictures of my children, call it the mama bear part of me. 🙂

  77. August 12, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    It’s a great essay.

  78. evalinamontez
    August 12, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    my husband and I are in an LDR. Just reading your entry makes me feel like having kids already! Thanks for the message of “not giving up, even when the going gets tough…” kudos to you Paige!

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:56 am

      Thanks, I would say, wait until you’re in the same place. I lose my mind when my husband is on a business trip! 😉

  79. August 13, 2010 at 1:38 am

    Paige, that was a great post. I like your list, though I’d like to believe that all lives are only as complicated, yet simple enough as yours, to see the beauty of life.

    My son provides the purpose, to put up with most things in life, including my marriage. I’ve gotten stronger, tougher and more optimistic because of him, despite the many challenges of being in a love-less marriage.

    And congratulations on your anniversary! Wish you a great life ahead.

    • August 13, 2010 at 9:59 am

      I am honest, but I do not consider myself wise. I wouldn’t know how to handle a loveless marriage. I have dealt with times when I don’t feel “in love” but the seed of love is still there. Every life has challenges and the cimplicity of it comes from how to deal with it. It sounds like you have found a way to live your life, but I do wish you happiness and love!

  80. August 13, 2010 at 2:44 am

    First of all, I must applaud you for your deep and elegant thinking and sharing…
    And I can’t help but say, nice ally…. That movie character does fit your writing pattern…. Respect, and peace out…

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:01 am

      Thank you, are you referring to the picture of June Cleaver in another one of my posts? I have nothing on here, I am crazy and rarely put together. 😉

  81. August 13, 2010 at 2:57 am

    This was great – #4 had me giggling like a kid! Because who would have thought of it that way? It’s usually something that annoys people.

    I don’t often randomly comment but I enjoyed this so much I had to – it’s inspiring and funny and reminds you that taking things too seriously is soul-sucking.

    Thank you!

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:02 am

      Thank you so much for commenting, especially when you usually don’t. I have to laugh at life or it will get the best of me!

      • August 13, 2010 at 10:40 am

        I totally forgot to say congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed! That happened to us in July and it was amazing.

        I went back reading past entries (I got sucked in), and blog-rolled you because I will definitely come back here regularly. Also, just a suggestion – do you think you could add an archives widget? It’ll help navigating through your past entries.

        Congratulations again!

      • August 13, 2010 at 11:16 am

        Thank you! I am still new to blogging, and I appreciate the suggestion on the archive widget, I’ll do it!

  82. offeringmyownconfusion
    August 13, 2010 at 5:07 am

    I love your list, and I too fall in love with my husband all over again because he is a great dad. Dare I say it, one of the best?! Truth be told, times we are not clicking, it really is the silliness of the kids that makes us realize we are taking ourselves too seriously and to lighten up. I also am the enforcer, but having all sons, maybe that’ll make my boys love a strong woman some day 😀

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:03 am

      I agree! I have had those tense moments where I wanted to kill my husband or kids or both and then one of the kids does something silly and it all melts away! We are lucky!

  83. ddaloia
    August 13, 2010 at 6:02 am

    Congratulations on your anniversary and being freshly pressed. We celebrated our 19th this year with our 14 yr daughter and 12 yr twin sons. I enjoy reading other moms blogs. You’re welcome to visit mine.. if you ever have a free moment; “Mia Familia” ddaloia@wordpress.com

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:07 am

      I tried to check out your blog, but couldn’t find it in a search and it looks like you gave me your email address instead of your blog url. If you send me the link, I will definitely take a look.

  84. August 13, 2010 at 6:30 am

    Congrats on your anniversary and freshly pressed! Love the list, my heart melted 🙂

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:14 am

      Thank you and I am enjoying your blog as well!

  85. August 13, 2010 at 7:24 am

    First, Congratulations!
    Second, your post is most appreciated and inspirational. Coming up on my 4th year anniversary and with one child, reading your thoughts on children and marriage truly gives me a new perspective. Thank you.

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:15 am

      Thank you and congratulations on 4 years!

  86. August 13, 2010 at 8:21 am

    I liked your blog.
    congratulations on your 10 anniversary.

  87. August 13, 2010 at 11:51 am

    Hi again

    there is no secret for surviving the transition. Praying that God will guide their steps each day is all one can do. It was hard and still is. Our oldest is in Ontario. I miss him to bits. Thank God for technology which helps us to stay connected more often.

    Our youngest lives 5 minutes down the road and we see him very often despite our busy schedules. That alone, compensates “some” in not seeing the oldest one (if that makes any sense).



  88. August 13, 2010 at 11:59 am

    Richard Lerner :You are either happily self-deluding or extremely unusual. Children degrade marriages. They may keep couples together more than any other reason, but they don’t improve communication, give adults opportunity for sharing of time or ideas (or love, or bodily fluids), allow for the adequate rest to do things with full attention, understand when parents need time together without them, etc.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything in the world, and that may be part of the problem–they get unconditional love, and my wife doesn’t. And I’m really happy for you, but you are living in a different world than the rest of us. The conventional wisdom here is true: marriages are better without the demands of parenting.

    Hi Richard,
    I dont know how old your children are. But I have to say I live in the same world as Paige, and I wouldnt change a thing about it.

    My husband raised my two children (now 28 and 31) from my first marriage. When they left the nest, our parenting job was not finished, but it changed from when they were home. Yes we both loved the boys unconditionally, and still do, as you said about yours, but now, it’s like we’re back on our honeymoom.

    We’ll always be parents, but now we a couple’s life more than we could when they were home.



  89. August 13, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Nice read and congrats on your anniversary! Keep those lists coming! LB

  90. michvayn
    August 14, 2010 at 11:45 am

    congrats on the ten years:)

  91. August 14, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Great Post! How true it is, our kids needs proper guidance specially during their toddler years. These are the most crucial moments of a child.

  92. August 15, 2010 at 3:59 am

    Love the sex on and can totally relate!! Congrats on your anniversary and so glad you guys get out with your kids! So important

  93. Hanna Maze
    August 15, 2010 at 8:40 am

    This is wonderful. Love it thank you so much!!!!

  94. August 15, 2010 at 8:55 am

    I dont have kids yet,but I can feel how you would be feeling.One of my friend has only one kid,but running after the kid,and listening to their tantrums,helps her get into a deep sleep at any time of the day.Hahahah..
    Wish you happy,healthy and prosperous life with your family!

  95. Notes from the Porch
    August 15, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    So enjoyed your blog!

  96. August 16, 2010 at 8:42 am

    Happy anniversary! I loved your post and can relate to it on so many levels having 2 boys and just celebrated our 10th as well. I’m happy to have discovered your blog.

    • August 16, 2010 at 9:40 am

      Thank you! I looked at your blog and loved it. My friends joke with me that I am too old to eat Ramen and I only learned to cook when my husband started traveling. I am now fairly competent, but it was a journey! 😉

  97. August 17, 2010 at 7:36 am

    Happy Anniversary! My husband and I celebrated 10 years in June. We have three children, so this post was wonderfully relevant. 🙂

  98. August 20, 2010 at 6:03 am

    I love everything you have said especially the 5th one about how children keeps us from taking life too seriously. I was reminded of a poem that i had read Titled Imagine. It talks about how worry free a children can be and how happy all endings are in their worlds. I could say that children are gift to help us enjoy our married life even amidst troubles.

  1. August 19, 2010 at 5:44 am

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