Home > Confessions, Humor, Lists, Parenting > My Underwear Isn’t Always Sexy…

My Underwear Isn’t Always Sexy…

and 9 other things that have changed since becoming a mom.

Kids change your life – that will not surprise anyone.  They unequivocably impact it for the better.  Their unconditional love, wonderment and laughter are gifts to any parent.  However, there are few changes in my life that are less desirable. After being a mother for six years, I do not notice the changes very often, but when you notice one, the others become apparent as well.

For me it started with getting dressed this morning.  Since I am not still not feeling well, I was looking for something comfy to put on.  I reached in the underwear drawer and pulled out a pair that screamed comfort – blue cotton ‘full-butt’.  Without thinking I started to cut the fraying elastic band pieces before putting them on.  I laughed and thought, ‘oh yeah, my husband bought me new underwear for Christmas and told me to THROW THESE OUT’!  So of course, I put them on.  The thing is, I don’t wear sexy underwear everyday anymore because comfort and function are more important and, newsflash, I don’t have sex everyday anymore.  Hmm, not every week either…  This got me to thinking about a few more changes:

  • I don’t buy nice furniture.  The day I had kids was the day I stopped spending money on furniture they would destroy.  When they are older, I will replace the battle weary stuff, but for now, I don’t want to stress over them using the dining room table as a percussion section.
  • I think twice about hangovers.  Going out on a Saturday night is all fun and games until you have a 3-year-old and 6-year-old that want to have a 7:00 am dance party!
  • I shop at Marshalls, Ross and the like.  I was a Nordstrom girl before kids and now I just want what’s cheap, especially for my stain attracting kids.  My son is the oldest and he had a bunch of Ralph Lauren baby clothes, now he gets Costco and sometimes Wal-Mart.
  • I shower at odd hours.  I always sleep until at least my kids wake me up (sometime longer thanks to my sweet husband) so I usually have to jump and go into mom or work mode.  I try to be showered by 2:00 pm everyday…
  • I look for the “clean version” on i-tunes.  Once you have been asked, “Mommy, what’s a hoe?”, you realize it’s time to edit the playlists!
  • Date nights come dangerously close to urban myth.  Not only do you have to get a sitter, etc, you have to not be exhausted from working and parenting to enjoy said date night.  The showering and underwear issues have to be taken into account…
  • You start to belive in conspiracy theories.  For example, I am positive that my kids strategize at night to determine who will wake me and my husband up at what time during the night.  They have a beautifully orchestrated plan that gets us up every two hours, yet they pull 10 hours of sleep per night.
  • You feel like you’re having sex in your parents house. You never know when a little one is going to come in your room, even if you think they’re sound asleep.  Everyone gets signed up for therapy when you hear “Daddy, are you hurting mommy?”

How has your life changed?

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  1. August 6, 2010 at 7:34 am

    Ha! Great list! There is something very comforting about underwear that holds everything in~ (And, you’re right about the conspiracy theory — the kids are ALWAYS plotting…)

  2. August 6, 2010 at 9:03 am

    Great list! I especially relate to shopping at Marshall’s, Ross etc. I took my first trip into Ross to find maternity clothes and haven’t bought anything for myself over $24 since… sigh.

  3. sandysays1
    August 6, 2010 at 9:12 am

    What a great post! Love your SOH. My Human read it and said that list will change as you get older. (Between his chuckles.) He’s 10 days older than dirt so he probably knows. WE BOTH AGREE WE FOUND SOMEONE WHO WRITES SOMETHING WORTH TAKING THE TIME TO READ! Ahhh! Do you think sexy underwear would help me with the German Sheperd down the street? If so, I might want to borrow a pair. Woof, woof.
    Sandy
    http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com

  4. August 9, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Sandy-

    Thanks to you and your human for the comment. I read it then struggled with how to reply from my Blackberry! 🙂 You were the topic of conversation this weekend, as you are my first dog reader! 😉

    • sandysays1
      August 10, 2010 at 2:38 pm

      Glad you enjoyed my arfing. Come visit me some time.

  5. August 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Wow.. reality check indeed!

  1. December 6, 2010 at 6:10 am

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