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I Quit
No, I am not announcing my intention to quit blogging. After a 2+ year unannounced sabbatical, that would just be silly. And anti-climatic. And a short-post.
But there are several things I am thinking about quitting (or not quitting) and I promised a friend that I would stop blogging in my head, so this post is for her!
Things I Am Quitting
- Wearing workout clothes – I rarely workout these days, pajamas make more sense, but I will change them in the morning… sometimes.
- Dieting – Life is stressful, food helps. If I diet I will be more cranky and crazy than I am now. That’s not good for anyone.
- Exercising – If I am in my pajamas and busy eating, how could I possibly workout?
- Playdates – Because my definition of playdate is sending the kids out the door in hopes that they find a neighbor. Because I suck at scheduling them and then feel guilty. The only exception is when someone asks for my help (which I am truly happy to do) or my kids plan one while I am standing there (very effective and requires less back and forth texting). I may wear a short to school that says “I am happy to have your kids over. Put them in my car instead of waiting for me to offer” (good thing I am stopping the diet and exercise, that’s a lot for one shirt).
- Saying tomorrow is a new day – tomorrow will be a list of things I should have done today in addition to tomorrow’s to-dos. Tomorrow will taunt me and make me miss today. Tomorrow is a jerk.
- Pretending I know how to juggle. If I do one thing in my life well, the others suffer. I don’t know how to balance it and be sane, which leads me to…
- Sanity – it is over-rated and so damn hard to achieve.
Things I Am Not Quitting
- Self-deprecating humor – If I say it before someone else it doesn’t hurt so bad. Especially useful at work, where I do a ‘Daily F*&% Ups Recap’. With so much on my plate, things are starting to fray like a bad pair of 80’s denim cut-offs
- Drinking – Wine and Vodka (no not mixed together… usually…) keeps the men with the nice white coat from putting me in the nice padded room.
- Wishing I could write more – Because it’s healthier than wine and vodka.
- Remembering that many people are chasing that elusive balance. Balance is like an Elvis sighting, they happen from time to time, but aren’t believable.
- My job –
Because it fulfills meit pays the bills. As soon as I find the money tree in my backyard, I will have a whole new blog. For now, I just have a lot of holes in my backyard – watch your step. - Swearing – It’s cathartic.
- Friends – I have a 60+hour per week job and 2 kids in school and sports. I only have help four hours per week. I don’t see any of my amazing friends as much as I’d like, but knowing they exist is much better than imaginary friends.
- My husband and kids – the three most amazing blessings God could give me. They make everything worth it (although often contribute to my insanity)
- Recognizing the humor in life’s challenges. I can’t commit to laughing, but I will observe said humor with a smug look on my face.
What are you quitting or not quitting?
I Believe in Vampires Because of My Kids
First, a confession. I have told you in the past that I have seen the Twilight movies, but I love Twilight, Sookie Stackhouse and True Blood, Black Dagger Brotherhood and The Gates. To make this statement requires me to swallow my pride. When Twilight fist came out, I teased my friends for reading teeny-bopper books. I told them I am not into vampires. Then I read Twilight and was hooked on the series. But I maintained that it was just those books and I would not read any other vamp books… Well, clearly, I ate those words.
As I was watching True Blood last night, it occurred to me that my children have all the same powers as vampires, so I can only surmise that vampires do exist. Here’s the “proof”:
- Vampires defy gravity with their jumping and sometimes flying abilities – My son scaled the dressing room wall at Target Saturday to retrieve a toy I took away from him. He regularly climbs door jams and other objects for sport.
- Vampires suck the life out of you by sucking your blood – My children have one up on the vamps here – they can suck the life out of me without even leaving a puncture mark.
- Vampires keep odd hours, awake at night and sleeping during the day– My children enjoy keeping me awake at night and then recharging their batteries during the day, while I struggle through work sleepless.
- Vampires can glamour you to erase unwanted memories– Vampires have to learn this trick. My kids started erasing my unpleasant memories the day they were born. 6 hours of labor while waiting for an epidural – that must be a rumor, I don’t remember that. When they have been naughty or unruly, they simply come up, snuggle me and whisper I love you in their cutest voice and I am putty in their little supernatural hands.
So yes, I believe in vampires now, but I am not afraid of them. I know a vampire is no match for my kids!
Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 