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10 Lessons from a Girls Weekend
The following lessons may or may not have come from actual or alleged events. You can’t prove these things happened. I destroyed the pictures. Enjoy the lessons and take them to heart!
- There are three slots on an ATM – the one you put the card in, the one you get a receipt from and the one that dispenses the money. These slots are not interchangeable.
- When a friend gives you directions to a bar four times, it is time to pick that friend up from said bar.
- When attempting to rent a stack of chick flicks, it is easier to ask how to open a rental account than to guess other people’s’ account information.
- Short bar patrons are not souvenirs. Even if she is 4′ 10″ one should not try to put her in their pocket.
- Yoga on patio cushions is dangerous.
- There is a brief window where karaoke sounds good: after listeners have had enough to drink to miss the mistakes, but before the singers have had too much to drink and sit down on stage.
- If you’re going to get on your hands and knees to bow to your new friend at the bar because she has six kids and multiple grandchildren, wash your hands afterwards.
- Playing ‘hide the car’ while a friend is in a store, never becomes
matureold. - If eye flirting with a guy at the other end of the bar doesn’t create a love connection, throwing ice at him probably won’t either.
- There is a fine line between a classy woman and a two scoops of crazy one.
They are rather confusing...
Thank You to My Parenting Village
When it comes to parenting, they (whoever ‘they’ are) say “it takes a village”. I whole-heartedly believe this is true. As a working-mom, I rely on my village to make it all happen. Carpools, playdates, meal swaps – my village works together to make sure our kids are dropped off, picked up, fed, have presents for parties and uniforms for games.
But not just working parents need the village. Stay-at-home moms and dads need the village too. They need a break from their precious darlings or they need back-up when they have four kids playing two sports each with games in different parts of the state. Bottom line, all parents need a village.
What’s amazing about my village is how efficient it is, how seamlessly our villagers work to ensure the best for every child. The other day, my son was standing in front of the school waiting to be picked up. In the mere minutes that he waited, two of my friends checked to see if he had a ride. They talked to the mother picking him up to make sure he was taken care of. My son was not crying, he did not look distressed, but my friends in my village know the routine and they saw him in front a minute past when he normally is out there. They made sure he was accounted for.
Having a village full of aware, considerate friends is more valuable than a job, a pay check or any other material thing. My village watches out for my kids, shares tips and advice and picks me up on the low days we all have as parents. We celebrate as a village too. Lost teeth, passing the big test, learning to ride a bike; we rejoice as a village, thus making every celebration more monumental for our children. The village, and the people of my village are amazing, unique and keep me balanced.
Thank you to my wonderful village, you make my heart full and my worries less.
What do you want to thank your village for?
My Son Has Hallmark Beat
Yesterday was my birthday. When my husband woke up at 6:30 am to make me breakfast (I am a lucky girl), he found my six-year old son already awake, working hard on this:
It read:
“Dear mom, the hole family loves you, but the best part about you is eavin you loves yourself. You ceap M and I rilly safe in this house and we all love you, nomter what.”
“Happy Birthday MOM!”
“MOM you are a star.”
I love everything about this card, especially:
- The spontaneity, he did this on his own, without suggestion. He couldn’t sleep because he was excited to write it
- The fact that he values loving yourself. If I helped instilled that in him, I am thrilled.
- At an age where we discuss strangers, bad guys and monsters under the bed, he feels safe in his home.
- The statement, ‘I love you no matter what’ has stuck with him. I tell him this after I have to discipline him. It warms my heart that he heard me.
My son loves to write. He writes stories and illustrates them on his own. I love that he has a passion for writing.
I am humbled and touched that he so beautifully captured what I am trying to teach him. Knowing that my parenting efforts are reaching him is the best birthday present I could receive.
What’s the best birthday present you have received?
Mechanical Bulls, Mullets and Friends
This last weekend, after having sushi with friends, we decided to go the Saloon in town. I love saying this, because I am hoping it conjures up images of me living in Texas and wearing some sassy boots. I really do live in the suburbs, but we do have a saloon with a mechanical bull.
After running up a bill that was more Sapporo than sushi (and it was a lot of sushi), we headed over to the Saloon. As some of you may know, I am all for an adventure. Before we even left the parking lot of the sushi restaurant, my husband was making me swear I would not ride the mechanical bull. We were placing bets in the parking lot on who would ride and my husband kept reminding me that I am already a frequent visitor to the chiropractor and a bull ride would not help. I do not think it is appropriate to bring up my aging, frail body on my birthday.
Upon arriving, I felt like the bull was calling my name, my friends were trying to talk me into it and my husband was giving me the look of, ‘I will not give you sympathy or pay for the massages’. We decided two other friends would ride, but I would at least get on for a picture. Only I couldn’t even get on by myself. Maybe it was the Sapporo or the high-heeled boots, or the Sapporo, but it took the help of a friend to even get me on – it was clear riding would not go any better. Rather I was a passionate spectator.
The only thing that could steal my attention was the 80’s band setting up. One of the guys had a mullet and the female lead definitely rocked the 80’s – hard! I was instantly enamored! I was the first one on the dance floor – inappropriately early. I drug my tolerant friends and two perfect strangers out with me. Is there anything better than listening to an 80’s band in a Saloon, with fantastic, indulgent friends?
Well yes, let me suggest some improvements:
- They didn’t know any Bon Jovi songs. There should be a law that states that if you have a mullet, you know Bon Jovi songs.
- I am too old to dance with such enthusiasm (think hamming it up – combination swing dancing and jazzercise) in high-heeled boots. My shins, calves and ankles are still recovering. I should have taken the boots off earlier.
- If you can’t remember how many beers you had at dinner, don’t drink seven captain and diets at the saloon, even if you are making up for Lent.
- When everyone wants to leave, do not explain to your husband that the two nice women you met on the dance floor can bring you home later.
- We should have used a camera that didn’t create the devil eyes, but it’s almost fitting because I felt like the devil had strapped me to a mechanical bull and done his worst the next morning…
Yes, my friend in the picture had to help me up AND hold me up, I would have surely fallen off the back!
5 Reasons This Is A Great Weekend
It is only Saturday morning, oh… wait… wow, it’s noon?! How long have I been on this computer?!
Anyways, it is only Saturday at noon and I have already proclaimed this a great weekend. Despite the rain (I am a sun girl) and the fact that I was awake from 4:00 am to 7:00 am, it is still a great weekend!
- Wine and cookies!: Yesterday was the Feast of the Annunciation which means a church sanctioned break from Lent! I didn’t know about this ahead of time, but at 6:00 last night I got a text from a Lenten authority who told me I could drink wine. Within a minute (no joke) I was sipping a glass of wine. I followed that up with cookies – both freshly baked and the Girl Scout variety! Bliss!
- A schedule free day!: The only reason I could lose track of time today is that today is a rare Saturday where we don’t have kids sports (thanks to the rain), birthday parties or pressing errands. I am in my jammies, reading, writing and enjoying some leisure time.
- My kids: With less rushing around, I have gotten extra hugs, and a very special, “I love you mommy soo much with my whole heart”. That is my daughter’s interpretation of I love you with all my heart.
- Creative Ideas A-Flowin’: I have been working on a pet project and I could not sleep in the wee hours of the morning because ideas were popping into my head. I got up and mapped everything out on paper. I feel much further along and ready to start making it a reality.
- Dinner with friends: I am going to sushi tonight with friends to celebrate my upcoming birthday. My husband and I have both been traveling
a lottoo much for work and are looking forward to an evening with friends. When I started Lent, I gave myself one free pass for my birthday so I will be enjoying beers with my sushi tonight. (Like all things in my life, Lent is a guideline and last night was simply an offical bonus!)
I guess it’s my chosen positive perspective today – happiness and positivity. I could dwell on the rain and the lack of sleep, but they are both opportunities to find other sources of happiness!
I am heading back to my fabulous weekend – go make yours great too!
Titles For My Autobiography
Things have been more off-balanced in my world as of late. I have wanted to write about the chaos, the tantrums and the tender moments, but I have needed to catch up on the sleep that has been eluding me for the last 5 nights!
So let me summarize my life with a novel…
No, not the whole book, just the titles, as Cliffs Notes are also too long for this tired mamma.
Rene over at Grown Up For Real got me to thinking… She asked what would be the title of your memoir.
So here are my thoughts on what my memoir would be called this week.
- From Boardroom to Padded Room: How Juggling Being A Working Mom Sent Me To The Funny Farm
- And Then I Had Kids: How The World Changed and Why I Am Still Spinning
- I Am Not Crazy… Today
- I Used To Leave the House Put Together, Now I Just Try To Wear My Undergarments on the Inside
- I Am The
LooniestLuckiest Girl In The World - Stress Eating and Parenting – The Expose
- Proactiv: For Acne, Fake Sunburns and Threatening Your Children
- Why Lent May Be the End of My
KidsSanity - When My Husband Travels…
- Being Pulled Back From the Ledge by Oprah
What are your titles?
What Was I Thinking?!
What? Where is Wine Wednesday you ask? Well, let me tell you-
Lent is hard! The Girl Scout Cookie deliveries, the dinner parties with margaritas, the wine book club meetings, the post t-ball practice beers (wow, yes, we have a drink for every occasion) and I CAN’T HAVE ANY OF IT!
We went to a dinner party on the first Sunday of Lent and I lapsed into vice exchange. For those of you not familiar with this proven phenomenon. If you give up one vice, you find another. On the first Sunday of Lent, I traded booze and sweets for a pound of tortilla chips. Okay, a pound may not be accurate, two pounds! I woke up the next morning parched and feeling like I had been drinking out of the ocean.
So I did the logical thing- I gave up tortilla chips too.
To summarize: no sweets, no booze, no chips = STUPIDITY.
What was I thinking?!
But I will not quit, I will not edit my Lenten promise. But I may be in a straight jacket by Easter!
So, no, there will be no more Wine Wednesdays during Lent, because frankly, I am not that big of a person to write about things I love, but cannot have.
I am, however, an optimist and on the bright side: I have lost 5 pounds! Go ahead and place your bets on how fast I will put that back on. (Hint: Easter Sunday would be a safe bet)
Family Dinner, Hold the Blood
It has been a tough week in my house. The time change zapped my energy, I worked long hours, my husband was on a business trip and my daughter slammed me against the mommy wall. And in case, I haven’t said it enough, I am coping without alcohol or sweets! (This makes for a very dangerous combination!)
All week I have struggled with getting my diva to eat dinner. (You’ll note that I usually interchange diva and princess, but I have not seen the princess this week, just the diva!) She has been averaging 90 minutes to consume a meal and I used up my last bit of patience on Monday.
I was sharing my struggle with my friend Sonya and she recommended that I set a timer and tell my kids that they have until the timer goes off to finish dinner. Once the timer goes off, dinner is over and if they haven’t finished, there are no snacks and no treats.
Tonight, as we (meaning my husband) put dinner on the table, I set the timer for 20 minutes. My husband also set dessert in front of them – something we never do. We told the kids that we would throw the dessert away if they weren’t finished by the timer went off.
We were hopeful desperate that this would work. I feared that another 90 minutes dinner would result in blood shed. No, not my daughters! What kind of mother do you think I am? Don’t answer that. Please. The blood shed would be from me repeatedly hitting my head against the wall, chewing my fingers, pulling out my own hair and sticking a fork in my eye!
Hallelujah! It worked!
The kids ate their dinner and the timer went off as my princess (note the name change) was taking her last bite! I will be trying it again tomorrow night without the dessert. But tonight, I am still recovering from my collision with the wall and my leprechaun all-nighter so I sweetened the deal.
Thank you Sonya for saving my sanity and what’s left of my princess’ toy collection!
And for those of you who are curious about the outcome of my near leprechaun fail…
My kids made their traps, no thanks to me. I was swamped all day with work, so the nanny, who is far craftier, helped. When we left for t-ball practice as a family, our nanny RANSACKED our house and put little green footprints everywhere! My kids were OFF THE WALL EXCITED! They raced around the house for 20 minutes admiring the mess.
Then my son cried hysterically bawled for an hour that he did not catch the leprechaun and we did not get it on video…
Can’t win ’em all!
Losing Sleep to a Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day “eve” was crazy. I worked all day and then went to book club last night. As we are chatting about everything except the book, we start talking about Leprechaun traps and pranks…
Oh shit! We didn’t build my son’s Leprechaun Trap! He has been talking about it for weeks. My husband is out-of-town, the kids are with a babysitter – I am hosed!
You know that feeling that you would rather chew glass than disappoint your kids? The guilt of forgetting one of those special moments that only happens in childhood…
My son is 6, he could stop believing at anytime, especially if his mommy screws it up!
As I sat in book club I asked friends for advice. I even texted the babysitter to see if my son was still awake so I could give him a plan, an alternative, an excuse, something to keep him from being disappointed.
Unfortunately, he was asleep.
But the luck of the Irish was with me. And by luck, I mean my son has growing pains. (Yes, it’s a loose definition of luck – go with it) My son woke up with growing pains and my brilliant babysitter explained that leprechauns don’t always come first thing in the morning. My son was delighted, he asked her to tell me that he would like to go to the store tomorrow to buy materials for a trap.
When I got home at 10:45, I did not go to bed, tired from a long week of having no husband, a stressful work day and a rebellious three-year old daughter. Instead, I was up searching websites for ideas, concocting a story on why the leprechaun came late and formulating a plan for executing his trickery. And hell yes, I am taking him to the store for supplies!
Because that’s what we do as moms (and dads): We perform small miracles and amazing feats of sleep deprivation to make special moments happen. We stay up late on Christmas Eve to ensure the details of Santa’s visit and then wake up too early to unwrap presents we finished wrapping a few hours before. We risk certain heart attack and broken hands when trying to exchange lost teeth for money. We scour the internet to find discontinued Lego toys. We face our crafting demons to create potato leprechauns. As parents, we push to ensure that our children can believe in Leprechauns, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, fairies and all of the wonderful parts of being young.
Because in the blink of an eye, the magic stops; our kids grow up, the joy of fantasies fade. I, for one, am fighting to preserve my children’s magical fantasies, their joy and my joy as a witness.
So last night, I gladly accepted losing sleep to a leprechaun, because the joy it brings to my kids is pure gold.
Wine Wednesday – Insatiable Red Wine
After my kids pushed me into the mommy wall this week, I could really use a glass of wine! But, I am sticking with this Lent thing and actually doing pretty good. As long you don’t count sniffing people’s wine glasses and trying to lick my daughter’s cookie crusted face.
This is a bottle that I selflessly drank on Fat Tuesday in order to have a wine review for today. Yes, I am a giver.
Insatiable Red Wine California
Alcohol Content: 13.5%
Price: Purchased for $5.99
Insatiable Red Wine (non-vintage)
Description per label: We have been insatiable in searching all of California’s premier growing regions to bring you this mesmerizing and exotic blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Barbera, Zinfandel and Syrah. We invite you to be insatiable in your quest for incredible wine at a great price.
Review:
Insatiable means always wanting more; always needing more and impossible to satisfy (thank you to the label for the handy definition).
I want to squeeze life for every drop of enjoyment, excitement and experience. I will always want more vacations, more career success and more… [edited to keep the blog clean]. Needless to say, I am insatiable. I found this bottle on the night I was grocery shopping to host a Passion Party – coincidence, I think not.
This wine is a fraternity boy’s dream. It has a catchy label and is cheap enough to buy enough to get enough out of his date. In college my husband’s fraternity used to host wine and cheese parties- they would refill the bottles with boxes of wine in a back room. College girls rarely have a well-developed palate (I didn’t back then) so the guys usually got away with their “refills”. Insatiable is a great second bottle, once your palate is muddled, your sense of taste dulled and your sense of adventure heightened. Just drinking a wine called Insatiable throws a particular mood in the room. And there’s no need to take the bottle in the back room to refill it.
It has a fruity nose with hints of blackberry and currant. It is surprisingly smooth and balanced for the price point. It presents as jammy and slightly spicy. It has a reasonably smooth finish that blends tannins with a tartness.
On a scale of 1-10, I rate the Insatiable Red Wines a 5 for being a cheap way to set the mood.
Suggested pairings: Tacos, skirt steak, chocolate and candlelight.
Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 
