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New Toy Riddle
Can you solve the riddle of my new toy?
Don’t cheat! Read in order, don’t scroll down until instructed to do so! HEY! I saw you reach for that mouse! Play fair!
A new toy has arrived at my house.
I wanted it very much, but am frustrated by its presence.
Most people do not have one, or if they do, I am not aware of it.
A friend of mine recommended it after a night of drinking.
This type of toy typically brings me endless joy, whether I use it by myself or with my husband.
It is instrumental in unlocking one of my passions.
It is long, black and rechargeable.
This toy is not for children.
Do you know what it is?
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It’s our new electric wine opener.
And I will be much more excited about it after Lent is over!
Re-Pay It Forward
Do you ever have those moments in life that you wish you could do over and be a better you? Here’s one of mine:
My cousin, Lisa, is like a sister to me. I love her so much my heart wants to explode. So naturally, when she was in labor I had to be there to support her. I was stuck at work all day and couldn’t leave for the hospital when I first got the call. When I got off work, before I started the 45 minute drive to her hospital, I stopped at the grocery store to get her flowers. I was excited, I was nervous and I was in a hurry!!
As I stood in line to checkout, the woman in front of me had 4 cans of green beans, but there was something wrong with her form of payment. They had to go get a manager, it took ‘forever’. I am ashamed to say I was rolling my eyes and tapping my foot with impatience.
As she finished her transaction and walked away, I realized the problem was with her food stamps card. I will never forget how horrible I felt. Had I not been so absorbed in my life, and realized what was going on, I would have gladly paid for her green beans to expedite things or… I could have just been more patient. That woman will never know that I wasn’t rolling my eyes at the form of payment and I can never make up my rudeness to her (something I will never forget).
But there is still a lesson to be learned and a way to create something positive out of my negative behavior. I use that day to re-pay it forward. You have likely heard of paying it forward, buying the next person’s coffee, paying the next driver’s toll fees. I love those gestures, but also practice small acts of patience and kindness with strangers. I need to make amends to a stranger for being rude, so I make sure to treat other strangers better.
- I wait patiently when someone is trying to park their car next to mine (it’s a big SUV and seems to intimidate people).
- I pull the lever so the next person has a paper towel in the airport restroom.
- I help people get their baggage up to the ticket counter.
- Helping people who are lost (directionally – if they are lost in their lives, I probably would only hurt the situation).
- Holding the elevator doors when you know the person is just around the corner even though you can’t see them and can get away with letting the doors close.
Since I can’t ever apologize to that woman in the grocery store, I try to pass on other goodness that I hope will come back to her.
I also know there will be other moments when I am distracted, stressed or simply not being the best Paige I can be, so I re-pay it forward for those moments too.
How do you show kindness to strangers?
Wine Wednesday – 2008 Cakebread Pinot Noir
I am sitting here drinking this delightful Pinot Noir on Fat Tuesday before I give up wine for Lent. A couple of thoughts come to mind – why am I giving up wine? And if I am, I had better drink something good tonight. The Cakebread Pinot did not disappoint. In fact, I have never met a disappointing Cakebread wine, have you?
2008 Cakebread Cellars Carneros Napa Valley Pinot Noir
Alcohol Content: 14.7%
Price: $49.00
Description per label: We craft this complex, aromatic Pinot Noir from multiple, high quality clones grown in several outstanding vineyards in the Carneros district of southern Napa Valley, a cool-climate region renowned for its peerless Pinots. In 2008, spring frosts in Carneros reduced yields, concentrating flavors in our Pinot Noir grapes. Vinified exclusively from free-run juice and aged 15 months in French oak barrels, our 2008 Carneros Pinot Noir boasts vivid black cherry, blueberry and rose petal aromas. Its succulent cherry, plum and red berry flavors are lifted by fresh acidity and fine, supple tannins.
Review:
I first discovered Cakebread before I had children. It was an idyllic point in my life when I had an income, without the financial (but worthwhile) drain of children. I drank good wine, ate in great restaurants and had wild adventures. This Pinot Noir took me back to that time of civility and excitement, it is the perfect balance of spicy and smooth. The wine leads with a smooth and supple blend of dark cherry flavors. It reminds me of my organized, serene life before my priceless children. The finish is brings the excitement and adventure of the spice. It’s reminiscent of salsa dancing at the Capitol Club in the Bay Area.
Cakebread harvests their Pinot Noir grapes at night to protect workers from the summer heat. I can relate to this, as I do my best work at night, when protected from the distractions of my children… usually.
On a scale of 1-10, I rate the Cakebread Pinot Noir a 7 for its complexity and ability to transport me back in time.
Suggested pairings: Salmon, barbecue, Thai food and any time you want to reminisce.
PSA – No Booze, No Sweets
This is a Public Service Announcement.
In an effort to prepare the public for possible threats of violence, sarcasm, mood swings and emotional breakdowns, the FAIL (Federation of Ambitious and Idiotic Lenters) issue public service announcements when one of their parishioners is embarking on an overly ambitious Lenten gesture.
The following FAIL PSA has just been issued for the Northern California area:
Paige Morgan, a well-meaning, but off-balance, Catholic, has announced that she will be giving up all sweets and liquor for Lent. Yes, you read that correctly: ALL sweets and ALL alcohol. The FAIL is concerned because Paige does not get through a day without a sweet, a drink or both. We feel that the level of her Lenten commitment may put others at risk. Without sweets in particular, Paige has a history of irritability, unexplained bouts of crying shopping, and irrational behavior. Detailed medical analysis have found that Paige is kept balanced by a consistent diet of chocolate and wine (or beer or Captain).
The following precautions should be taken:
- Do not give your children sweets in front of her. She may inadvertently devour small children in an attempt to eat the treat.
- Hide your cough syrup and witch hazel – we fear she may try to concoct unusual cocktails.
- Keep your doors locked at night. This kind of deprivation may cause her to sleep walk and seek out the M&M’s between your couch cushions.
- Do not threaten, harm or otherwise upset her children (she will be doing enough of that herself). The crazy mama bear is 67% more crazy for the next 40 days!
- Hide your rubber cement, self-tanners and Bedazzlers. Paige has a history of taking on other vices to cope with giving up her addictions.
- If you find her in public, wild-eyed, disoriented and
disheveledmore than disheveled than usual, send her directly to the Betty Crocker Clinic – they know her well there. - If you know a good hostage negotiator, keep them on speed dial. We especially fear for employees of Baskin Robbins, Mrs. Fields, Godiva and the local liquor store.
Avoid interaction with her during Lent, but should you have an unavoidable encounter, talk to her in a soothing voice the way you would calm an overtired preschooler. Offer her something furry to cuddle with and remind her that good girls get pony rides. But don’t offer her a balloon – she may mistake it for a giant jelly bean and try to eat it.
For those of you wondering how she will complete her Wine Wednesday postings, Paige has decided to consume wine (and eat sweets) for the next 24 hours straight before she starts Lent on Wednesday. Keep this in mind as her posts may be confusing, hard to follow her normal incoherent rambles.
Have you ever given up one (or more) of your vices? How did it go?
My plan for Tuesday night...
A Man and His Drink
Let’s start with any easy one:
The party animal can down a pitcher of cheap suds before you can say Natural Light. He’s also most likely to end up working construction, building his beer belly faster than he builds houses.
Then you have the more sophisticated beer drinker. He’s tested the waters/taps/breweries and discovered a taste for the subtleties of a well brewed stout, pilsner or bock. This guy is a thinker, maybe a little staid but more likely to be able to carry on a conversation well into his third or fourth tankard.
How about those scotch drinkers? Talk about your somber character! He’s probably a silent drunk, never letting you into his mind, unless it’s to spout his opinion on politics. Also, more often a taker or a bore in bed.
A straight man who prefers to drink white wine needs to do some soul searching about his sexuality. Seriously.
Fruity concoctions? If not consumed on the beach or vacation, see my notes on white wine drinkers. Exception to this rule: Margarita and sangria drinkers. They know what they like and are confident in their manhood. Also, they know how to please a lady or look really good in their swim trunks.
Oh, you’re wondering about doing shots? Come on, that’s just a guy who’s late to the party and trying to catch up. He’s also more likely to pass out on you before getting down to business, if you know what I’m saying..
Of course there are exceptions to every rule and people do change. A certain gentleman, who will remain nameless, recently admitted to drinking Zimas. But I’d like to think he has redeeming qualities.
And yes, I’m happy to make sweeping unfounded generalizations about your guy too.
Wine Wednesdays – The Naked Grape California Chardonnay
Gosh, Wednesday comes up fast! As promised here is a review of a bottle of wine for under $10. I went in search of something new and cheap that I had never had to add to the fun of Wine Wednesday. I admit it, the immature part of me (aka the real me) could not resist the “Naked” title.
I served this at my Book Club and they loved it and we went through several bottles!
The Naked Grape California Chardonnay
Description per label: Light bodied and smooth with aromas of pineapple and peach.
Review: My six-year old son recently took his pictures for the basketball team and then had to go straight to his basketball game. As we went from the pictures to the game I told him to flip his jersey inside out to change the color from purple for pictures, to white for the game. I didn’t think much of it, until another dad looked at us and chuckled. I looked over to see my son standing in a public area with his shorts around his ankles. My perfectionist son didn’t simply take the jersey off and flip it inside out. He took it off, flipped the jersey inside out and dropped his shorts in order to appropriately tuck in his jersey. “Honey, we don’t get naked in public,” I had to remind him.
Went I went in search of an affordable, every day, Chardonnay, “The Naked Grape” seemed to understand my life and my need for wine.
This wine far surpassed my expectations! It was smooth and buttery. There was less fruit than I anticipated and the subtle blend of flavors was well balanced. The finish was slightly sweet, with a hint of Riesling, but I tempered the sweetness by keeping it cold while I drank the whole bottle. (I had four children in the house, the dosage seemed appropriate). As I took sip after, deliciously smooth, sip, I realized that if one was not careful, this easy to drink wine could lead to one getting naked from consumption. The name began to make more and more sense.
As a mother of two young children, wine is an everyday occurrence, and at $6.99 per bottle, I have just found a wine that I can drink as often as my kids get naked.
On a scale of 1-10, I rate the Naked Grape Chardonnay as an 8 for being smooth and affordable.
Suggested pairings: Salmon, chicken and every time your child strips down in public.
Alcohol Content: Not listed
Price: Purchased for $6.99 – What mom doesn’t need an affordable bottle case of wine?!
Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 