A Man and His Drink
Let’s start with any easy one:
The party animal can down a pitcher of cheap suds before you can say Natural Light. He’s also most likely to end up working construction, building his beer belly faster than he builds houses.
Then you have the more sophisticated beer drinker. He’s tested the waters/taps/breweries and discovered a taste for the subtleties of a well brewed stout, pilsner or bock. This guy is a thinker, maybe a little staid but more likely to be able to carry on a conversation well into his third or fourth tankard.
How about those scotch drinkers? Talk about your somber character! He’s probably a silent drunk, never letting you into his mind, unless it’s to spout his opinion on politics. Also, more often a taker or a bore in bed.
A straight man who prefers to drink white wine needs to do some soul searching about his sexuality. Seriously.
Fruity concoctions? If not consumed on the beach or vacation, see my notes on white wine drinkers. Exception to this rule: Margarita and sangria drinkers. They know what they like and are confident in their manhood. Also, they know how to please a lady or look really good in their swim trunks.
Oh, you’re wondering about doing shots? Come on, that’s just a guy who’s late to the party and trying to catch up. He’s also more likely to pass out on you before getting down to business, if you know what I’m saying..
Of course there are exceptions to every rule and people do change. A certain gentleman, who will remain nameless, recently admitted to drinking Zimas. But I’d like to think he has redeeming qualities.
And yes, I’m happy to make sweeping unfounded generalizations about your guy too.
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Slightly Off-Balance 
Ha! Very accurate observations! You missed the Rum and diet coke drinker…he is watching his weight while consuming massive amounts of alcohol while becoming louder and louder per drink (and that is MY husband!)
There are things I’ve tried to put out of my mind…the rum and diet guy was one of them. Thanks for the flashback. I’m going to need a drink of my own now.
My husband is easy like Sunday morning…happy to drink whatever is around. Really happy.
If he had his first choice, however, and were being offered his perfect night?
Margaritas. Rocks. Light salt. Several. Followed by good red wine and grilled steak.
(But oh, don’t bring out the shots. please. Because he’ll do them. And then he won’t do me.)
Are we possibly married to the same man? This so sounds like my Adonis. Except he’d do shots to keep me from doing them. Though the effect is the same regardless of who consumes the shots: I ain’t getting laid.
I love me some Mad Woman… I’ll fully admit that, when I drink alone, my preferred companion is Scotch.
That I can read about a brewery process to know if I’ll enjoy a beer, and that I love me some sangria…well, apparently I’m a good talker whose good in bed. Who woulda thunk it? :-p
Without question sir, your comments ring true.
Heh. What about martini drinkers – do they just have a James Bond complex??
Real connoisseurs of Martini’s are bores or are bored, since they also suffer from a superiority complex but the occasional martini drinkers, or posers, are just hoping that enough dry gin will make them sound like Sean Connery.
OMG. I dated a guy who drank white wine. Suddenly, so many things make more sense.
I too have shared a table or two with a white wine drinker. He was so in tune with my emotions, I thought I was having drinks with a girl friend. It was much later that I found out he shaved his legs and sat when he peed. The tears shed at the end where his, and it wasn’t pretty. Let this be a lesson to you all!
Thanks for having me Paige, this was a lot of fun to remember, relive and write. Well, for the most part.
hahaha!!! that was awesome! mine is a rum/coke kinda guy.
Dude. My man likes a margarita, rocks-no-salt, and a good sangria, and let’s just say, he fits your analysis to a T!
But his real drink? His defining cocktail? Gibson, straight up, extra dry, three onions.