Home > Cocktails, Humor > A Man and His Drink

A Man and His Drink

While I was off (and by off I mean away and offf-balance) on a business trip, I asked A Diary of a Mad Woman to provide the scientific analysis of what a man’s beverage of choice says about his personality.  She never disappoints.  Without further ado, here it is – a man and his drink:
My research began in college. I was bartending and minoring in Psychology so was I primed to observe the male drinker in his natural habitat.  There are almost as many classifications of men as there are drinks but since this is only one post, I’ll try to narrow it down for you.

Let’s start with any easy one:
The party animal can down a pitcher of cheap suds before you can say Natural Light. He’s also most likely to end up working construction, building his beer belly faster than he builds houses.

Then you have the more sophisticated beer drinker. He’s tested the waters/taps/breweries and discovered a taste for the subtleties of a well brewed stout, pilsner or bock.  This guy is a thinker, maybe a little staid but more likely to be able to carry on a conversation well into his third or fourth tankard.

How about those scotch drinkers? Talk about your somber character! He’s probably a silent drunk, never letting you into his mind, unless it’s to spout his opinion on politics. Also, more often a taker or a bore in bed.

A straight man who prefers to drink white wine needs to do some soul searching about his sexuality. Seriously.

Fruity concoctions? If not consumed on the beach or vacation, see my notes on white wine drinkers.  Exception to this rule: Margarita and sangria drinkers.  They know what they like and are confident in their manhood. Also, they know how to please a lady or look really good in their swim trunks.

Oh, you’re wondering about doing shots? Come on, that’s just a guy who’s late to the party and trying to catch up. He’s also more likely to pass out on you before getting down to business, if you know what I’m saying..

Of course there are exceptions to every rule and people do change. A certain gentleman, who will remain nameless, recently admitted to drinking Zimas. But I’d like to think he has redeeming qualities.

And yes, I’m happy to make sweeping unfounded generalizations about your guy too.

The Mad Woman behind the Blog
Twitter: Madsbloggingmom
  1. March 7, 2011 at 6:24 am

    Ha! Very accurate observations! You missed the Rum and diet coke drinker…he is watching his weight while consuming massive amounts of alcohol while becoming louder and louder per drink (and that is MY husband!)

    • March 7, 2011 at 9:48 am

      There are things I’ve tried to put out of my mind…the rum and diet guy was one of them. Thanks for the flashback. I’m going to need a drink of my own now.

  2. March 7, 2011 at 6:54 am

    My husband is easy like Sunday morning…happy to drink whatever is around. Really happy.

    If he had his first choice, however, and were being offered his perfect night?

    Margaritas. Rocks. Light salt. Several. Followed by good red wine and grilled steak.

    (But oh, don’t bring out the shots. please. Because he’ll do them. And then he won’t do me.)

    • March 7, 2011 at 9:49 am

      Are we possibly married to the same man? This so sounds like my Adonis. Except he’d do shots to keep me from doing them. Though the effect is the same regardless of who consumes the shots: I ain’t getting laid.

  3. March 7, 2011 at 7:33 am

    I love me some Mad Woman… I’ll fully admit that, when I drink alone, my preferred companion is Scotch.

    That I can read about a brewery process to know if I’ll enjoy a beer, and that I love me some sangria…well, apparently I’m a good talker whose good in bed. Who woulda thunk it? :-p

  4. KLZ
    March 7, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Heh. What about martini drinkers – do they just have a James Bond complex??

    • March 7, 2011 at 9:52 am

      Real connoisseurs of Martini’s are bores or are bored, since they also suffer from a superiority complex but the occasional martini drinkers, or posers, are just hoping that enough dry gin will make them sound like Sean Connery.

  5. March 7, 2011 at 9:17 am

    OMG. I dated a guy who drank white wine. Suddenly, so many things make more sense.

    • March 7, 2011 at 10:27 am

      I too have shared a table or two with a white wine drinker. He was so in tune with my emotions, I thought I was having drinks with a girl friend. It was much later that I found out he shaved his legs and sat when he peed. The tears shed at the end where his, and it wasn’t pretty. Let this be a lesson to you all!

  6. March 7, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Thanks for having me Paige, this was a lot of fun to remember, relive and write. Well, for the most part.

  7. March 7, 2011 at 11:26 am

    hahaha!!! that was awesome! mine is a rum/coke kinda guy.

  8. CDG
    March 7, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Dude. My man likes a margarita, rocks-no-salt, and a good sangria, and let’s just say, he fits your analysis to a T!

    But his real drink? His defining cocktail? Gibson, straight up, extra dry, three onions.

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