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Posts Tagged ‘food’

I Have Slept in the Rain, I Am Not High Maintenance

September 2, 2010 2 comments
I realize that yesterday’s list of rules may have made me sound a bit high maintenance.  So I would like to set the record straight: I am medium maintenance.
My husband always says being high maintenance is relative and that on the spectrum, I am “not that bad”.  I think I was on the path to high maintenance, and then I had kids.  They took my wallet and kicked me off the path.  They keep me balanced.  Here’s the proof:
  1. I don’t belive in manicures. (Although I have vastly different views on pedicures)
  2. If there is food involved I can be ready in under three minutes to walk out the door. (But you may not want to sit across from me)
  3. If you’re cooking, I will eat it, no questions asked.
  4. I drink beer, not just wine and cocktails.  The Silver Bullet suits me just fine.
  5. I love hand-me-downs for my kids.
  6. My Nieman Marcus is Marshalls.
  7. Filet mignon and pizza are pretty much on the same level for me.
  8. Days, okay I won’t lie – weeks, go by without me doing my make-up or hair.
  9. If I don’t leave the house, I don’t dress up, or get dressed…
  10. I will camp.  In a tent.  In the rain.  And have fun.

Just like the Four Seasons!

The Difference Between Men and Women: Vacation

August 27, 2010 3 comments

My husband left today for a guys’ house boating trip.  I was thinking tonight about the stark difference between his boys’ weekend and a girls’ weekend with my friends.  Allow me to compare:  

  • His trip:  3 days of house boating
  • My trip:  A weekend in Napa
  • His luggage: a backpack and toothbrush
  • My luggage:  Rollerboard, large tote bag, make-up case and purse
  • His shoes: Flip flops
  • My shoes: 2 pairs of flip-flops, running shoes, 2 pairs of wedges and  heels
  • His activities: Skiing, wakeboarding, drinking
  • My activities: Wine tasting, spa treatments, pool time, shopping, eating (yes for us, it qualifies as an activity) and drinking
  • His time spent getting ready: 45 seconds to brush his teeth (which is optional)
  • My time spent getting ready: 90 minutes if I hurry
  • His conversations: boats, trucks, work
  • My conversations: CENSORED

   

  • His bedtime: 11:00 pm
  • My bedtime: 2:00 am
  • His cost: $150
  • My cost: More than $150… no exact figures if I hope to do it again someday!

I hope he is having a wonderful time and knows that I am planning a girls trip as I write this!  

His

Hers

I Have Mold In My Shower and Other Confessions

August 17, 2010 19 comments

I like to quote the Wizard in the “The Wizard of Oz” when he says, “Don’t look behind the curtain”.  For me that means I usually appear to have it together, but it’s typically held together with scotch tape and dental floss. 

I was reminded of my wizard mantra yesterday when my friend and I agreed we were ‘going to pull it together’.  You know, the day where you vow to catch up on everything.  Why do we set such lofty goals?!  So I went for it.  I am 90% caught up on work, filled out my daughter’s preschool paperwork (that was due weeks ago), worked on a birthday present for a friend, blah, blah, blah. 

I am really proud of myself.  I started congratulating myself on being amazing until I looked behind my curtain

  • I picked up my house and cleaned my stove, but there is mold in the shower
  • I fed my kids dinner BEFORE soccer practice, but it was a microwave meal
  • I arranged to take a family with a new baby dinner tomorrow, but I went store-bought instead of homemade
  • I did the grocery shopping, by putting a fake meeting on my work calendar
  • I had to put my friend’s son’s first day of school in my calendar so I wouldn’t forget to ask how it went on the correct day
  • I took my FIRST shower for the “day” at 10:00 pm

I also have a few standing tricks I pull to appear more together than I am:

  • I use dry shampoo so I don’t have to wash and style my hair as often
  • I have big drawers behind cabinet doors where I store all the kids toys at night
  • I keep a stash of cards, presents and wrapping paper so I don’t show up without a gift (because I am not organized enough to mail birthday cards)
  • I have dimmer switches on my lights so you can’t see the dust if you come to my house for dinner

Now, I could easily say that I work smarter, not harder (with the exception of the mold in the shower) but the point is, we all do the best we can.  We can usually make things livable, but rarely perfect.  I did not write this list to put myself down, but rather to keep a firm grip on reality.  I can only do what I can do and it is what it is. (Yes, I am going for a cliché record).  If my shower was mold free (it will be Thursday) and the meals were homemade, I would be even more off-balance than I already am.

Therefore, I am celebrating the chaos behind the curtain!  Please join me in this celebration and share your tricks for keeping it together or giving the appearance that you have it together.

Don't Look Behind The Curtain

A Quick Sweets Update

July 31, 2010 3 comments

I am still in a bet with my friend, I still have not had sweets.  He called three times yesterday begging for chew, when I said no, he resorted to trying to get me to eat sweets.  When that didn’t work he explained why I was going to lose the bet, hmmm… not likely.  He’s a trainwreck, this should be an easy victory.

Well, I have a new problem.  One of my friends, Sasha (names have been changed to protect the truly nuts), thinks the bet is dumb.  She is coming over later and is bringing dessert.  SHE DOESN”T EVEN LIKE SWEETS!  She’s doing it just to make it hard on me.  Her and my husband are conspiring and he is now talking about making his famous chocolate soufflé – Really!?  But I will not give in, I will win this bet, I will exercise will power.  Why, because I am stubborn and my dessert toting friend, Sasha, is crazy (said with love).   This isn’t about helping my friend quit chewing anymore.  Now it’s a grudge match.  It’s me against the world.  Am I pointlessly depriving myself of one of my passions?  Maybe.  Am I taking this too far and being over dramatic – absolutely!  But I am having fun and laughing hard and that is more therapeutic than sweets – at least that is what I am telling myself.

One last thought, when the best is over, I am going to face first into anything sweet.  I might even try bacon ice cream that Jen at My Morning Chocolate has been experimenting with.  Or, I might just get an IV of Hershey’s syrup and cut to the chase.

Categories: Food Tags: , , ,

The Vice Exchange

July 22, 2010 6 comments

My name is Paige and I am a sweets-aholic…

I have a friend who is trying to give up chewing tobacco and I always love a bet.  We agreed that he wouldn’t chew and I wouldn’t eat any sweets (had I suffered a major head injury when I thought this was a good idea?!) 

The deal is that whoever caves first buys the other a bottle of Jager (we both love Jagermeister) – which in itself is ironic, willpower to avoid a vice is rewarded with another vice.  Hmmm….

It is day three of this bet and I am a wreck! I didn’t take the bet because I am a good friend and want to help him kick is chew habit (although that is what I said)- I took the bet to break my own sweets habits with the hope of dropping a couple of pounds.  I must digress for a second – summer is the time when I want to look my best for bikinis on the boat, but I gain the most weight because of the numerous social events that involve beers, blended drinks and other delights!

Anyways, I thought the bet would force me to stay off the sweets.  I am a very competitive person and care more about the bragging rights of winning a bet than anything else.  The problem is that if you remove one vice from someone slightly off-balance like me, another vice or vices (yes, that is plural) must be introduced.  To kill the sweets craving I have tried beer, Captain Morgan (who am I kidding, I ‘d drink those anyways! ) and my new Three Amigos – Freetos, Cheetos and Cheesits!  I need an INTERVENTION!  My daughter had oreo crumbs on her cheeks and my first instinct was to lick her clean!  I smelled my kids’ candy basket yesterday.  I am salivating just writing about sweets!Seriously – it’s bad, I’m bad.  Where was I, chocolate… no…, cookies… no…, oh yeah, vices!

If you’re vice isn’t harmful, disgusting or mean just keep it!  You may find that getting rid of it is more damaging than giving in – that’s what I am learning!  So my friend is dealing with the lack of chew by eating sweets (I hate him) and his suggestion was that I should chew to kill the sweets craving.  How’s that for rational?!  Keep your vice, it’s better for you.  Keep your vice, it loves you.  Keep your vice, all your friends are keeping theirs.  Keep your vice to avoid the dreaded effects of vice exchange!

Finally, if my train of thought is hard to follow – blame it on the lack of sugar!

Categories: Food Tags: , , , , ,