Home > Confessions, Humor, Parenting > I Believe in Vampires Because of My Kids

I Believe in Vampires Because of My Kids

First, a confession.  I have told you in the past that I have seen the Twilight movies, but I love Twilight, Sookie Stackhouse and  True Blood, Black Dagger Brotherhood and The Gates.  To make this statement requires me to swallow my pride.  When Twilight fist came out, I teased my friends for reading teeny-bopper books.  I told them I am not into vampires.  Then I read Twilight and was hooked on the series.  But I maintained that it was just those books and I would not read any other vamp books…  Well, clearly, I ate those words.

As I was watching True Blood last night, it occurred to me that my children have all the same powers as vampires, so I can only surmise that vampires do exist.  Here’s the “proof”:

  • Vampires defy gravity with their jumping and sometimes flying abilities – My son scaled the dressing room wall at Target Saturday to retrieve a toy I took away from him.  He regularly climbs door jams and other objects for sport.
  • Vampires suck the life out of you by sucking your blood – My children have one up on the vamps here – they can suck the life out of me without even leaving a puncture mark.
  • Vampires keep odd hours, awake at night and sleeping during the day– My children enjoy keeping me awake at night and then recharging their batteries during the day, while I struggle through work sleepless.
  • Vampires can glamour you to erase unwanted memories– Vampires have to learn this trick.  My kids started erasing my unpleasant memories the day they were born.  6 hours of labor while waiting for an epidural – that must be a rumor, I don’t remember that.  When they have been naughty or unruly, they simply come up, snuggle me and whisper I love you in their cutest voice and I am putty in their little supernatural hands.

So yes, I believe in vampires now, but I am not afraid of them.  I know a vampire is no match for my kids!

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  1. blessedmummy
    August 30, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    LOL… paige, this is so true! did you read the new book, the short 2nd life of bree tanner by step meyer? short book but great as well…

    • August 30, 2010 at 8:28 pm

      I did read it and loved it! I am pretty much an addict! 😉

  2. Keri
    August 30, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    I am SOOOO FREAKIN PROUD OF YOU!!!! I wanted to yell out the window that you are my friend when I heard your name on the radio!! I can’t even tell you how happy I am for you!

    • August 30, 2010 at 8:43 pm

      Thanks Keri!! I was so excited you stumbled upon it! I’ll call you if I am up in a bit!

  3. August 31, 2010 at 3:43 am

    Hilarious, Paige! I love this post.

  4. Pandian
    August 31, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    ha ha! nice comparison! neatly written.

  5. CW
    September 1, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    I too was unexpectedly hooked on the Twilight series…so I have a recommendation. After reading the Twilight saga, some of our 8th graders introduced me to another vampire series that I also devoured, Blue Bloods (Blue Bloods, Masquerade, Revelations, The Van Allen Legacy, Keys to the Repository – have not read yet, new June 2010, Misguided Angel – coming to a bookstore near you soon 10-26-10). Happy reading!

  1. September 25, 2010 at 8:59 am

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