Archive
Sorry Work, It’s The First Day of School
My son started first grade today. My husband and I got early to prepare. He made my son breakfast, packed his lunch and got him dressed. I primped. The first day of school is the one day a year I don’t roll up in my pajamas, work-out clothes or a combination thereof looking like a hot mess. Why? First day of school pictures silly! Then years from now we can look back at the pictures and tell the tale that I was June Cleaver and Donna Reed all wrapped up in one. The only difference, I also work full-time.
Speaking of work – fat chance of getting ANY productivity out of me today! Yes, school started at 8:00, but I have a whole first day routine: After we walked him in, found his seat, took more pictures and kissed up to the teacher, we then we did mommy (and daddy) mingling. Then we came home and I pretended to be a stay at home mom for a few minutes – I emptied the dishwasher, picked up the house and started breakfast. (Not my normal morning routine.) Then I checked the dismissal schedule – it’s different in first grade than it was in kindergarten. Uh-oh – I have a meeting during pick-up time. Well that meeting is CANCELLED.
You might be asking yourself, seriously, why can’t you work until pick-up and then once you bring him home? Hello… when I pick him up, I MUST take him out for frozen yogurt and hear about his day. As to why I can’t work until then, I will be too busy thinking about how fast he’s growing up and wondering if he’s having a good day. I will call my girlfriends and see how their mornings went and how they are feeling about another milestone. Yes, I really can waste a whole day doing this!
So if anyone at work is looking for me – good luck! My baby started 1st grade today and I am playing the role of June Cleaver!
Raising Risk-Takers
As I shared, my kids learn to water ski this weekend. It seems normal for my 6-year old son, but a little insane for my 3-year old daughter. As we were getting my little girl all geared up, my friend said, ‘Are you sure about this? Is this safe?’. I love that my friend raised the question. I was anxious and apprehensive, but I also am trying to balance raising my kids safely with raising them to be overly fearful.
I am not a risk-taker. I have grown up afraid of heights, spiders, sharks, snakes, pain and cheap hotels. 😉 I was a picky eater and missed out on some great food until I was older. I have never broken a bone because I didn’t do things that are dangerous enough to cause broken bones (knock on wood). My friends tease me because I was the only one who wore a life jacket through our whole drunken rafting trip (another story). Interestingly, I have gotten braver as I have gotten older, but now I feel a sense of responsibility to be alive and in one piece for the sake of my children. So as twisted as this may sound, I would rather have my kids take risks when they’re younger (not 3 of course) and enjoy life to the fullest before they have families of their own.
So everyday I force myself outside my comfort zone to raise my kids to try new activities, foods and experiences. I want them to live their lives as they choose, as oppose to the way that will keep my heart beating normal. Does this mean I am signing the little darlings up for bungee-jumping? Not yet. But if they ask to take part in an activity that other kids do, I will take all reasonable precautions and tell them to go big. My son started snow-skiing at 3, with a helmet. He rides a dirt bike with full pads, helmet and a governor switch for the speed. He waterskiis, with a life jacket. And if my daughter wants to do all those things too (she absolutely does!) she can when I can provide a reasonable amount of precautions (aka she can reach the brakes!).
Did I wake up one day, make this choice and stick to it? No way! In fact, I still have room to further push out the old fearful Paige. My oldest never ate off the floor or had any bruises because I was so careful. But as he got older, I saw him becoming needlessly fearful of certain things and decided to try to turn it around. My youngest dare-devil diva is a good test of my boundaries and pushes her brother too. She proudly displays new bumps and bruises every week. So I often have to bite my tongue when my son and his friends are wrestling and close my eyes when they jump off the fourth stair. It’s not easy, but I think I am giving them the gift of a living a life full of experiences. I am teaching them how to look at a situation and see if they can make it safe enough. They may learn some lessons and get some bumps along the way, but then they can choose what to do from there.
Despite the fact that my friends will tell you I am a safety nut and do not take risks with my children, my views on parenting may not be widely agreed upon. If you’re one of those people who would rather keep their children away from dirt bikes, boats and rope swings and send them to school in bubble wrap, your opinions are truly welcome here. Each of us, as parents, has to go on their gut and live within their comfort zone.
For me, I am not going to keep my children in a bubble, I am going pay my health insurance premium just in case we need stitches or a cast and I am going to tell my kids to try new things (as long as they are not things sold on a street corner). As they get older I might even tell them it’s okay to jump off the bridge into the lake when no one is looking as long as they wear a life jacket…
Dressed and ready for school!
I Miss My Best Friend
I am a very lucky girl, I have a fantastic circle of friends. Each of my friends are treasured for different reasons, but I have one best friend. The person I tell everything to, without fear of judgement. The one who knows all of my multiple personalities, who understands I am slightly off-balance (sometimes more).
I miss my best friend. I miss the long relaxed dinners, the impromptu cocktails, the inside jokes. I miss the ability to completely focus on each other when we’re together. That time is now filled with work and kids. We’re trying to juggle being high performers (because anyone else collects pink slips) and the worlds best parents (because anyone else raises demons). We try to do the best we can for everyone, everyday and the cost is our friendship. There isn’t time for long relaxing dinners (unless you count chicken nuggets and Capri Sun over the noise of the kids). Impromptu cocktails are doable, but kids have a very low appreciation for hangovers. Inside jokes are replaced by kids humor because we don’t do anything not related to our kids.
What we do get is the bond of being parents, of understanding each others hopes and fears for our children. Will our kids like Kindergarten, will they be good students, will they look both ways when we eventually let them cross the street by themselves – is 25 the right age? 😉
We hope that our friendship will still be there when we come out of the other side of the parenting vacuum. Will we have grown apart? Will we still enjoy each others’ company? We don’t know the answer but we talk about it, we squeeze in the rare time for just the two of us, we promise to keep an eye on our friendship. We know other best friends who haven’t fared as well and we try to learn from them.
My best friend is my husband and we live in the same house.
I Will Not Shoot The Birds.. today
I have been quiet for a few days. I had high hopes for this week after I cancelled my business trip. I imagined a week where I got caught up on work, relaxed with my family, got re-acquainted with the gym and snuck in a cocktail with the girls. Clearly part of the problem was my expectations! I had put too much on my list for a week where the reality is I have performance reviews to write, a tough deal to try to close and normal life chaos. Then I got a cold.
I realize that a little cough is no big deal. But have you ever noticed how when you feel crappy, your perspective on life can get crappy. I think this is some sort of cold/flu because I have had a pounding headache and body aches too. I feel like I went slam dancing all night, then did a sunrise bungee jump, then got hit by a truck! Okay, maybe there’s no flu, maybe it’s because I have sat at my desk working long hours when I really just wanted to call in sick. I thought about it; fantasized about taking a sick day, watching movies in bed, reading and sleeping. Sounds like heaven right? But life doesn’t stop for a cold. The kids still tackle me like little linebackers, scream at the top of their lungs and want me to do normal mom stuff. Work is even less understanding. Don’t get me wrong, my boss would understand, but the to-do list would remain.
I was really driving the pity party bus this morning. My son came in my office and asked me to play with him. In a whining voice I hate to admit I possess, I said “Mommy is working, mommy HAS to work.” My son replied with “that’s no fun”. Thanks for the news flash! I was spinning on the thoughts of ‘wouldn’t I love to enjoy the summer days with my kids, escape the stress of work, not sit at my desk until I feel like a stiff old lady’. Of course!
Then I made a CHOICE to stop the pity party. I found a 30 minute break in my conference call schedule, grabbed my shoes and went for a walk. I cranked my i-pod and soaked up the sunshine. I reminded myself how fortunate I am that I work from home, have healthy, wonderful children, a great husband and amazing friends. I have a saying that I use when one of my friends is having a bad day: “The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, so I shot them” (Relax, it’s a metaphor, no need to call PETA). Meaning, sometimes we just want to wallow in a bad day until we’re ready to be optimists again. Well, the sun IS shining and the birds are safe for today!
This is a great reminder, that I can influence balance in my life, I can choose my perspective and how I react to the normal events in life. I can let the birds live and enjoy their singing – it drowns out my cough!
Can I Shower with You?
Sometimes the simplest things in life can cause the most chaos. For me it was my morning shower. Okay, I am lying, my mid-morning shower. I had to squeeze in a quick rinse off between conference calls as usual.
Whoever did the plumbing on my house was abusing his vices, aka was on drugs! The faucets in our showers our reversed (if it says hot, it’s cold). Our master shower does not heat up unless you turn on the bathtub hot water first. None of these problems are new, just something we have learned to live with, until my kids got involved…
The hot and cold labels on our bathtub faucet handles fall off, and I am constantly putting them back on. – It’s on the honey-do (or should I say, honey-pay-someone-to-do list), but that’s a whole separate blog post. apparently my kids think these faucet labels are fun toys…
At 9:50 this morning I go running into my bathroom to rinse off before my 10:00 conference call. I turn on the hot water in the bathtub and wait for it to warm up – once it warms up, I can turn on the shower… I wait and it’s still cold, I am watching the clock tick towards 10 and still nothing. I finally think, which one is really the hot… I have to call my husband and ask him which faucet is the hot (because of course he knows without the labels, and I never pay attention to these things). He confirms that my little angels have switched the labels.
It is now 9:55, I switch the labels, turn on the hot water in the bath, wait for it to warm up then wait for my shower to warm up. I set yet another world record for showering and shaving and make my call by 10:02. Females really need more time to get ready than this!
These are the little things that contribute to my chaos. Thank God I work from home and don’t use video conferencing. I am may be mostly clean, but I look more like the plumber!
The Vice Exchange
My name is Paige and I am a sweets-aholic…
I have a friend who is trying to give up chewing tobacco and I always love a bet. We agreed that he wouldn’t chew and I wouldn’t eat any sweets (had I suffered a major head injury when I thought this was a good idea?!)
The deal is that whoever caves first buys the other a bottle of Jager (we both love Jagermeister) – which in itself is ironic, willpower to avoid a vice is rewarded with another vice. Hmmm….
It is day three of this bet and I am a wreck! I didn’t take the bet because I am a good friend and want to help him kick is chew habit (although that is what I said)- I took the bet to break my own sweets habits with the hope of dropping a couple of pounds. I must digress for a second – summer is the time when I want to look my best for bikinis on the boat, but I gain the most weight because of the numerous social events that involve beers, blended drinks and other delights!
Anyways, I thought the bet would force me to stay off the sweets. I am a very competitive person and care more about the bragging rights of winning a bet than anything else. The problem is that if you remove one vice from someone slightly off-balance like me, another vice or vices (yes, that is plural) must be introduced. To kill the sweets craving I have tried beer, Captain Morgan (who am I kidding, I ‘d drink those anyways! ) and my new Three Amigos – Freetos, Cheetos and Cheesits! I need an INTERVENTION! My daughter had oreo crumbs on her cheeks and my first instinct was to lick her clean! I smelled my kids’ candy basket yesterday. I am salivating just writing about sweets!Seriously – it’s bad, I’m bad. Where was I, chocolate… no…, cookies… no…, oh yeah, vices!
If you’re vice isn’t harmful, disgusting or mean just keep it! You may find that getting rid of it is more damaging than giving in – that’s what I am learning! So my friend is dealing with the lack of chew by eating sweets (I hate him) and his suggestion was that I should chew to kill the sweets craving. How’s that for rational?! Keep your vice, it’s better for you. Keep your vice, it loves you. Keep your vice, all your friends are keeping theirs. Keep your vice to avoid the dreaded effects of vice exchange!
Finally, if my train of thought is hard to follow – blame it on the lack of sugar!
A Real Mom’s Schedule
I often make lists of the goals I want to accomplish for the day and set up a schedule to get everything on the list done. I think that if I reach all my goals, I will get some time to relax and find balance…
I then realize the absurdity of my goals and the fact that the list ensures NO balance! What mother of two young children, working or not, is all caught up and has a moment to relax?! We don’t catch up while are kids are still young, just the way we don’t sleep through the night! So the goal is not checking everything off, but rather prioritizing the list. In my true OCD fashion I have devised a plan to accomplish a few things, while maintaining balance. This is my list (followed be a few revisions in italics) for tomorrow:
- Rise at 6:30 am, eat a healthy breakfast, shower before the kids get up, check Facebook Wake up when the kids wake me up because I will stay up too late tonight working and catching up on Tivo
- Snuggle with my kids until yoga Put the kids in my bed and let them watch a movie while I snuggle and try to sleep until 7:50 then park them in front of a movie so I can get in a half-ass shower where I sort-of shave my legs
- Cancel my 8:00 am conference call so I can do the 8:00 yoga class at the gym Who am I kidding, I have to be on that conference call! Plus, I can’t remember how to get to the gym…
- Attend 8:00 am meeting Call in for meeting at 8:10 because I have to jump out of the shower with conditioner in my hair and shaving cream on my legs to break up the kids fight over what movie to watch, tracking soap and shaving cream through my bedroom and almost slipping on the bathroom tile
- Get dressed and put on make-up during my 9:00 call Start my 9:00 meeting in my bathrobe with wet hair, eat off my kids breakfast plates, with my work phone on mute.
- Meetings from 8-5. While on these conference calls, I will try to get work done, keep up on email, write thank you notes, fold laundry. Get dressed and do my makeup. Experience has taught me to mind the headset cord on my work phone when trying to put my shirt on!
- 5:00 Throw my air-dried lion’s mane in a messy chic pony tail
- 5:05 Help get the kids ready for dinner and leave for sushi with the girls at 5:15. Kiss my kids and husband and leave early so I can have a drink with my girlfriends before dinner
- 8:00 Return home in time to kiss the kids goodnight and start working.
- 8:30 Return from sushi after the kids are in bed so I can avoid the battle, will sit in my girlfriend’s car gossiping to kill time if necessary
- Clean out my closet, finish my work from the day Realize I am tipsy, skip cleaning the closet and turn off my laptop to avoid saying anything inappropriate on work email
You may be asking yourself – how this is balance? I may not get as much done with the revised schedule, but I’ll have more fun!
Suggestions to the schedule accepted! 😉
Big Confession
Are you ready…
I have a psychic.
I have never believed in these things until a dear friend referred me to this psychic. I have spoken to her twice in the last 4 years and she predicted my daughter’s birth down to a description of her and her personality. She predicted my friend’s twins and other things that one could not be vague enough to guess. She’s the real deal. It drives my husband insane – an admitted side benefit 😉 but even he knows she hasn’t been wrong.
I share this because I am a little intuitive (or just another symptom of the craziness) and I feel like something really exciting is brewing in my life and I want my psychic to give me details. I was always the kid that tried to find or guess my presents and if I feel like something good is going to happen, I want to know already!!
So why haven’t I called? I am trying to practice patience and live in the now. I get very focused on goals and the future and am training myself to not miss the present. This is part of balance for me. Live in the present, enjoy my friends and family more and appreciate my blessed life. Instead of working after dinner tonight, like I always do, I built Lincoln Logs (and knocked them down!) with my kids. I skipped a meeting to have lunch with a friend this week – it felt great! I am taking a day off next week to take my kids to visit their godmother/my childhood friend that I don’t see as much as I’d like to. I am not abandoning my job, but I am putting more emphasis on the things that really matter. When I look back in 20 years am I going to remember the deal I closed or the cherished time with loved ones? This also means whatever good thing is coming will get here when it’s time and I will love what’s here now.
For those that know me well, there is a distinct possibility that I will blog about a call with my psychic next week, but I am trying and will be honest if my inner child wins…
Being Self-Critical
I was chatting with a friend today and she was telling me her fear that someday someone will discover she is all smoke and mirrors. She was doubting her abilities in her profession. The irony is that this woman is amazing! She is top of her game in her career and is one of my personal role models. She is incredibly smart, without being a know-it-all.
How could a woman like that doubt herself?
One answer is that part of her success can be attributed to being self-critical. Most self-critical people I know, including myself, strive for improvement and never over-state our results. This becomes a bigger pitfall if you compare yourself to someone who oversells their accomplishments – it becomes easy to doubt our level of success.
We also hold ourselves to a higher standard that we hold others. I look at some of my friends and am in awe of all that they do and am surprised when they say the same thing about me. We lovingly give our friends slack, why not do it for ourselves?
My lesson here is that if you’re going to be self-critical, you need to balance that with a healthy dose of self-appreciation!
Friends and Bars
Friends are like a well stocked bar. A well stocked bar provides variety to suit your moods. A crazy girls weekend calls for shots, a quiet night at home- a glass of wine, a Friday afternoon – margaritas. Friends are similar. Playdate mommies, co-workers and book club ladies all bring a different perspective and provide a different kid of fun or enrichment. Friends can also cause hangovers in excess. Good friends also get better with age and lousy friends turn to vinegar over time.
They key to balance is learning over time which friends cause hangovers and should be enjoyed in moderation, which ones to invest heavily in because they will age and which ones will turn to vinegar and should be dumped. It’s a simple theory, but tough in practice. It took me years to realize spiced rum is the only drink I can do all day and that sugary drinks will lead to a hangover every time. It’s even harder to acknowledge a toxic friend or ones that are deceivingly sweet. I have been paying attention to my little voice lately and am starting to catalog my friends the way I do my bar. This allows me to prioritize my time and surround myself with top shelf friends.
I feel very blessed to have a diverse group of friends and a well stocked bar! What defines your top shelf or prized vintage friend?
Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 
