Slightly Off-Balance

I have been quiet for a few days.  I had high hopes for this week after I cancelled my business trip.   I imagined a week where I got caught up on work, relaxed with my family, got re-acquainted with the gym and snuck in a cocktail with the girls.  Clearly part of the problem was my expectations!  I had put too much on my list for a week where the reality is I have performance reviews to write, a tough deal to try to close and normal life chaos.  Then I got a cold. 

I realize that a little cough is no big deal.  But have you ever noticed how when you feel crappy, your perspective on life can get crappy.  I think this is some sort of cold/flu because I have had a pounding headache and body aches too.  I feel like I went slam dancing all night, then did a sunrise bungee jump, then got hit by a truck!  Okay, maybe there’s no flu, maybe it’s because I have sat at my desk working long hours when I really just wanted to call in sick.  I thought about it; fantasized about taking a sick day, watching movies in bed, reading and sleeping.  Sounds like heaven right?  But life doesn’t stop for a cold.  The kids still tackle me like little linebackers, scream at the top of their lungs and want me to do normal mom stuff.  Work is even less understanding.  Don’t get me wrong, my boss would understand, but the to-do list would remain.

I was really driving the pity party bus this morning.  My son came in my office and asked me to play with him.  In a whining voice I hate to admit I possess, I said “Mommy is working, mommy HAS to work.”  My son replied with “that’s no fun”.  Thanks for the news flash!  I was spinning on the thoughts of ‘wouldn’t I love to enjoy the summer days with my kids, escape the stress of work, not sit at my desk until I feel like a stiff old lady’.  Of course!

Then I made a CHOICE to stop the pity party.  I found a 30 minute break in my conference call schedule, grabbed my shoes and went for a walk.  I cranked my i-pod and soaked up the sunshine.  I reminded myself how fortunate I am that I work from home, have healthy, wonderful children, a great husband and amazing friends.  I have a saying that I use when one of my friends is having a bad day: “The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, so I shot them” (Relax, it’s a metaphor, no need to call PETA).  Meaning, sometimes we just want to wallow in a bad day until we’re ready to be optimists again.  Well, the sun IS shining and the birds are safe for today!

This is a great reminder, that I can influence balance in my life, I can choose my perspective and how I react to the normal events in life.  I can let the birds live and enjoy their singing – it drowns out my cough!