Slightly Off-Balance

If you’re not fan of discussions regarding bodily functions – stop reading now and come back tomorrow.

I recently read a post about “The  ‘Out of Closet’ Pooper”  that I found hilarious.  I feel compelled to state that I am not normally a bathroom humor kind of girl, but the reality of some situations are funny regardless of the topic.  What struck me as I read about how to successfully poop at work without getting caught is how motherhood has changed me on this topic.  Pooping at work would be a welcome change to having my kids watch and ask if they can help me wipe!

I used to be embarrassed to poop in public places and I certainly never discussed these topics publicly, but for me it’s true that once you have kids, you lose all modesty.  My biggest fear when I gave birth to my first child (aside from a safe delivery) was pooping during labor.  This concerned me more than any amount of pain that I might have to endure.  Thankfully, it didn’t happen (really, I would tell you at this point), but if it had, it would have been the perfect motherhood initiation.

Kids will say and do anything, anywhere, anytime.  They also love to follow their parents into the bathroom. (Why don’t they ever follow me into the kitchen during meals?!)  So I have become accustomed to discussing personal topics in very public places (like the checkout line at Target).  Everything from “Mommy, why does Sissy have a vagina?” to “Did that man just fart?” and my all time favorite in a crowded public restroom, “Mom, are you going to poop?”

Once you’re an “ass butler” to your children, as Lori Dyan calls it, and poop and pee become the center of all conversations, you are also subject to discussing these intimate habits in public.  But you know what, who cares?  Everybody poops, some just hide it better than others.