Home > Cocktails, Food, Humor > The 12 Pounds of Christmas

The 12 Pounds of Christmas

I am Paige and I have a problem.  My vices have become so debilitating that I cannot make it two hours, TWO HOURS, without chocolate or some Christmas treat!  And every night presents a new reason to drink.  (Okay, I can find a reason every night to have a glass of wine, but I’m talking about really good reasons like Christmas parties, holiday traditions and my feet were cold.)

So here it is – my 12 pounds of Christmas:

  1. The kids made peppermint bark. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t eat it and tell them how yummy it was.
  2. Every year we have our favorite toffee shipped from Colorado.  WE ONLY GET IT ONCE PER YEAR – of course I ate it – I had to before my husband did.
  3. I attended my work holiday luncheon and drank white wine – hey it paired nicely with the heavy cream bisque. 
  4. After the lunch we had a morale event that was bartending lessons (and tasting) – it was a morale event, I had to participate. 
  5. Following bartending, we had an after party at another bar.  I am on the leadership team, I had to drink to make others feel like it was ok.  But because I am a manager, I didn’t want people getting too drunk, so I ordered everyone a bunch of pizzas.  I had to eat them too- you can’t have management passing out drunk.
  6. We watched Polar Express as a family – the kids drank cocoa, I drank cocoa and Bailey’s.  It’s a requirement.
  7. The kids made sugar cookies – again with the good mother thing.
  8. We made gingerbread houses – I had to “clean up” the left over frosting.
  9. One of the neighbors brought over chocolate covered pretzels – nobody can say I am a bad neighbor, I ate the pretzels.
  10. The kids made those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kisses.  AND they used dark chocolate – my favorite.  Being such a fantastic mom to my lil’ bakers is becoming a problem.
  11. We had dinner at a friend’s house, they poured cocktails, I didn’t want to be a rude, so I drank three.
  12. We stood out in the cold to watch Santa come through the neighborhood on a fire truck, it was cold, I needed to stay warm, I prefer liquid heat.

So as you can see, in the spirit of giving, because I am a giver, and in the spirit of the holidays, I have done my duty as a mother, friend, neighbor, boss and employee.  I have eaten and drank nightly and CHRISTMAS IS STILL OVER A WEEK AWAY!  Does this mean I’ll stop now before Christmas?  Uh, no!  I want to be on Santa’s good list, and judging from his belly he rewards those who selflessly indulge, like me, over those who turn their back on holiday traditions.  At the rate I am going, I am pretty sure Santa is bringing me diamonds and a new car.

Eat, drink and be merry!

 

Advertisements
  1. December 16, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Hi Paige! I see absolutely nothing wrong with anything on your list. INdulge away!

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:02 pm

      Thank you Jamie! I am glad you and I view holiday responsibilities the same way! 😉

  2. December 16, 2010 at 7:44 am

    You have just changed my mind… I DO wanna be a mum! 😀 Loved the post.

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:03 pm

      Lies – I can blame ANYTHING on being a parent. It is one of the perks of the job! 😉

  3. KLZ
    December 16, 2010 at 8:54 am

    I think it’s the alcohol that does me in the worst…but it’s also so delicious. Who could blame me?

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm

      Taming Insanity – I think the alcohol causes me to think the sweets are ok, but you’re right, they are delicious, it’s not our fault!

  4. December 16, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Sometimes motherhood (and good neighbor-hood and management-hood) calls upon us to carry out our duties in different ways.
    I think you deserve a medal – or a cookie – in honor of your participation and obvious kind deeds.

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm

      Kali – I know we both love “awards” wanna share the cookie?

      • December 16, 2010 at 10:56 pm

        Absolutely.

  5. December 16, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Just last night, I was sipping a glass of wine my friend gave me and I was thinking “hmm, I wonder if Paige will like this wine?” It was very delicious and I drink it in your honor! 🙂 You deserve mother, friend, neighbor of the year! Indulge away.. little sweet and alchohol never hurt!

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:06 pm

      Sendie-Lou – if it’s liquid and alcohol, there’s a decent chance I like it. 😉

  6. Amber
    December 16, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    What kind of friend would I be Paige if I didn’t give you some support. I might have JW make some cookies later. wanna come over?? xoxo

    • December 16, 2010 at 4:07 pm

      AW – I am on your doorstep, let me in!!! Thank you for the support – that is true friendship!

  7. December 16, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    I can’t see one reason on this list that was not 100 percent justified. I mean, you’d have to be Scrooge himself to not partake in each of these “responsibilities” this month. It was your duty and nothing more.

    In fact, after reading your post, I’m realizing that it’d be rude of me to not have a drink and dessert now just to honor your own brave sacrifices.

    You’re a good American.

  8. December 16, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Jackie – I will eat and drink with you. Why would I shirk my responsibilties to a fellow blogger? I should show the same respect to my virtual friends and I will!

  9. Irene
    December 16, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    You are hilarious, I sooo feel you! I cannot stop eating treats! I am addicted to hot choc and Baileys and I made Christmas CRACK and I spend all day getting my fix. Ughck. I feel so bloated fa la la la la lalalala

    • December 20, 2010 at 1:55 pm

      Irene, what is Christmas crack? I need this!

  10. December 17, 2010 at 7:56 am

    You only drank THREE cocktails at your friend’s house?

    That’s really the bare minimum you know.

    You’ll be lucky if they invite you back.

    • December 20, 2010 at 1:56 pm

      Lori – you are so right. How many points do I lose? What should I do to fix this?

  11. December 17, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    A giver, that’s what you are. Loved the post and I heart your witty writing style!

    • December 20, 2010 at 1:57 pm

      Thanks Rene! Who knew giving was so fun?! 😉

  1. December 20, 2010 at 1:32 pm
  2. December 30, 2010 at 4:08 pm
  3. January 5, 2011 at 9:53 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s