Accepting Nominations: Mom of the Year
I mentioned last week that I will not be winning any Mother of the Year Awards, but YOU can (or you can nominate a mom). I am announcing my Mom of the Year contest to recognize the crazy things you do as you struggle for balance!
But in the spirit of being Slightly Off-Balance, I am not looking for traditional stories of all organic food, no tv, no yelling (these are all amazing qualities, but I don’t want to feel bad about myself!) You win with humor!
Tell me a story about how you fed your kids McDonald’s for six straight meals or how you ate their cupcakes and told them they were stale. The more off-balance and funny the better. I will announce a winner next Monday, October 25th.
And what is the prize for being Slightly Off-Balance Mom of the Year? The honor! Bragging Rights! In other words, it’s kind of like other aspects of parenting – they don’t hand out awards, but trust me I will say how awesome you are. Isn’t that reward enough? I know, but’s it’s all I got for the moment.
Okay, tell me why you’re Mom of the Year!
Leave a Reply
Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 
OK, Paige, this could be dangerous. I can’t wait to see the entries on this contest – fantastic idea!!!
Here is my entry for Mom of the Year:
I took my boys to Target. Now, not sure how many moms lose it at Target, but it’s worse than a grocery store for me. They get hopped up on all the things to see and completely lose their rationale minds. So do I. My older one was throwing items in the cart faster than I could get them out, and while I yelled at him I lost my little one. I turned around and in a second he was gone. I raced through the store, yelling his name, and finally a nice salesperson who looked at me like I was dog doo doo for losing my kid, brought him to me from across the store. I then put them in the cart, where the little one screamed at the top of his lungs so I raced to the checkout line and got out of there fast, with only a quarter of the stuff I needed. Seething with fury, I rolled the cart to my tan minivan, hit the power door button, and told my oldest to get in the van now before I lose it in the parking lot. He said, “But Mom.” I said, “Get in the van.” He said, “But mom.” I screamed, “I told you to get in the van NOW!” He blinked at me and pointed to the open door. “But mom, it’s not our van!!” I peeked in and saw a little girl sitting in a car seat, terrified at the screaming person telling a stranger to get into her car. Then I saw the mom laughing hysterically. Needless to say, it was the wrong van – mine was in a completely different aisle, and I think I should win Mom of the Year!
Jennifer! I am sitting in the airport terminal laughing out load, people are staring at me!
Great story!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I’m at my desk laughing hysterically reading this.. hahaha..
I have a slightly similar story involving store and overly active child. Went to Wal-Mart one day, my daughter just drive me crazy with all the request and putting stuff into the cart and then my 5 month old started to cry and refuse pacifier. So there I was, holding my crying baby, push the cart and have to make sure my daughter follow us as well. I gave up and decided to go home with just whatever I have in my cart. Disappointed my daughter ask why.. she keep on asking me “did you have tummy ache, did you have headache … etc.” I just answer yes.. There’s a long line at the checker, my baby won’t stop crying, I’m sure I just look so frustrated there and to my aid, my daughter scream at the people “Please move my mommy need to go poopy!!!” I feel like the whole store is looking at me.
http://tkmom.wordpress.com/
Sendie-Lou: They should make moms embarrass proof! 😉
Does hiding little chocolate donuts in the house and not telling the kids count?? I want them all to myself.
It especially counts when they’re chocolate!
I don’t know which story is better, so here is two.
My 3 year old daughter goes to preschool in a Christian private school. She is brilliant. However, she is too smart for her own good. When I picked her up, the teachers were laughing hysterically, “Wait till you hear what she did today!” Now, she didn’t get in trouble, but I was MORTIFIED. Apparently, she reached out and touched a little boy on the zipper of his pant. She didn’t linger, just touched really fast. When the teacher asked why she did that she answered, “He needed a catheter.” Seriously. (My husband had a catheter for a week about 6 months ago, so she has seen the bag and the tube, but not where it goes, she just figured that one out on her own.)
2nd: She had her pants down while playing on the playground. When asked why, she answered, “This is what mommy does.” I almost died. Luckily, she was just pretending to go potty while playing house.
I think I should be mother of the year b/c I have to explain why my daughter knows what a catheter is, where it goes, and that it holds pee. 🙂
I would be mortified too! Too funny!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
How about being a full-time working mom as it is and instead of being home this weekend to watch my son play in his play-off football game (and mind you I am passing him off to one of those “perfect” stay-at-home moms to make sure he gets to the game on time and in his full uniform) – I am going off to NYC with my husband (albeit to celebrate his 40th birthday). There is never balance I tell you! Spending one on one time with my husband is so important (I know) and this is a pretty significant event, but now I look like the biggest loser of a mom not being at the game to watch my son and support him and the team – do you know what a big deal football is in this town! :o) Oh, and did I tell you that my husband is one of the coaches and I booked the trip and did not check that football could still be going on? So now he is missing the game too and feels like a heal!
So, there is never balance, we never can make everyone happy (husband, kids or work) and instead I end up with enough guilt to share with the world. Please don’t let me win this award – the guilt of winning will just compact the issue – ha ha!!
Karen, what you just described sounds like perfect balance. I am not expert, not even close, but balance to me means not making every football game, every meeting and every cocktail party. It means a constant juggling of priorities so that you hit all aspects of your life. Quality time with your husband is the foundation to marriage and family. By taking care of your marriage, you are ensuring yoru children have a happy, healthy home life. They get to see a positive example of how relationships should be! If you always put your kids first, what will you have when they grow up and start their own lives? I also bet you the perfect moms are jealous of your weekend in New York!!
I promise not give you Mom of the Year, but I might give you Most Balanced Mom! 😉
Easy…
Being soo hung over that I could not stop throwing up the next day… A “special friend” came over and hooked me up to an IV drip – He used a wire coat hanger to attach the drip to the window treatment….
My kids wanted to know why “special friend..” was sticking a needle in Mommy’s arm.. they then wanted to know what was in the plastic bag hanging from the window… …
Yeah- So proud of me..
So you were teaching them about medicine. Like a career day at home?
Karen… You are too funny..Your boys are young and will play many more games….. have fun in NY – Life is short… If you change your mind… I will go to NY for you 🙂
Karen, you are not allowed to feel guilty for this – celebrating your husband’s 40th is more important than football – without your wonderful husband there would be no children! I surprised mine with a cruise for a week. First time in 5 years we have ever been alone away from the kids. And that was for a whole week! I shuffled them to grandparents and felt like I was boarding my dogs. Was it worth it? Oh yes! Best time of my life – and I remembered why I married my husband!!! Hope you have a wonderful time…
I know where you keep your donuts… I am sooo coming over … watch out.. oh, I also have a copy of your house key…
– We told my son that Chuck E. Cheese died after he asked to go see him for at least 62 days in a row. We warned him that incessant whining and pleading would give Chuck E. a heart attack. He chose to do things the hard way.
– I redefined “candy” for him until the little kids in pre-school told him otherwise. He thought carrots were “candy” so when anyone asked if he’d like some candy, he’d politely decline.
– I regularly tell him that if he doesn’t quiet down, “Mommy might have an aneurysm”.
Should I keep going? Lol.
The “death” of that giant mouse is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time!
I think I deserve the award because finally my fifth kid (at 4 years old) is trained to do what my 11,13,18 and 20 year old kids have not learned. She changes the toilet paper roll.
I think I also deserve it because I have taught all my kids to clean, and they bathe and watch the little one as well. (Which explains why I have time to blog and work and go to school.) Lucky me.
Susie – can you teach my kids?! 🙂
I am soo a contender!
My son’s hair is sticking up in 19 different directions and we are going out in public.
I jammed my daughter into a onesie that is too small because it is the only thing that goes with the tutu I want her to wear.
When my daughter starts going nutso, my son says “she’s being dramatic” (he’s 2 1/2).
I pretend that I don’t smell poop sometimes because I am too busy Facebooking (and delaying the inevitable).
There has been yelling screaming and crying already this morning and not all by them and it’s only 9.
Going to the grocery store alone feels like a day spa.
The other night when we went out to dinner, my daughter, sitting in the high chair, slammed her head down onto the table on purpose. She cried (a lot), I cried from laughing while telling her “stupid hurts.”
For a sold week, I gave my kids benadryl before bed because I needed some damn sleep!
On the rare occasion that I get to sleep past 6:30, I make my son go back to his room and play so I can sleep a little longer!
There are others, but I fear DCFS might come after me 🙂
What are you doing next weekend? We should hang out and let our kids watch each other.
Jamie, I would reply, but I am laughing too hard and bowing down at your feet! You and Kali are diabolical!
Now that’s a playdate I want in on!!! Will there be cocktails?
Of course there will be cocktails. My kid makes a mean Long Island Iced Tea.
Next weekend…hmmm- Oh I remember, I am going crazy next weekend! does anyone want to come? And my kids are beer drinkers straight up! Kali, my 2 1/2 year old is very responsible- he makes sure his sister is out of the way before he jumps off the couch, so he can totally watch the kids. Paige- come one come all…I find the more crazed moms in one place, the funnier it is!
this is for mom of the year 1980 or so. and it’s about my mom. i have an older brother, he was 14ish, and a twin brother, we were 9ish. my mom was having difficulty getting us out of bed one saturday morning. out of desperation she tried the “the first one up gets a big surprise” tactic. my older brother got up and, since she always followed through on her promises, he got to vacuum the entire house.
Monica – Your mom is a genius! I will be trying that one out!
(Note: apologies if this gets posted twice…I had some technical difficulty and my last post disappeared)
The way I keep my equilibrium is to keep my kids off balance, and to say something shocking to them once in a while.
The back-story of following conversation I had with my youngest son is that I wouldn’t let my kids watch Britney Spears on TV. I found Miss “I Don’t Want To Be A Role Model”, quite too racy for my then 9 and 7 year-old boys. Youngest Son is quite a joker, but I got him good on this particular day as he was trying to get revenge on me for not stopping to get him some candy after school. We were having this discussion while in traffic on the way home:
Youngest Son: “You know what? When I grow up, I’m going to marry Britney Spears!”
Me: “Really, you’re going to marry Britney Spears?”
Youngest Son: “That’s right, and we’re going to let our kids do anything they want, and eat anything they want.”
Me: “That’s interesting. Youngest Son, how old do you think you will be when you get married?”
Youngest Son: “I don’t know.”
Me: “We’ll generally, people don’t get married until they’re in their 20′s. You’re only 7 now.”
Youngest Son: “So?”
Me: “Britney is about 21 or so now, and you have to wait 14 years to catch up to that age since you’re only 7 now.
Youngest Son: “Yeah, what about it?”
Me: “Well, while you are aging for 14 years, she will be aging at the same time, which means she will get old and look just like me” (I’m chubby with gray-streaked dark hair).
Youngest Son: “WHAT?”
Me: “You didn’t think she was just going to stay 21 and cute forever did you?”
Youngest Son: [Silence]
**Note: He didn’t say another thing about Britney Spears to me for the rest of that trip home, or for several years after that!
These are such great stories, I’m not sure I can compete…. But since I have 4 kids, work full time and have even traveled for business I’ll give it a shot!
My first two sons are from my first marriage. I was a single working mom for about 3 years. Apparently I chose drive thru for dinner once or twice…
One day while going through the BANK drive thru, my second son who was about 4 at the time said “I want chicken nuggets and a Sprite.” Uhhh wrong window son. The bank teller laughed.
Elisabeth – I love this so much! IF we’re in the car and I ask my kids what they want for lunch they say chicken nuggest, because they assume we’re going through a drive-thru!
mine is a little more serious than most of these other stories but how about sacrificing all kinds of time I should have been spending with my children for the past 2 1/2 years because we were going through a divorce and I sincerely believed being the more amicable parent would be more beneficial to my children than being a bitch and refusing to let their dad have extra time with them…this decision resulted in giving him (literally) weeks of time when they should have been with me… The END result of this very difficult decision? I was awarded custody even though I work and he stays home… the sacrifice was worth it!
Sarah – That makes you a truly wonderful mother! So many people use the kids in the divorce – I was subjected to that when my parents split. I am so glad it had a happy ending for you. You are the kind of balanced mom the world needs more of!
I am the Mom Of The Year, because I have learned to accept my children for what they are, and I have watched them blossom.