Home > Cocktails, Humor, Lists > I’m Not in College Anymore

I’m Not in College Anymore

Why do I have to keep reminding myself that I am a 33-year-old mother of two??  Why does it only take a couple of cocktails for me to think I still have the energy and liver of a college girl?  When will I learn the finer points of responsible drinking?

I spent yesterday recovering from an adult costume party on Saturday night.  It was a fun evening. I didn’t lose my shoes, throw-up or embarrass myself, but I still had to recover yesterday.  My synapses are still not firing correctly so I will try my best to sound  intelligent coherent as I share some lessons learned:

  • I made a pact that I would not do shots.  I should have stuck to that pact
  • Little shorts under my costume was my wisest move all night
  • There’s a reason they’re called Kamikazes
  • It is best not to meet new people when drinking, first impressions are tough if you can’t see clearly
  • Water is more effective when you drink it, not simply carry it around
  • Cameras should be banned after 10:00 pm
  • Safety pins can be the difference between cute and dramatically inappropriate costumes
  • Although you don’t feel the pain when someone steps on your foot with their high-heel at the moment, you will the next day
  • Sparkly eye makeup causes eye-twitching the next day
  • When attending a costume party, know that if a guy dressed as a sheriff has a patrol car, he might be legit

When was the last time you were reminded of your age?

Categories: Cocktails, Humor, Lists Tags: , ,
  1. October 18, 2010 at 6:51 am

    Yo Paige!

    I know what you mean about not being a kid anymore. It only took me 43 years to learn the fine art of pacing myself through a night of drinking. Here’s my list of signs that you can’t drink like a 20 year old anymore:

    #1 – After pre-scotch tasting beers at the bar, 2 hours of wall to wall scotch tasting, and more post-tasting drinks, we really shouldn’t have done the Midnight run to Chinatown. Bad bad combination. This leads to heartburn, a massive headache, and tossing and turning till 4AM in a hotel room. Thank god for breakfast buffets and bottomless cups of coffee! The only true hangover cure.

    #2 – Staying out till 12AM on a school night isn’t as easy as it used to be. 6:30AM and daycare/1st grade drop-off comes around awfully quick when you go to bed as 1AM. I used to be able to stay up till 2AM and make it to work on time. Those days are gone.

    #3 – Instead of chasing beers with a whisky, we now ask for tall glasses of water.

    There is a plus side to getting older though… you make more friends in a similar situation (kids, mortgage, 9 to 5 job, etc), you have more opportunities to socialize, and the booze/beer/food is of a much much higher quality.


    • October 18, 2010 at 1:16 pm

      G-Lo, thanks for stopping by! I love your post about the double hip flask. Two is always better than one!

      I defintely feel the early mornings with the kids! I rarely will go big unless the kids are with mother-in-law for the night. Hangovers and patience don’t mix! Just a few years ago, I could drink until 2:00 am and still get up with my son, now I can’t go past 11:00 without collateral dammage!

      • October 18, 2010 at 7:54 pm

        Yo Paige!

        You’re very welcome. Though I’m no mom (just a lowly Daddy-O), I can totally relate to your post. As far as the mornings go, I couldn’t agree more. Kids and hangovers do NOT mix!

        Perhaps you should put the double hip flask on your short list for Christmas. Tis just around the corner afterall.


  2. October 18, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Haha, the last one is quite awesome.

    I’ve been out of college for three years now, and coming to this realization honestly breaks my heart.


    • October 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm

      Lucky- It gets worse better. I am lying. Cocktails get harder to bounce back from, but if wisdom increases, you’ll be better off than me! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. October 18, 2010 at 7:54 am

    This is about the most valuable list I’ve seen in a while. My favorite is the last one.

    I am reminded of my age every day when I see my gray hairs scattered around and pine for my next hair appointment. Then I will go back to pretending I’m 23. It was a good year.

    • October 18, 2010 at 1:03 pm

      ha ha ha! I am glad I could provide you some valuable information, especially if you make date nights with T a regular occurence!

  4. Shan
    October 18, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Thanks Paige – we have two adults-only parties coming up in 2 weekends and I needed the reminder. I say this and yet, to my dismay, you’ll most likely see photos on facebook pup up faster than I can un-tag myself in. Keep your eyes peeled in the weeks to come. hah! XO

  5. October 18, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    I just turned 40 last month. On the night of my birthday, two great friends took me out partying at a concert. I drank, sang and danced in the pit, and got home at 3:00am. Of course, the next day my kids still woke me up at 7:00am and I think I am still recovering from that outing. Ouch – I am feeling my age! At least we can all laugh about it together – and it is SO much fun at the moment!

  6. October 18, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    You know it’s bad when you stay up WAY past your bedtime, stay sober, and STILL feel like you were run over by a truck. I still can’t figure that one out!

  7. October 20, 2010 at 10:41 am

    The last time I was reminded of my age? Yesterday, by my pre-teen daughter. I’m thinking about getting a Master’s in Education and getting certified as a teacher. My daughter asked me, “So, will you have to student teach?” “Yes,” I answered. She paused for a second, and then said, “But, all of our student teachers have been like young 20 year olds!” Do you want to know how old I thought of myself before that moment? 23. Now? 83. Thank you, darling daughter.

    • October 25, 2010 at 3:46 pm

      Oh Average girl – I just turned 84 today so you’re younger than me! 😉

  1. October 20, 2010 at 8:40 am

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