Home > Cocktails, Humor, Lists > I’m Not in College Anymore

I’m Not in College Anymore

Why do I have to keep reminding myself that I am a 33-year-old mother of two??  Why does it only take a couple of cocktails for me to think I still have the energy and liver of a college girl?  When will I learn the finer points of responsible drinking?

I spent yesterday recovering from an adult costume party on Saturday night.  It was a fun evening. I didn’t lose my shoes, throw-up or embarrass myself, but I still had to recover yesterday.  My synapses are still not firing correctly so I will try my best to sound  intelligent coherent as I share some lessons learned:

  • I made a pact that I would not do shots.  I should have stuck to that pact
  • Little shorts under my costume was my wisest move all night
  • There’s a reason they’re called Kamikazes
  • It is best not to meet new people when drinking, first impressions are tough if you can’t see clearly
  • Water is more effective when you drink it, not simply carry it around
  • Cameras should be banned after 10:00 pm
  • Safety pins can be the difference between cute and dramatically inappropriate costumes
  • Although you don’t feel the pain when someone steps on your foot with their high-heel at the moment, you will the next day
  • Sparkly eye makeup causes eye-twitching the next day
  • When attending a costume party, know that if a guy dressed as a sheriff has a patrol car, he might be legit

When was the last time you were reminded of your age?

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Categories: Cocktails, Humor, Lists Tags: , ,
  1. October 18, 2010 at 6:51 am

    Yo Paige!

    I know what you mean about not being a kid anymore. It only took me 43 years to learn the fine art of pacing myself through a night of drinking. Here’s my list of signs that you can’t drink like a 20 year old anymore:

    #1 – After pre-scotch tasting beers at the bar, 2 hours of wall to wall scotch tasting, and more post-tasting drinks, we really shouldn’t have done the Midnight run to Chinatown. Bad bad combination. This leads to heartburn, a massive headache, and tossing and turning till 4AM in a hotel room. Thank god for breakfast buffets and bottomless cups of coffee! The only true hangover cure.

    #2 – Staying out till 12AM on a school night isn’t as easy as it used to be. 6:30AM and daycare/1st grade drop-off comes around awfully quick when you go to bed as 1AM. I used to be able to stay up till 2AM and make it to work on time. Those days are gone.

    #3 – Instead of chasing beers with a whisky, we now ask for tall glasses of water.

    There is a plus side to getting older though… you make more friends in a similar situation (kids, mortgage, 9 to 5 job, etc), you have more opportunities to socialize, and the booze/beer/food is of a much much higher quality.

    Cheers!
    G-LO

    • October 18, 2010 at 1:16 pm

      G-Lo, thanks for stopping by! I love your post about the double hip flask. Two is always better than one!

      I defintely feel the early mornings with the kids! I rarely will go big unless the kids are with mother-in-law for the night. Hangovers and patience don’t mix! Just a few years ago, I could drink until 2:00 am and still get up with my son, now I can’t go past 11:00 without collateral dammage!

      • October 18, 2010 at 7:54 pm

        Yo Paige!

        You’re very welcome. Though I’m no mom (just a lowly Daddy-O), I can totally relate to your post. As far as the mornings go, I couldn’t agree more. Kids and hangovers do NOT mix!

        Perhaps you should put the double hip flask on your short list for Christmas. Tis just around the corner afterall.

        Cheers!
        G-LO

  2. October 18, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Haha, the last one is quite awesome.

    I’ve been out of college for three years now, and coming to this realization honestly breaks my heart.

    -Lucky

    • October 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm

      Lucky- It gets worse better. I am lying. Cocktails get harder to bounce back from, but if wisdom increases, you’ll be better off than me! Thanks for stopping by!

  3. October 18, 2010 at 7:54 am

    This is about the most valuable list I’ve seen in a while. My favorite is the last one.

    I am reminded of my age every day when I see my gray hairs scattered around and pine for my next hair appointment. Then I will go back to pretending I’m 23. It was a good year.

    • October 18, 2010 at 1:03 pm

      ha ha ha! I am glad I could provide you some valuable information, especially if you make date nights with T a regular occurence!

  4. Shan
    October 18, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Thanks Paige – we have two adults-only parties coming up in 2 weekends and I needed the reminder. I say this and yet, to my dismay, you’ll most likely see photos on facebook pup up faster than I can un-tag myself in. Keep your eyes peeled in the weeks to come. hah! XO

  5. October 18, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    I just turned 40 last month. On the night of my birthday, two great friends took me out partying at a concert. I drank, sang and danced in the pit, and got home at 3:00am. Of course, the next day my kids still woke me up at 7:00am and I think I am still recovering from that outing. Ouch – I am feeling my age! At least we can all laugh about it together – and it is SO much fun at the moment!

  6. October 18, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    You know it’s bad when you stay up WAY past your bedtime, stay sober, and STILL feel like you were run over by a truck. I still can’t figure that one out!

  7. October 20, 2010 at 10:41 am

    The last time I was reminded of my age? Yesterday, by my pre-teen daughter. I’m thinking about getting a Master’s in Education and getting certified as a teacher. My daughter asked me, “So, will you have to student teach?” “Yes,” I answered. She paused for a second, and then said, “But, all of our student teachers have been like young 20 year olds!” Do you want to know how old I thought of myself before that moment? 23. Now? 83. Thank you, darling daughter.

    • October 25, 2010 at 3:46 pm

      Oh Average girl – I just turned 84 today so you’re younger than me! 😉

  1. October 20, 2010 at 8:40 am

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