Slightly Off-Balance

I adore my children, but do not plan to have any more.  There are several reasons we are stopping at two.  The biggest reason is our sanity.  My husband and I are both type A, OCD ridden individuals who need order and structure to survive.  Any more kids would take what little shred of balance we have left and flush it down the toilet with the Legos and Silly Bandz.  We currently can play man-on-man defense and I am not skilled enough to switch to zone defense.  As my cousin always tells me, “Two hands, two kids.  If God wanted you to have more kids, he would have given you more hands.”  I also have to believe that God would have given me more patience, a money tree and a faucet that spouts rum if he wanted me to have more kids.  Let me be clear, I admire and envy large families.  I am in awe of mothers who raise multiple children without losing them or their minds!  I just don’t think our particular brand of crazy is conducive to a large family.

So why is that I couldn’t take my eyes off of the three-month old on the plane as I flew to my business meeting yesterday?  He made me think back longingly to when my kids were babies.  I even thought for a split second, maybe we should have one more…  Then I pictured my husband as a cartoon character – his head twisting around on his neck, his eyes spinning around in his head and his arms flailing in the air (yes, my mind is bizarre).  That mental image reminded me that two careers and two kids is more than we can handle already.

Why do kids seem so appealing when I am away from mine?  Because they are NOT MINE!  I don’t have to deal with their tantrums or chase them through the terminal.  I can enjoy their smiles and turn up my i-pod when they scream.  I miss my kids so much when I travel that I think I romanticize them and parenting in general.  I sit on my plane rides home picturing my return to my little angels.  They are immaculately clean, sitting at the table, reading books when I arrive.  They get up, run to hug and kiss me and then tell me all about their days and then we frolic in the sunshine…  Whoa… I think I have jet lag.  My homecomings usually go more like this – my daughter rushes up to me and says, “I missed you sooo much, what did you bring me?”.  My son, looks up from his Wii, says, “Hey Mom” and doesn’t rush towards me until he hears his sister getting her “working mommy guilt gift”. 

Other people’s’ kids are cute because they don’t deprive me of sleep and following me into the bathroom.  But my kids are cuter (my blog, my judgment call) because they tell me they love me more than chocolate, remind me to wear my seatbelt on the airplane and share their dessert with me.  I don’t want more kids because I already have more than I ever could have wished for.

Me with more than 2 kids!