Home > Balance, Lists, Parenting, Working > There’s Very Little Grass in the Working Mom Pasture

There’s Very Little Grass in the Working Mom Pasture

Yesterday, my witty friend Sarah shared with us 10 reasons why the grass is not greener being a Stay At Home Mom.  For those who know Sarah, she is a great mom and certainly has the skills and abilities to go back to work, but she has made a commitment to her family and she’s happy with her decision… most of the time.

So now it’s my turn.  Here’s my top 10 on why moms (or dads – I think you are under-represented) should not flock to the office.

  1. Is this your mommy? When I am out with my children, people come up and act as if my children are with a stranger.  “Are you her mom?” This is why my children and I wear nametags, it helps us and those around us.
  2. The inevitable party follow-up question? Unlike Sarah, when I tell people I have a full-time job, they naturally ask, “Well who cares for your children?”.  So I am compelled to explain – “I leave them with a pack of wolves.  But I am a responsible mother, so I only leave them with female wolves, they’re more nurturing”.
  3. Nobody thinks you can help Because I do not care for my children, the kids, and others, assume I have no domestic or child-rearing abilities.  Okay, okay, I have very few domestic abilities, but I do know how to care for my children.  I can wash a disposable diaper just like a pro.
  4. Keeping up with the SAHM’s  I have never made my own baby food, sewn a Halloween costume or chaired a school fundraiser.  (I am not sure I would do those things if I were a SAHM).
  5. Playdates  Playdates are tougher for kids with working parents.  Typically playdates start because two mothers who become friends get their kids together.  Mothers of the other kids have a hard time be-friending my 21-year-old gorgeous nanny.  (I can’t blame them, she wears heels to drive carpool – she intimidates me too.)
  6. Life plus work deadlines  We still have to do homework with the kids, wash soccer uniforms, bake (I mean buy) sweets for bake sales, but then I also have to manage my team at work (aka my day-time parenting job), write presentations and go on business trips.  Time is my most precious resource.
  7. Being MIA  Weeks go by where I don’t see a girlfriend, because once work is done, then I need to focus on my kids.  Girl time or alone time with my husband gets pushed down the priority list.  By the time I have an opening on my calendar, my friends are tired from all the fun they had without me.
  8. I Am Not in the Running for Anything there’s no way to win mother of the year and since I try to balance being a mom as much as I can, I am not up for employee of the year either.  I might win Juggling Lunatic of the Year though, as long as they don’t deduct points for what I drop.

Yes, I owe you two more, but I have a work deadline, no clean underwear and the kids need help with homework, so let me sum up 9 and 10 with my favorite comment of all time:

“Do you think your son is having a hard time because you travel so much?” Well no, but I think he would have a hard time if I didn’t get time away!

While being a working mom is tough, so is being a stay at home mom.  We each have amazing days and horrible days.  We each struggle with balance, we each want to do our best.  The best thing we can do as mothers (and fathers) is support each other, regardless if we get a paycheck for our hard work or not.

 

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  1. October 15, 2010 at 6:56 am

    We need a kinder world where we do not judge anyone for their individual choices, and support every mom who either chooses full time work, part time work, or stay at home. All have their advantages and disadvantages. We need to be true to the kind of mom we want to be. Also, sometimes there is no choice but to work, especially in this economy. My little one just asked me when I could be the alphabet chef in school on Thursdays. I rarely am able to take off on Thursdays, because I am off another day. But right away I told him we would work it out. If he wants me there, I will do what is possible to be there. We need to balance the important requests. Love your lists!

    • October 15, 2010 at 8:29 am

      Thanks Jennifer! I know working part-time has been an adjustment for you, but you’re right, it is all about balancing the important requests. For me that meant yesterday picking up my daughter from preschool, because she asked me too.

  2. October 15, 2010 at 7:11 am

    Great post!

  3. Amber
    October 15, 2010 at 7:14 am

    Amen. I have been on both sides. I just wished the SAHM job gave us vacation time.

    • October 15, 2010 at 8:25 am

      Ha ha ha Amber! I wish the working mom got daily work-out breaks!

  4. Shan
    October 15, 2010 at 8:19 am

    Such a relevant topic! I don’t think there’s a more guilt-inducing position on the planet than motherhood regardless of where you’re at for the 9-5 ‘shift’. It’s also the most incredible role and something I wouldn’t give up for the world. I agree that, as mothers, we all need to support each other and I appreciate the fact that we can identify the benefits and struggles each mom has. We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt, assume that most people have the best intentions and just be patient with one another. Paige – you’re an awesome mom and I know that you pick the most nurturing wolf pack out there for your kids during the day. XO

    • October 15, 2010 at 8:27 am

      Thanks Shan! With you re-entering the workforce, know that your not alone and you’ll do an amzing job! And whenever you feel like you’re mediocre, remember I have mold in my shower and I let wolves raise my kids! xoxo

  5. The Mom Next door
    October 15, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    OK…

    HERE IS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS….
    YOU ARE RICH – WORK FOR CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS FOR FREE-
    YOU HAVE AN AUPAIR WHO LIVES IN THE WEST WING
    YOU CAN HAVE PLAY DATES WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO PICK UP YOUR KIDS AND NOT THE AUPAIR-
    YOU CAN TRAVEL WITH YOUR KIDS BUT STILL HAVE TEH AUPAIR/NANNY THEIR FOR ADULT TIME….

    I VOTE FOR RICH AND WORKING AS A VOLUNTEER ….. THAT IS MY VOTE…

    OH, YOU ALSO HAVE A HSKP AND A GARDNER…

    WHILE WE ARE AT IT.. I WANT A COOK TOO…

    HEEHEHEHEH

    LOVE THE DREAMER

  6. The Mom Next door
    October 15, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    OK… IGNORE MY SPELLILNG ERRORS… HEE HEEE

    ALSO WHILE WE ARE AT IT… I WANT MY HUSBAND TO BE A PLASTIC SURGEON…

  7. October 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    I laughed and laughed. This is fantastic! Thanks for sticking up for us Mommies who sometimes get picked on because we don’t bake we buy. I’m a wee bit jealous of the Nanny but I’ll get over it (smile).

    I’ve subscribed to your blog cause I don’t want to miss another thing!

    • October 15, 2010 at 8:25 pm

      I have a saying: whom I to second guess Betty Crocker and Safeway, those people are professionals! 😉

  8. October 15, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    What do you mean there’s no award for mother of the year??? Then what the hell am I playing board games with them for then?
    I do love the idea of leaving them with a pack of wolves, and yes, all the better if they are female!

    • October 15, 2010 at 8:27 pm

      I have a solution Sandra – I will set up an award for Mother of the Year with appropriate criteria! Stay tuned… probably will post on Monday.

  9. October 17, 2010 at 8:07 am

    I always get asked, “Well, who has your daughter while you are here?” When she was a baby my husband would always say that we left her in the crib with two bottles! What? She’s safe! He always takes up for his working mother wife. I don’t have the choice to stay home, but I am lucky enough to have a job that I love. And I must say, my daughter has flourished in daycare and now preschool. Mothers have to do what they have to do. If it’s stay home, great. If it’s work, great. Guilt sucks, but it’s on both “sides.”

    • October 17, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      I love the “left her in the crib with two bottles”!

  1. October 27, 2010 at 12:07 pm

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