Slightly Off-Balance

I had an epiphany tonight – I am a sommelier!  Just as a sommelier pairs the perfect wine with a great meal, I have the talent to match a cocktail to any kid Christmas event, well any event really, but let’s try to keep it seasonal people!

So here you go, the perfect holiday pairing list:

• Getting a Christmas Tree
  • Straight Vodka (if you’re spouse is a perfectionist like mine)
• Decorating the Christmas Tree
  • Hot Buttered Rum – you must get the seasonal stomach (aka gut) in training
• Putting up Christmas Lights
  • Water – this was a test people! Roofs and liquor don’t mix
• Watching The Polar Express with the kids
  • Bailey’s and Hot Cocoa – “Hot, hot, ooh we got it” (If this doesn’t make sense, you haven’t seen the movie, which means you’re getting coal in your stocking)
• Kids School Christmas Pageant
  • Coffee and Peppermint Schnapps (people will think it’s coffee and gum)
• Christmas Date Night with Your Spouse
  • Snow Job (this one is for you Pajama Girls!)
• Santa Run – Standing in the freezing a$% cold to watch firetrucks and Santa come through the neighborhood
  • Brandy – in the name of survival
• Company Christmas Party
  • White wine if you’re smart, Goldschlager if you’re looking for a severance package to bank roll your kids’ gifts
• Making a Gingerbread House
  • Egg Nog – When else do you make a house out of cookies and candy?  When else do you drink egg nog?
• Christmas Caroling
  • Can’t help you here, you’d have to give me (or the people who would have to listen) the whole bar to get me to sing in public
• Kids’ Cookie Decorating Party
  • Cranberry Margaritas – Kids, frosting and sprinkles, you may want just want a shot glass
• Girl’s Christmas Happy Hour
  • Christmas Cosmos – Out of style? Maybe, but so are Christmas sweaters, and we’re rockin’ them!
• Neighborhood Cocktail Party – Adult’s Only
  • This whole list.  Times two.
• Christmas Brunch with Relatives
  • Mimosa – It ony takes a splash of orange juice to look civilized
• Christmas Brunch with Friends
  • Bellini’s – Fun, sophisticated and unique – just like my friends, well most of them…
• White Elephant Exchange
  • White Russians – I don’t know why, I just think it sounds like a good idea.  So it is.
• Christmas Dinner
  • Wine – Prime Rib and Cabernet, yes please!
• Christmas Dinner with In-Laws
  • Tequila – And that’s just Plan A…
• After Christmas Sales
  • Bloody Marys – Kills the Christmas dinner hangover and gives you energy to shop

I hope this list gets you through the holidays.  At anytime you may substitute any drink for hot cocoa and Bailey’s. 

Okay, what event did I forget?  What’s your favorite Christmas Cocktail recipe?