Home > Busy Mom's Guide, Humor > A Busy Mom’s “Guide” to Pumping Gas

A Busy Mom’s “Guide” to Pumping Gas

I have decided to introduce a new series within my blog – “A Busy Mom’s Guide to…”  As a busy mom, I make daily trade-offs to get things done, keep my sanity and have a little fun amidst the chaos.  Whether you’re a working mom or a stay at home mom (or a busy dad or just a busy person) you know perfection is not realistic, so I plan to celebrate my less than perfect moments through this series.

When you see a busy mom’s guide title pop up you can expect that I will share an “alternative view” on how every day tasks are accomplished, I will even provide a handy “necessary tools list” at the beginning of each post (consider it a warning of the insanity to follow).  Let me know what you think…

My inaugural busy mom guide will be to pumping gas:

List of Tools for Pumping Gas

  • Pajamas
  • Breathmints
  • Hairbrush
  • A bra
  • A willing stranger

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I took my son to school in my jammies, thinking who would see me…  I don’t have to get out of the car and I can head straight home to get ready.

This plan was working fine, I dropped my son off, waved to friends and nobody was the wiser thanks to a big pair of sunglasses and being strapped into a car.

Then I got a text from my nanny, letting me know that she was running late.  I realized that she might not have time to get gas in my car before taking my daughter to gymnastics “jumping class” so I thought that I would go to Safeway and get gas. Again, who would see me…

As I am pushing buttons to get the pump going, a friend drives by on her way to Starbucks and texts me, “nice boxers”.

I set the pump up and jump back in the car to stay warm, but I am smart, I frequently open the window to make sure I hear the gas pumping.

I finally jump out to check my progress and have pumped six bucks worth of gas in a large SUV and realize that I was listening to the person’s pump across from me…

I panic, wondering why the pump didn’t keep going… did I accidentally use diesel?  No, we’re good. Again, I am smart…

So I start to fill it manually and it still acts like I am topping off the tank.  Being a responsible parent, with my daughter in the car, I put the pump back, end the transaction, start the car and check the gage – ¼ tank – WTF?

I start the whole process over again.

It still keeps shutting on and off.  Damn! I am cold, I reek of gasoline and have been out in my pajamas entirely too long.

I see a guy at a nearby pump and ask him for help – he has seen me struggle and smiles.

He thinks my trouble is because Safeway doesn’t clean their valves very often, so he pumps my gas (that’s the guide advice – did you catch it – have strangers help you).  He also comments on the pjs – “nice shorts”, I blush and explain that I was dropping my son off at school.  He tries to make me feel better by explaining that he did the same thing – yet he is in jeans and a t-shirt!

As I am chatting with him, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in my window.  I still have the ponytail I fell asleep in the night before – aka a rat’s nest that resembles hair.  Would carrying a brush in my car be so hard?  The thought of the hairbrush makes me think about toothbrushes and I realize, I didn’t even brush my teeth!  Not that I am trying to impress my gas pumping savior, but a little hygiene is simple common courtesy.  How do I get a mint out of the car without leaving him to do my dirty work?

As we’re standing there, I get a chill, which reminds me I have no bra on!  I am in a flimsy tank top and an old sweat shirt.  Where is that killer bra my friend Lori has when I need it?!  Knowing her she has an extra one in her pocket!  I think to myself, “Great, I have a rat nest hairdo, bad breath and “headlights”, this poor guy will never buy gas here again!

At this point, I have developed such a complex that I am practically fidgeting.  I feel bad that he was helping me and being subjected to my aforementioned issues, so I called it quits at ¾ of a tank.

It’s times like these that I miss full serve!

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  1. October 21, 2011 at 6:38 am

    That. Was. Awesome. I am definitely looking into buying that house near you because living close to such a saucy broad AND wineries?!?!? That, my friend, is heaven. Also, send me your address cuz I’m sending you a bra – you would’ve had that gas pumped and paid for!

  2. October 21, 2011 at 7:22 am

    Wait – you’re not wearing a bra and have pokies . . . and you think that guy will never buy gas there again? He’ll continue showing up, hoping that you’ll be back!

    Did you live in a place that offered full-serve? I was born & raised in NJ, and it took me a little while to get used to having to pump.

    • October 21, 2011 at 12:43 pm

      John! Did you miss the part about rat nest hair and not brushing my teeth?!

      Growing up our service stations offered full service for a higher price, but I haven’t seen it in years…

  3. October 21, 2011 at 7:35 am

    LOVE IT! I love how men are so shameless too- and will hit on a woman no matter what her form for the day. I got hit on in the Urologist’s office.

    • October 21, 2011 at 12:44 pm

      I am pretty sure the guy was acting out of, geez, I hope some guy would help my wife in this situation. I would be repulsed to think I was being hit on in that state! 😉

  4. October 21, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Thanks for the advice, lady.
    Until now, I’d been taking off my bra and putting on boxers to pump gas.

    Seemed like a good idea at the time…
    I like to live on the edge.

    And underwear is overrated, too.

    • October 21, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      Julie – I am wondering if the no underwear startegy yields you free gas… please inform us.

  5. October 21, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    oh jeeze. this made my day. 🙂 thank you for sharing.

    • October 21, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      Thanks for visiting! Loved your post today and the beautiful art work.

  6. October 21, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Oh yeah, I’m moving in on the other side of ya because that’s a show I don’t wanna miss!

    • October 21, 2011 at 12:47 pm

      Mads! Don’t toy with my emotions like this! Imagine you, Lori and I on the same block! We’d have to imagine, because we wouldn’t remember from all the wine, but it would be one hell of a good time!

      With you in tow, I’d wear the boxers on purpose!

  7. October 21, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Hysterical!! I’m totally there when you tell it–I laughed out loud!!!

    • October 21, 2011 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Jen. I would have laughed AT me had I driven past it!

  8. October 22, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    Are you kidding! Buddy wouldn’t have noticed anything past the high-beams. You could have had a peacock perched in your rat-nested ponytail, he would. Not. Have. Noticed. You go girl! I’m going to take my bra off too next time I go to a gas station that isn’t full serve.

  9. October 23, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I’m so sorry to confess I was hysterical at your story! First off, ALL moms have run out in our pjs. The last time I did it I had a horrible image of me getting a ticket or accident where I would have to get out of my car! Umm, can I get this great bra, Lori????????????

  10. October 25, 2011 at 9:35 am

    No bra on, get outta here! LMAO!

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