Slightly Off-Balance

I have decided to introduce a new series within my blog – “A Busy Mom’s Guide to…”  As a busy mom, I make daily trade-offs to get things done, keep my sanity and have a little fun amidst the chaos.  Whether you’re a working mom or a stay at home mom (or a busy dad or just a busy person) you know perfection is not realistic, so I plan to celebrate my less than perfect moments through this series.

When you see a busy mom’s guide title pop up you can expect that I will share an “alternative view” on how every day tasks are accomplished, I will even provide a handy “necessary tools list” at the beginning of each post (consider it a warning of the insanity to follow).  Let me know what you think…

My inaugural busy mom guide will be to pumping gas:

List of Tools for Pumping Gas

• Pajamas
• Breathmints
• Hairbrush
• A bra
• A willing stranger

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I took my son to school in my jammies, thinking who would see me…  I don’t have to get out of the car and I can head straight home to get ready.

This plan was working fine, I dropped my son off, waved to friends and nobody was the wiser thanks to a big pair of sunglasses and being strapped into a car.

Then I got a text from my nanny, letting me know that she was running late.  I realized that she might not have time to get gas in my car before taking my daughter to gymnastics “jumping class” so I thought that I would go to Safeway and get gas. Again, who would see me…

As I am pushing buttons to get the pump going, a friend drives by on her way to Starbucks and texts me, “nice boxers”.

I set the pump up and jump back in the car to stay warm, but I am smart, I frequently open the window to make sure I hear the gas pumping.

I finally jump out to check my progress and have pumped six bucks worth of gas in a large SUV and realize that I was listening to the person’s pump across from me…

I panic, wondering why the pump didn’t keep going… did I accidentally use diesel?  No, we’re good. Again, I am smart…

So I start to fill it manually and it still acts like I am topping off the tank.  Being a responsible parent, with my daughter in the car, I put the pump back, end the transaction, start the car and check the gage – ¼ tank – WTF?

I start the whole process over again.

It still keeps shutting on and off.  Damn! I am cold, I reek of gasoline and have been out in my pajamas entirely too long.

I see a guy at a nearby pump and ask him for help – he has seen me struggle and smiles.

He thinks my trouble is because Safeway doesn’t clean their valves very often, so he pumps my gas (that’s the guide advice – did you catch it – have strangers help you).  He also comments on the pjs – “nice shorts”, I blush and explain that I was dropping my son off at school.  He tries to make me feel better by explaining that he did the same thing – yet he is in jeans and a t-shirt!

As I am chatting with him, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in my window.  I still have the ponytail I fell asleep in the night before – aka a rat’s nest that resembles hair.  Would carrying a brush in my car be so hard?  The thought of the hairbrush makes me think about toothbrushes and I realize, I didn’t even brush my teeth!  Not that I am trying to impress my gas pumping savior, but a little hygiene is simple common courtesy.  How do I get a mint out of the car without leaving him to do my dirty work?

As we’re standing there, I get a chill, which reminds me I have no bra on!  I am in a flimsy tank top and an old sweat shirt.  Where is that killer bra my friend Lori has when I need it?!  Knowing her she has an extra one in her pocket!  I think to myself, “Great, I have a rat nest hairdo, bad breath and “headlights”, this poor guy will never buy gas here again!

At this point, I have developed such a complex that I am practically fidgeting.  I feel bad that he was helping me and being subjected to my aforementioned issues, so I called it quits at ¾ of a tank.

It’s times like these that I miss full serve!