Home > Humor, Parenting > 45 is the New Toddler

45 is the New Toddler

There are endless effects of having children.  But did you know they make you younger?

Think about how your life changes when you have kids:

  • You are more prone to eating grilled cheese, quesadillas and macaroni and cheese
  • You have the frequent urge to burst into tears
  • You know the words to every kid song
  • You don’t think twice about being in public with a stained shirt
  • You get excited when Disney releases another movie from the vault
  • Your language goes from biker chick to “gosh darn” and “bust my buffers”

My dear friend made me aware of this phenomenon when she sent me the following text:

Cat just clawed the crap out of me.  I’m wearing a Scooby-Doo bandage and brushing my teeth with kid toothpaste.  45 is the new toddler.

Her one defining adult behavior?  She is drowning her sorrows in hot chocolate and Bailey’s!

Cheers to getting younger!

The Fountain of Youth

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  1. April 13, 2011 at 6:10 am

    Love this post! Sooooo true, I only carry Sponge Bob band-aids, jump up and down when a new kid release is in the theater, and my motto for life is straight from Nemo: Just Keep Swimming!

  2. April 13, 2011 at 6:32 am

    It’s so true! There are times when I come home and look in the mirror after being out running errands and think- I CAN’T BELIEVE I went out in public like this!

  3. April 13, 2011 at 6:38 am

    You manage to use the “gosh darn?” I’m really afraid that my kids are going to swear like sailors. But, the rest, all true. Just the other day, I was leaving church wearing a black shirt with a ginormous white stain. There was a time that I’d either be totally embarrassed and/or proud of displaying such a stain in public.

    This past Sunday? I was too exhausted to care.

  4. April 13, 2011 at 7:17 am

    I am so going to use Bust my Buffers today. Just because I can. AND I am now eyeing the Baileys for my coffee, but it is only 7:10 in the morning and I am still injury-free so really? No excuse beyond alcoholism.

    Still. After I drop the kids at school, I’m meeting my girlfriend who turns 40 TODAY. I told her we could do “whatever she wants” to celebrate.

    My guess? There may be some champagne or Bloody Mary or Baileys involved. In the middle of the day.

    Perhaps even a little Busting of the Buffers. (if that’s a good thing…)

    Can’t wait to tell her she still has five years left and she’s a toddler. Hooray for youth.

    And Scooby Doo bandages…

  5. April 13, 2011 at 8:13 am

    Hilarious! And come to think of it, I do know every Raffi song ever created and actually that kid toothpaste tastes kinda good. I’m still working on the swearing thing but my LO doesn’t talk yet so I figure I’ve got at least a couple more months to work on my potty mouth.

  6. April 13, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Bust my buffers? Oh no.
    I’m hoping that feeling like a toddler kicks in after this kid is born….and I pray that doesn’t mean I’ll be wearing a diaper or training pants.

  7. April 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Thank you for the giggle. I needed it. Hugs, Diane

  8. April 23, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Absolutely right once again. I had kids and traded high heels for flat shoes; a Lexus for an Impala. Sad state of affairs.

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