Slightly Off-Balance

I am sitting here ridiculously full from a meal out with friends and their kids.  When I finished my meal off the guilt free menu, I moved on to my kids’ hamburger and chicken nuggets.  Unbeknownst to me they had gotten a hold of the salt shaker, that didn’t stop me.  I am now uncomfortable.  This will explain the theme of my envy.

1. I envy people who are smarter than me and don’t overeat.
2. I envy those who don’t crave cheese, chocolate, butter and carbs all day long.
3. I envy those who have the willpower to turn down sweets.  (My husband just brought me a piece of candy that I should not eat.  Hmmm… yum.)
4. I envy people who wake up excited to workout.
5. I really envy those who don’t need to workout
6. I envy anyone who doesn’t have a stomach ache right now.
7. I envy pregnant women with an excuse to eat and gain weight.  (Don’t confuse me with the details that they have to lose the weight afterwards.)

Does anyone think I have a problem?  If so, let’s discuss it over a slice of pizza.

What?!