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10 Things I’ve Said As A Parent

I can’t sleep, I thought I had solved my frequent insomnia with an herbal sleeping pill, apparently my body has caught on and it may be time for the big guns.  As I laid in bed trying to sleep, I was thinking about how much my kids make me crazy, the weird things I say as a parent and why I love them so much.  For those of you that know me, you know I love spreadsheets and lists, so here you go, my first parenting list – 10 Things I Have Said As A Parent. 

Warning: more to come…

  1. Get the chair off your head!
  2. How many did you flush?
  3. You went pee where?!
  4. The bathtub is not a water slide!
  5. If you have 6 more bites of chicken, you can try mommy’s wine.
  6. Untie your sister, it’s time for dinner.
  7. We do not put things in our bottoms.
  8. No sweet girl, you will never have a penis, not even if you have a magic wand
  9. If this plane had a parachute…
  10. Please God, keep them safe

I am going to try to get some sleep, what have you said as a parent?

  1. August 4, 2010 at 10:44 am

    I couldn’t resist commenting mostly because I’m obsessed with lists myself (and spreadsheets actually – we must be cut from the same cloth).

    “untie your sister…” so funny. My daughter is only 5 months (tomorrow) so to date my list of odd comments are along the lines of “Who has the stinkiest butt?” and “Mommy’s boobs can only take it so far. You’re gonna have to do some of the work here sister”

    • August 4, 2010 at 11:03 am

      Thanks! I love your blog! I have the same deficiency with birthday cards, although mine extends to thank you notes as well… I also have a hard time with dieting, you should read about the sweets bet I am in… I am going to follow your blog and add it to my blog roll.

      Welcome to the mommy club, I hope my posts don’t scare you with what’s in store. 😉

  2. August 4, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Don’t worry. I don’t scare easily. Even if I did, it’s too late now right?

    And my problem extends to thank you cards too. They are so far from my mind that it didn’t even occur to me to include them in the conversation. I have a list of them that I need to send. It’s the thought that counts – and that’s about as far as I’ll get.

    Thanks for the blogroll shoutout. Going to return the favor cuz I dig your blog too 🙂

  3. August 12, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    LOL, I have also had to tell my kids not to stick things in their bottoms. WTH?
    I also had to try and explain when my son said, ” I can see how they make boys into girls, but how do they make girls into boys?” How does this kid know about sex-changes?

  1. August 5, 2010 at 7:15 am

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