Slightly Off-Balance

I have never claimed to be balanced.  I never pretend to have it all figured out.  I admit that I am usually barely treading wine.  But through personal experience observation I have devised a checklist to determine if one is truly nuts…

1. You think you can finally get caught up on your to-do list with one really productive day ever.
2. You contemplate a puppy, another baby, a new car and a planning a vacation on the same day.
3. You can’t find your cell phone, so you ask a friend to call you.  When you hear it ringing on your person, you ask the friend to hold their ear to your body to help figure out which pocket you put your phone in.
4. You think that new Justin Bieber movie would be good for date night.
5. You use your mom voice when talking to yourself.
6. When you can’t find a sitter you convince yourself that the kids would be angels if you take them with you wine tasting.
7. You ask your husband to get a vasectomy and hold on to baby gear just in case.
8. You think the bright side of canceling a dinner date with your husband is that you get to clean behind the refrigerator.
9. You think that your 6-year-old and 3-year-old are now mature enough to accompany you clothes shopping without causing a dismembered mannequin.
10. You are planning to give up all alcohol and all sweets for Lent.

If you have experienced any of the above, pour yourself a glass of wine (or beer or chocolate milk) and join me at the Funny Farm.

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, tarot card reader, bartender or other professional.  This post is for entertainment only and should not be used to treat a mental health condition or ridicule its writer.  If you think you might really be crazy, seek professional help, then give them my address.