Slightly Off-Balance

What exactly did I search, buy or look at on the internet to get this email?!

Now, I am not going to lie, I do sometimes feel like a seventy-year old woman – just ask my beloved Chiropractor.  However, as long as I follow her treatment plan of exercise (uh…), Advil and wine (this is why I love her), I should not need a scooter for at least another five years.

But I am not going to lie, I am still tempted to get one for neighborhood parties.  I live in a hilly neighborhood; walking home in heels after a few cocktails is risky.  Can you get a SUI?  Scootering Under the Influence?