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Beer and Poptarts

I am a professional.  I am a mother.  I am human and need a coping mechanism, for life’s normal stresses.  I have tried cocktails, sweets, exercise, retail therapy, gossip, movies and have done many of these things at the same time!

Below are a few words of wisdom that I either personally learned or discovered through a friend.  Stress is unavoidable, but follow these lessons to get the most goodness and least ill-effects form a popular mommy coping method – cocktails!

  1. Beer and Poptarts will cure a hangover brought on by Jager and Root Beer
  2. If you run our of shot glasses, a belly button makes a good substitute
  3. Using reusable ice cubes is far more acceptable than putting ice that can melt into your white wine
  4. If you suspect your friend is drunk, but there is no alcohol in sight, give her a second hug and take a deep breath.  You can’t hide the smell.
  5. If you stupidly decide to give up alcohol during the week unless you’re with friends, start returning dishes, kids clothes or anything else you can find.  When they invite you in for glass of wine, it would be rude to say no…
  6. Liquor is a requirement for karaoke, either for the singer or the listeners, but everyone can’t be sober.
  7. Wine doesn’t have to be expensive to be effective.

What lessons can you share?

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  1. June 1, 2011 at 6:18 am

    When you invite your friends and their kids over for a playdate, mimosas and/or margaritas ensures that your child will have more friends to play with.

    When enjoying a mixed drink, make sure the mixed proportions are accurate- i.e. 4 fingers of champagne, 1 finger of OJ.

    If you are cold, a good drink will warm you and keep your heating bill lower. This also works in the summer- a good drink will cool you off and keep your air conditioning bill low.

  2. June 2, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Belly button shot. Yum…

    (sort of.)

    Hooray pop tarts!

  3. June 4, 2011 at 8:10 am

    the title alone got me on this one, but the actual post is just priceless! 🙂

  4. June 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    That is too cute! Your List always makes me laugh… maybe cause I can relate and you made it so much funnier somehow. The lesson I learned is “never too early for a glass of wine” but that sounded like a bad irresponsible mom .. oh well. Hey if it helps with sanity! 🙂

  5. June 13, 2011 at 6:45 am

    We have winethirty – it usually occurs after the children go to sleep, but can really be anytime after 5 o’clock, anywhere! Hey, we have to get through it somehow!

    http://confessionsofaminivanmom.com/2011/05/24/winethirty-the-rules/

  6. June 24, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Where are you, my friend? Missing your funny words of wisdom… 😀

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