Home > Humor, Parenting > But Officer, She’s Only Three…

But Officer, She’s Only Three…

We had dinner with some friends the other evening.  After dinner, the adults were enjoying a glass of wine downstairs and the kids were upstairs playing.  As we were sitting downstairs, we heard the phone ring once and stop, we didn’t think much of it.
A short time later, I saw our host on the phone.  This is what I heard:

“I’m sorry, what?!”

“You’re kidding!”

“We have young kids playing upstairs, but everything is fine”

“No, the sheriff won’t be necessary.  We apologize for the inconvenience.”

He hung up the phone, broke into laughter, looked at me and said, “your girl called the cops.”  Now, our host is a kidder and loves my daughter, but will show that love through playfully giving her hard time.  “Bullsh*t,” I claimed, “she doesn’t know how to dial 911.  So unless you have one of those speed dial 911 buttons, I know you’re full of it.” I explained.

“I’m not kidding.  She talked to them and hung up.  They called back and I let them know the sheriff wasn’t necessary.”

He was laughing so I thought he was kidding until the sheriff walked up to the door.

Fortunately, the sheriff had kids and the whole matter was cleared up quickly.  What went down that night is an absolute prediction of the future:

My son was the brains of the operation.  He knew how to dial 911.  He picked up what he thought was a fake phone and dialed.  When he realized the phone was real, he knew it was trouble, so he found himself a patsy, his three-year-old sister.  My little diva loves the drama and jumped at the chance to play the damsel in distress and also had absolutely no concern for the consequences.  When she got caught, she wasn’t crying for fear of spending a life in stripes, she was pissed that we failed to see her star talent and ended her performance.  But my girl is quick on her feet, she switched to the victim.  She pleaded in a shaky voice, “Mommy, I want to go home.  I am so tired.  Please put me in the car RIGHT NOW,” in between her tears.  She will be a Hollywood star.

My son the diplomatic boy scout admitted he made the call, explained it wasn’t his fault since he thought the phone (that had a cord connected  to it and dial tone) was fake.  He also quickly pointed out that he did not talk to the police.  Yep, my son will come up with some great ideas, that he will have someone else execute.  He is destined for management and with his parents’ OCD and strong opinions, likely the CEO.

Thank you to the sheriff for his quick response and better preparing me for the future!

My daughter's costume for a future starring role.

Categories: Humor, Parenting Tags: ,
  1. January 18, 2011 at 6:50 am

    LOL. Bam! Seems like your son knows the principles of management too well. He seems to know that calling 911 is trouble and the consequence is lower if a 3year old is blamed.

    I am so scared of my daughter growing up…because I am a strict African mother and I will probably piss her off to the point where she will call 911. Oh well. lets wait for that day. Or I might just ship her back to Africa where 911 does not exist

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      Blessing – I hear ya! I am looking for a good convent for my daughter! 😉

  2. January 18, 2011 at 7:09 am

    I swear, I think you just gave me a glimpse into my future… Our daughters will be competing against each other for the Most Over The Top Dramatic Scene.

    “he thought the phone (that had a cord connected to it and dial tone) was fake.”

    It’s funny, because it’s true. How many people actually have corded phones these days? We don’t even have a hard line, only cell phones. The only examples my kids have of corded phones are the old school toy ones.

    Never a dull moment. 🙂

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      Kelly – they keep life interesting! I can’t wait to see you daughter’s first feature film!

  3. January 18, 2011 at 7:21 am

    I just love the part where your daughter became so tired she needed to be taken home immediately. That is one smart girl (and boy) you’ve got there.

    My son called 911 when he was three and they didn’t bother to call back, they just showed up!

    Glad no one was carted off to the hoosegow!

    Hugs, Diane

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Diane, they are too smart for their own good AND my sanity! Hoosegow – I have never heard that one! I love it!

  4. KLZ
    January 18, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Phones will be my nemesis as Alex grows up, I can see it coming.

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Might I suggest skipping the 911 lesson… 😉

  5. January 18, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Yes, I too see this in my future. AND my daughter is the drama queen…she could put yours to shame!
    I love that your son thought the corded phone was fake…my kids will think that too, since none of ours have cords.

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:36 pm

      Mads – and this is why are daughters will be going to a convent! Missing you this week. I have been heads down but plan to resurface soon!

  6. January 18, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Oh my gosh Paige! Sounds like my two little rascals over here!!

    My son is quite the manager and my daughter quite the drama queen too! Guess it made for an interesting dinner for you all 🙂

    • January 18, 2011 at 8:37 pm

      Melissa – the best part is that our friends live in the middle of nowhere. The sheriff had to come down a dirt road!

  7. January 21, 2011 at 7:41 am


    My son only ever succeeded in calling foreign countries.

    The one time he called the police – on purpose because his dad had fallen down a flight of stairs.

    Pretty quick thinking for a six year old.

    Although I think he was prouder of himself for coming to the rescue than worried about his dad.

  1. January 28, 2011 at 9:44 am

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