12 Steps to a “Mature” New Years Eve
I am recovering from my exhibition of class and maturity. Here are the twelve steps for a mature and dignified New Years Eve celebration:
- Get a babysitter. I am a responsible parent. Usually…
- Dress up – we looked classy and mature
- Go to a burger joint – we were overdressed, but the food is yummy
- Play college drinking games like Circle of Death (our rules are slightly different, but you get the idea)
- Pull the fourth king (yep, lucky me) and pound a cup of champagne, Chambord, Jack Daniels and Diet Coke. Ugh!
- Have a hula-hooping contest. No, I am not kidding.
- Liberate the kids superhero masks and take pictures.
- Decide the anonymity of the masks is perfect for toilet-papering and choose a
victimlucky recipient. Our choices were the family who just had a baby and bought a new car or the couple who left our soiree early. (We only attack people we know. It’s a sign of friendship.) We chose the neighbors who left early. That’ll teach ’em… - Convince the sober driver (yes, we had one) our idea was a good one.
- Go to my house to steal toilet paper. I snuck in thru the garage so as not to
wakethe kidstip off my husband who had left the party fifteen minutes earlier and had told me not to go TP’ing…). - Toilet paper the neighbor’s house while wearing superhero masks and take pictures.
- Regret our decisions this morning when it was pouring down rain…
Needless, to say, I had to make an apology call today, after getting up with the kids at 7:00 am.
I know what you’re thinking. You think that I make this stuff up, that I couldn’t really be this immature.
Think again.
Happy New Years!
Would you like to be my neighbor?
Categories: Confessions, Humor
balance, drinking, Drinking game, humor, new years eve, Toilet paper
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Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 
LMAO! I want to be your neighbor!! Where are the pics?! Happy New Year!!
Darcy – you know I would LOVE to have you as a neighbor! Workingon the photos! Miss you!!!
this was a great night… i feel bad for our sweet neighbor who left early.. i will get a “sorry” gift from us all…
hugs.. love the story..
Um, where are the photos? Hugs, Diane
The photos are on someone else’s camera, but I am trying… I may have to bribe her.
Yes, I want the photos too!!
Pony up, woman!
The photos are on someone else’s camera, but I am trying…
Ah what fun night. I barely remember tee peeing. Only did I remember when I went to get a new roll and found my closet empty.
Your friends sound like my friends. We’ve been known to TP each other’s houses before. One year the guys had a light saber fight with my kid’s toys, but only after playing a game of tackle football in the front yard at 2am.
Natalie – I love this! When can you move to my neighborhood?!