Home > Balance, Parenting > Parents Need a Break… from Themselves

Parents Need a Break… from Themselves

As parents, we are under a lot of pressure.  We want to raise our kids well and be great at all things we do.  We push ourselves for silly perfection and are our own worst critics.  Why is that when a friend calls me with a bad day or a stranger tweets that she sucks at being a mom, I have sympathy and words of encouragement, but I tell myself to pull it together and stop whining?!

Parenting is tough, it is one of the most rewarding, exhausting roles a person can engage in.  It is a lifetime commitment that we cannot execute perfectly everyday.   There will be the days we lose our tempers, ignore the requests of our children and be cranky to those around us, but then we pull it together and make the next day better (or next week, or next month…).  We need to be accountable, but not overly self-critical.  We need to accept that we get exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, maybe even lost.  But we need to focus on loving our miraculous children AND ourselves.

I am not a psychologist – I’ll give you a moment to recover from the shock… I merely know how hard I push myself and I watch my friends do the same.  I know that I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold others, not because I think I am capable of more, but because I undervalue my own contributions compared to others.  So if I give myself a little slack, will you do the same?

How will you give yourself a break?

Give yourself a hug

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Categories: Balance, Parenting Tags: ,
  1. October 29, 2010 at 7:26 am

    This is my confession (and I think I might write it on my blog one day) I choose to be a working mom as a way to have a little sanity – wow, that’s a relief to be able to say it out loud – but is that makes me such a bad parent? When I had my first one 5 yrs ago, even though I wanted to stay with my baby I still have to work for financial reason. Shortly after that, my husband got the promotion and I don’t really have to, but I realize something. I need to stay working to keep my sanity! I love my both my kids so much and I adore them, but I just know this is how I need to keep good balance in my family. I said this to one of my “friend” and she look at me in horror and said I was such a bad mother. Sadly, we’re not friend anymore. I’m over being worry of what others will think of me. My family is happy, healthy and we all love each other and will be there for each other and that’s all that count. A lot of this guild were lay (mostly) by other woman who just have to say something, maybe to make themselves feel better? Who knows, but I know I will do my best of not judging others, we all go through different things and what you see is not always what you’ll get.

    When I discover your blog and then also some other mom’s blog – through your blog roll – I know that I’m not alone and we all are in the same boat doing the best we can for our family. Our ways might be different, but we all have the same goal.  I think that’s BALANCE – don’t you think?

    Ps. I always seems to write you a long comment! I don’t even write this much on my own blog! Hahaha…

  2. October 31, 2010 at 10:02 am

    Sendie-Lou – good for you for knowing and accepting what works for you! I still get caught up by the judgement from time to time.

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