Slightly Off-Balance

I attended back to school night this evening for my son’s elementary school.  Most people think the name comes from children returning to school and parents spending the evening learning about their new teachers and programs.  Those people are wrong.  I am here to tell you it is called back-to school-night because you personally feel like you are back in school.  Here is my evidence:

• You try to carpool so you don’t show up to a large group of people by yourself
• You’re afraid to be late and make a bad first impression with the teacher
• If someone walks into the classroom late, they look flustered and quickly spout apologies and excuses
• In between sessions, you quickly try to find your friends so you’re not standing by yourself
• You spend this time comparing teachers and even sharing a few urban legends/ gossip about the faculty
• There is a rebel group that skips the general session where attendance is not noted

If you’re still not convinced that some parents digress to college students themselves.  Here are some direct quotes from the evening:

• “I knew I should have brought margaritas…”
• “Don’t tell my husband I left back to school night early to go get a drink with the girls.”
• “So I was picking up a tequila bottle off my bedroom floor this morning…”

Finally, I attended an “after-party” aka drinks with a few girlfriends where the following statements were made:

• “So you’re basically drinking straight vodka?” “No, they shake it with ice, so little molecules of water get in there too.”
• “I won’t look so sophisticated drinking this martini when I hit the second one.”
• “Shoot, get the check, I promised I would be home by 7:30!”

So you tell me, was I at back to school night as a parent or reliving my days of youth?  Either way, I balanced informative with fun!

What kind of apple should I bring the teacher?