Slightly Off-Balance

I just returned from another business trip, I  travel enough for work that I know some of the TSA agents better than my friends.  I feel bad for many of them; it’s a hard, stressful job.  If they screw up, bad things can happen.  If they don’t screw up, bad things can still happen and they will be scrutinized and blamed.  With all the recent press about pat downs and body scans, I became irritated.  I question the effectiveness of some of these measures, but I appreciate that there is a group of people trying to keep us safe within the constraints of our justice system.  I am going to spare you my diatribe on why we can’t fight terrorists when we play by different rules…  I would rather be a little inconvenienced and live to bitch about it than be a victim.  So let me provide a mother’s reality check on airport security:

• A pat down is nothing to me.  I have kids pawing at me all day.  I have had strangers watch me give birth.  I have had lactation consultants man handle my lady lumps. You want to pat me down? Knock yourself out.  I am sorry if you get peanut butter on your hands, my kids accosted me before I left for the airport.
• Body scanners are the least of my worries.  I dodge Nerf bullets, have my feet taken out by moving furniture and am exposed to entirely too many loud noises.  A little radiation sounds like a picnic.  My lack of sleep is a much bigger threat to my health.  As far as the modesty goes – see number one. And here’s a newsflash – my anatomy is the same as every other female.   And right now that anatomy is intact, without bullet holes or damage from bombs.
• Don’t blame the agent.  Being jerky to a TSA agent is like being a jerk to a kid.  It’s not their fault.  TSA agents just follow orders.  Kids are just a product of their parents (which explains SO much about my children)!  Let’s follow the Golden Rule people!
• An ounce of prevention… This is a common phrase to explain that being proactive is worth it.  If one extra kid lives from wearing a bike helmet, it was worth it.  If one extra terrorist is stopped by the scans and pat down, it was worth it.
• Being half dressed is normal. Many people complain about stripping off belts, shoes and coats.  Mothers are having a good day if that is all they’re missing. 

A final suggestion: Let my kids run airport security.  Terrorists would take one look at my diabolical children and surrender!

What do you think about airport security?

Don't worry, it's a Nerf gun...