I Almost Stole a Car… Again
I really need to pull it together. I am on a business trip and when I landed I went to retrieve my rental car from Avis. I looked on the board, saw my name, P. Moran and headed for the parking space where my car was. I loaded all my stuff, got in, adjusted the mirror and prepared to start the car. I glanced up at the rental card, because since I have stolen a rental car once, I always double-check.
Stop – you know you’re curious about the first stolen car, go read it, I’ll wait here. Do you want me to hold your keys? If you’re in a hurry just read the part under fairy amusing.
Welcome back. So, I checked the card on the dashboard. Yep, P. Moran, that’s me. Wait, P. Moran, I am actually P. Morgan you silly people.
I thought it was strange that they spelled my name wrong since I have my whole profile saved in the system, so I flipped the card over – who the heck is Pam Moran?! Could they have really goofed my name up that badly? Since I already have a special mark next to my name in the Avis system as someone who grabs any car lying around, I thought it best to go back and check the board again. I take all my stuff out of the car and start walking back towards the Avis Podium. An Avis employee sees me walking back with my stuff. “Ma’am, is everything ok with the car?” (I wish he would have said Miss). “I think I may have almost gotten in the wrong car or you have some typos on my rental card,” I explain.
We look at the board and there is P. Moran and, what do you know, P. Morgan is right below it…
Make me feel better, share with me a blooper you have committed.
I am much more subtle...
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Pay It Forward
Slightly Off-Balance 
Hilarious, but I can sort of one-up. I almost stole someone’s real car.
We were parked in the same row (how am I to be expected to remember how far down the row I parked). I was on a rare kid-free trip to Target, my hands were full. I made it to my car, a blue Honda CR-V, clicked the clicker and doors opened. I got into the front seat and I’m not sure why the suddenly clean nature of the car didn’t tip me off.
But it wasn’t until I put all the bags down and looked in the back seat and had my first strange thought, “Where’s our car seat? Who stole our car seat? How’d they even get into the car? The windows aren’t broken? Oh, crap. I’m in the wrong car.”
It turns out my clicker hadn’t opened their doors — theirs were just unlocked to begin with.
I quickly grabbed my stuff and got into the right Cheerio/juice box/Silly Bandz-strewn car. It was nice to have a clean car, even if just for a moment.
Oh Jackie, you definitely win!!!
Funny story!
I had to laugh, though, when you said you wish you had been called Miss instead of Ma’am. I’d rather be called Ma’am than Miss. Probably because up until just last year or so I could pass for 18 years old, and was sick of all the looks I got for being ‘so young’ and having two kids. Here where I live, we’re ‘almost’ in the south (technically we are), and people call me sweetie as well, which I hate. I’ll be 30 years old next year, for goodness sake! I’m a grown married women with two kids; call me ma’am, darnit!
Wittywide – I am 33 and am so ready to go back to Miss and 30! 😉
I can only think of the time I actually stole a car. It wasn’t an accident, though, so I don’t think I’ll share my story.
What? It was a long time ago and besides, I’m mostly kidding.
You better blog this! I want details!
I really try not to incriminate myself via world wide web, thank you. While it was a VERY long time ago, the last thing I need is the past biting me in the ass. Like I said, I was mostly joking, anyway.
What car?
No car, no proof! 😉
LOL!
I don’t think I’ve ever stolen a rental car before.
Although my life is often one big blooper.
Lori, if need be I’ll steal pumpkin lady’s car for you! 😉
That is so funny! I don’t have an almost car-stealing incident but I have a driving out of the drive thru without my food incident. I was called “ma’am” that day too.
Andrea – I may need to hear this one! I forget a lot of things, but food is not one of them! 😉
I wrote about it a very long time ago. Before I gave up on my blog for a year and then re-emerged.
Here’s the link
http://conflictedmeangirl.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/drive-thru-debacle/
Haven’t stolen a car, but I did put my parents’ truck in the ditch when I was 12. I just told my parents about it a few years ago. Sport the farm girl. Our hired hand (to whom I was delivering dinner) unhitched the cultivator, grabbed a chain, and pulled me out with a tractor. Yup.
Haven’t stolen a car, but I did put my parents’ truck in the ditch when I was 12. I just told my parents about it a few years ago. Spot the farm girl. Our hired hand (to whom I was delivering dinner) unhitched the cultivator, grabbed a chain, and pulled me out with a tractor. Yup.
Love this! A tractor to the rescue, my son would be in awe of you!