Home > Humor, Parenting > The “Real” Parenting Definitions

The “Real” Parenting Definitions

We have all heard them, but what do these parenting buzzwords really mean…

Perspective: Trying to get eye contact with a screaming, tantrum throwing child in order to discipline them.  Usually involves getting on the ground and tilting one’s head upside down.

Time-Outs: Me. Bottle of Wine.  Closet or Patio. 

Make Good Choices: Pick the action that will be least likely to cause me to go psycho-mommy on your tiny heinie.

Consequences: A politically correct term for mommy (or daddy) revenge.  You break my i-pod, spill my cocktail or wake me up, there will be consequences.

Positive Reinforcement: Using duck tape to encourage them to stay in timeout.

Incentives: Bribes out of desperation. 

Stranger Danger: The danger of giving my children to a perfect stranger if they make me too crazy.

Crying It Out: What I do on the days when I realize that I have no control and that my life is run by two little people.

What would you add to the list?

"Positive Reinforcement"

Categories: Humor, Parenting Tags: , , ,
  1. October 8, 2010 at 7:29 am

    Oh my gosh, this is HILARIOUS!

    I’m brainstorming; I bet I can come up with a few others!

    • October 8, 2010 at 8:12 am

      Witty Wife: Our next task might have to be marriage definitions… You would be the queen!

  2. Irene
    October 8, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    I love your blog so much and appreciate your perspective on this crazy thing we call life and parenthood! Its very interesting and eye-opening to read about being a working Mom when youre a SAHM like me. Your old buddy, Irene

    • October 9, 2010 at 8:18 am

      Thanks Irene! I actually work full time from home. But whether you work or don’t work, being a mom is super crazy!

  3. October 12, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Rest: That mythical time when parents are permitted to relax, have time to themselves alone, and recharge for the next session of parenting. Like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot, there are many unconfirmed sightings of Rest, and many parents do actually believe it exists, but parenting science has not yet been able to provide conclusive proof.

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