Home > Humor, Paige's Favorites, Parenting > I Brushed My Teeth With What?!

I Brushed My Teeth With What?!

Parenting has highs and lows and sometimes unexpected, and unwanted, surprises… 

We spent an amazing weekend with friends from college and their children.  We all got together at a private camp.  We had a campfire, a hay ride, fishing, swimming, and more.  It was family and friend bonding bliss.     

On Saturday night, my husband graciously put the kids to bed in our cabin, while I sat up at the lodge having cocktails and visiting with our friends.  I strolled into our cabin about 1:30 am and of course had to get ready for bed in the dark.  The cabins were simple and we all slept in one room, which was the same room the sink was in.  So I couldn’t turn on the light to brush my teeth or take out my contacts.    

I was doing pretty good in the dark.  I got my contacts out, found my glasses and prepared to brush my teeth.  I grabbed the tube, slathered it on and shoved the toothbrush in my mouth…  What the %$&#?  This substance was neither foamy nor minty.  It was not meant for my mouth, but rather my daughter’s butt… It was Desitin!    

C’mon, make me feel better, tell me your gross parenting story!    

My toothbrush the next morning...

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  1. October 4, 2010 at 6:53 am

    bwahahahahahahaaa. that’s pretty good. not really a parenting story, but a drinking story.

    few years ago went over to my friend’s house to watch some football. Well, he’s a little guy, whereas I am rather large. 6’6″ and about 350 at the time. he decided to try to keep up with me. bad idea for him. at one point in the evening he dissapears and when he finally comes back out, we’re like hey man where’d you go? he had gone in the back to throw up, and then brushed his teeth and came back out. So now the joke is always, hey man have you brushed your teeth lately?

  2. October 4, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Hilarious! It could happen to anyone. So far my stories all include being covered in poop.

  3. Aaron Johnson
    October 4, 2010 at 10:52 am

    I have kids

  4. October 4, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    This isn’t a gross parenting story as much as it is gross…

    So I had a friend who chewed tobacco and spit the juice in beer cans. (Are you getting where this is going?) Well one night at a party, I took a big old swig of beer from a can, except that the beer was warm, and not beer.

    That’s right.

    I drank tobacco spit.

    It was undelicious.

    • October 4, 2010 at 2:16 pm

      Did you throw up a little?

      We have one friend who chews and what you described is my worst fear! I don’t like him to use waterbottles because then you have to stare at it, so instead we make him widen the opening on the beer can so we can be sure not to grab the wrong one!

  5. October 4, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    Hahahahahahaha! Sorry you used butt cream as toothpaste, but this post made my day complete:)

  6. October 5, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Hilarious. I’ve put Ozonol on my toothbrush. And why the smell didn’t catch me before I put it in my mouth, I’ll never know.

    • October 5, 2010 at 9:15 pm

      I suspect I may have smelled the Desitin before it hit my mouth if it weren’t for the cocktails! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. VERY well deserved!

  7. October 12, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Luckily I did not witness this event as it would have sickened me, but my wife, god bless her, was sitting on the couch with my second son, who was 2 at the time. He’d been feasting on mixed nuts for a little while. At some point, he got winey and fussy, so my wife got up with him, kneeled down to his level and grasped him gently on the shoulders. She was going to ask him, “Are you OK?” She got to ‘O,’ when he puked all over her, in her face, in her mouth, all down the front of her, and in the tin of nuts, too.

    Ick!

    • October 12, 2010 at 3:52 pm

      I hope you did somethig nice for your wife that day!

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