Home > Holidays, Humor, Paige's Favorites > The (Off-Balance) Day Before Christmas

The (Off-Balance) Day Before Christmas

I can’t really top last year’s Christmas Eve post, or at least can’t unbury from wrapping paper and ribbons to try, so here is a re-post of the Off-Balance Day Before Christmas.

Twas the day before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a clean spot could be found, not even an ounce.
 
The stockings were hung by the chimney with haste,
In hopes that I’d buy stuff before it’s too late.
 
With me in my flannels and Chris in his boxers,
We were sure not an ad for Gap or Brooks Brothers.
 
When what to my wandering mind should appear?
The realization that Christmas is near!
 
There were presents to wrap and groceries to buy.
Would I be done in time? Not sure.  No lie.
 
Eight people for dinner, do we have enough wine?
I ran out of butter and must stand in line.
 
The children were plotting all smug under their beds.
In hopes of ensuring I would snap, lose my head.
 
They bickered and fought, Santa threats had gone stale.
Should I send their gifts back through priority mail?
 
I must clean, wrap and cook all day and all night.
With enough caffeine and yelling, it’ll be alright.
 
When I pull off Martha Stewart Christmas you’ll know.
Despite all the chaos, I put on a hell of a show!
 
So as you scurry and prep, know you’re not the only one.
Merry Christmas to you and I hope you have fun!
 
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  1. December 24, 2011 at 7:32 am

    You’re like Busta Rhymes…Merry Christmas to you!

  2. December 29, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Quick answer: There’s no such thing as TOO much wine.

    Long answer: I’m so glad to see you, friend. I hope you are well. And happy. And that there was enough wine. And that your Christmas was beautiful.

    Cheers to a wonderful new year.
    For us all.

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